ti Page 1882 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Christian Okoye Would Like You To Walk His Plank
The Fanhouse has our favorite story of the day: Former Chiefs running back/bulldozer Christian Okoye is appearing on a CBS reality show called "Pirate Master." (We didn't know "master" was a rank of pirate, but whatever.) Here's the synopsis:...

Jay Gibbons Has Amazing Aim On His Foul Balls
Could spousal abuse be a stepping stone to career advancement? Hey, ask Brett Myers. (Or Bobby Cox, for that matter.)...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. NCAA Lax w/Quint Kessenich: Do you get extra points for catching butterflies? • 1:30 p.m. NASCAR driver Kurt Busch: Why are the only questions coming from Jimmy Spencer? • 2 p.m. MLS w/Rev's Steve Ralston: Will Randy Moss be req...

ESPN Trots Out The Barbaro Crazies Again
We have enjoyed, in this week of Barbaro remembrance, the new focus on the kind, not-at-all-unbalanced souls who worship at the altar of the great lost champion, the ones we've been following with somewhat concerned fascination over the last year. Without fail, every reporter who talks to the Dee Mi...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Football draft expert Mel Kiper: As if the anal retentive coverage of the draft itself wasn't enough, now we need further examination of Michael Okwo's Superprep rating? • 2 p.m. Pro boxer Oscar De La Hoya: May 5 is not your nig...

Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for tonight's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NBA senior writer Marc Stein: Is that a thunderstick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? • 11:15 a.m. Baseball with Joe Morgan: WTF are you talking about? • 4 p.m. Boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr.: Because we haven't s...

Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...

Randy Moss To The Patriots. We Still Don't Believe It.
As we await the inevitable Bill Simmons column about this — Five Tool Tool goes ahead and sums it up for us — we continue to watch our mind boggle over the notion of Randy Moss playing for the Patriots. We've never found Moss as annoying as, say, Terrell Owens, but he's hardly what we think of when ...

You Can't Stop Barbaro, You Can Only Hope To Put Him Down
Expect, in the next week, Madison Square Garden to be haunted by the ghost of a rather pissed Barbaro; the overtime in the Rangers-Sabres game yesterday caused the Barbaro documentary to be postponed and rescheduled for the vastly unworthy CNBC this Friday. Jeez, why don't you just put the damned th...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NBA Insider John Hollinger: So is Mark Cuban shitting actual bricks right now, and if so, will they be on eBay? • 2 p.m. Boxer Wladimir Kitschko: How many times have you seen Red Heat? • 3 p.m. Fantasy Injury Focus: Is Griffey's anus o...

Bruce Willis Likes Him Some Jersey Beer
We are sad to report to Action Movie Star Bruce Willis that just because the television station interviewing you is Canadian doesn't mean you can't start throwing out your handy R-rated movie catchphrases, no matter how blasted you are....

For Some Reason, The Titans Must Feel Undermanned In The Secondary
With the 19th pick of the NFL Draft, the Tennessee Titans select Michael Griffin, S, Texas. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

When The Bengals Make A Pick, He Gets A Bengals Hat And An Ankle Bracelet
With the 18th pick of the NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select Leon Hall, CB, Michigan. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

Justin Harrell Is Not A Toy That Favre Can Play With
With the 16th pick of the NFL Draft, the Green Bay Packers select Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

If He's Half As Crazy As Joey Porter, The Steelers Drafted Well
With the 15th pick in the NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida State. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy league injuries: Do Griffey's recent problems count? Ow, my anus! • 11 a.m. Olympian J. Joyner-Kersee: Which make better weapons while riding the St. Louis Metrolink; gold or silver medals? • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Ne...

Lakers Make It Just Interesting Enough To Ultimately Disappoint
In a way, we kind of agree with what Free Darko wrote in their playoff preview for us: This could end up being the one playoff series in which, if the Lakers lose, Kobe Bryant might get a pass. But he's not gonna be able to pull it off if the Lakers, you know, actually make it close. A four-game swe...