ti Page 1875 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Blame the Wildcat: Favre Is a Wide Receiver and Fisher Is Skydiving...And McNabb Is Benched
Brett Favre learned everything he knows about playing wide receiver from an instructional book written in an obsolete vernacular. And for some reason Jeff Fisher decided to make his arrival at Friday's practice via parachute. Both teams have added field goals since we last checked in, making the sco...
Viagra Could Be The Next Drug On Sports' Banned List
The World Anti-Doping Agency is looking into whether Viagra provides enhancement on the field as well as it does off. According to research, the assisted blood flow that gets your johnson jonesin' can also increase your cardiac performance. ...
The Jets Try To Steal Perfection From The Titans
Could today be the end of perfection for the Titans? Tennessee faces off against Favre and the Jets at 1:00 and it should be a doozy. Even with Favre's probable interceptions, the Jets should prove to be the Titans biggest challenge so far. For once I'll be rooting for the Jets, as perfection is bor...
Joey Porter Refuses To Stop Talking
Everyone's favorite batshit crazy linebacker, Joey Porter, has graced us with some words of wisdom yet again. In an interview with the South Florida Sun Sentinel, Porter pleads his case on behalf of Michael Vick and pit bulls. When asked if Vick should get a second chance, Porter replied: ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you take the turducken to glorious new heights ... • College Basketball: Coaches vs. Cancer Classic Final: Michigan vs. Duke (7:00 p.m., ET) What's not to like? [ESPN2] • NBA: Houston Rockets at Washington Wizards (7:00 p.m., ET) Wax Arenas should be good 15 and 5. [ESPN] • Colle...
Ron Artest Speaks the Awful, Unvarnished Truth
It's pretty rare to have an interview with Ron Artest that isn't entertaining, but the one he did in the latest issue of "King" magazine is unbelievably candid. Writer Thomas Golianopoulos was a former elementary school classmate of Artest's back at P.S. 122 in Astoria Queens, which evidently gave h...
Chicago Magazine Writer Loves Him Some Jay Mariotti
By his own count, Jay Mariotti wrote more than 3,000 columns in his 17 years as a Chicago Sun-Times columnist. But now that that's all over, and being an ESPN jabbering noggin is his main gig now, how does a professional contrarian stay relevant in a world that's swiftly passing him by? By grabbing ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you just admit what a gigantic nerd you are ... • College Basketball: Coaches vs. Cancer Classic: Southern Illinois vs. Duke Blue Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Salukies, Dukies. Dukies, Salukies [ESPN2] • College Football: Miami Hurricanes vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (7:30 p.m., ET)...
Jamboroo, Week 12. Featuring: Fire-Eating Strippers, Hidden Poop Éclairs, and Pornographic Liechtensteinian Christmas Carols
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available right now in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your...
Phil Savage Is Probably Sorry For "F%&# You" Email To Fan
Well, that didn't take long. Browns GM Phil Savage admitted he did in fact send a nasty email to a fan that was posted here last evening. According to the AP, Browns Coach Romeo Crennel was the one who confirmed: ...
Mike Mussina Calls It A Career
It hasn't been officially announced yet, but Ken Rosenthal is reporting that Mike Mussina will retire this week, ending an 18-year major league career. He pitched in 538 games for the Orioles and Yankees, appeared on five all-stars teams and in 16 postseason series, including 2 World Series, yet if ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you try to avoid being robbed by pirates ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Central Michigan Chippewas (7:00 p.m., ET) I guess Birds and Chips are okay, too. [ESPN2] • NBA: Dallas Mavericks at Houston Rockets (8:00 p.m., ET) I might have some inside info on this game...
Bookie Mom's Big Day And Other Fallout From The Steelers-Chargers Debacle
Since football fans don't have much else to do between Monday and (now) Thursday nights, there's still plenty to talk about when it comes to that crazy Pittsburgh-San Diego game that changed the face of gambling sports for ever. Of course, just because we're talking about it, doesn't mean we're "tal...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you lie awake during your stomach surgery ... • NCAA Men: Richmond Spiders vs. Syracuse Orangemen (6:00 p.m., ET) Have you ever seen a spider eat an orange? [ESPN] • NHL: Minnesota Wild at Pittsburgh Penquins (7:00 p.m., ET) Is this some sort of ice basketball? [Versus] • NCAA Me...
David Wright's Dreaminess Almost Causes Cougar Riot
Page Six is always searching for some way to put Mets' third baseman David Wright in the column and today has finally found a suitable angle to satisfy its gossip-hungry readership: an eyewitness account of Wright almost getting trampled by amorous old ladies. During his annual "Do The Wright Thing"...
Faltering Bills Encouraged By Female Makeout Session
First it was the man and woman getting it on in one of the restrooms, and now this ... as a couple of apparently hot chicks celebrate a Bills touchdown on Monday Night in their own special way. Who would have thought that Ralph Wilson Stadium would be the NFL's hot, sensual love palace? Just what el...
Approaching Inferno Or No Approaching Inferno, We're Getting In Our 18 Holes
What kind of a penalty is that if the wind from the firefighting helicopter blows your ball into the rough? "Tough luck that part of the fairway being on fire, Chuck. But that's where you hit it, and rules are rules." Natural disasters can be so damned inconvenient sometimes, especially when the she...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get hammered with your parents in Wisconsin ... • NCAA Men: Preseason NIT: Eastern Michigan at Purdue Boilermakers (7:00 p.m., ET) I could a use a boilermaker myself right now. [ESPN2] • NHL: Boston Bruins at Toronto Maple Leafs (7:30 p.m., ET) Did you know that Maple Leafs d...
Finally; Rosie Perez Arrives To Explain This NFL Tie Business
The more I hear about it, the more convinced I am that this Eagles-Bengals tie quote is going to be Donovan McNabb's legacy; like Chris Webber's time out with none remaining, or the ground ball through Buckner's wickets. I'm not saying that's fair, it's just the way it's gonna be. Because when video...
College Football Roundup: Barack Obama's New Southern Strategy
The most interesting thing about this weekend was Barack Obama continuing his jeremiad against the BCS. At first you thought his Monday Night Football interview with Berman was probably just a flippant aside. But now he's carried the anti-BCS flame into office and laid out an 8-team playoff plan. Al...