ti Page 1908 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That, Friends, Is A Lot Of Funk
In a world of uncertainty, the dancing fat man is a distinct pleasure worth cherishing. Do not underestimate the dancing fat Clemson fan: He's, in fact, quite nimble. You might think it cheap and/or easy, but we value the fundamental certainty of gyrating flab, and we think you probably should too....
Cultural Oddsmaker: The Irish Menace Of The Ryder Cup
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to say hi....
Must Be Sittin' In The Front Row!
Earlier this week, we heard rumors of a fan and his girlfriend / wife / mistress / crossdresser, while in the top level of the mostly empty RFK Stadium, uh, enjoying themselves in a way that you can't exactly enjoy yourself in the crowded Yankee Stadium bleachers. We weren't going to run anything ab...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Contender's Steve Forbes: Did Stallone show up on the set even once? (Frank Stallone doesn't count). • 3 p.m. FFB Injuries with Will Carroll: I think if I bench Kevin Jones this week, it will inspire him to play harder for my tea...
"The Orioles Are Not An Asbestos Lawsuit!"
So the big Orioles protest went down yesterday, and, on the whole, the organizers — disappointingly, a radio station — have to be pleased with the coverage. "SportsCenter" had a short segment on the "Free The Birds" business, though The Washington Post is oddly muted in the paper this morning....
"Game Of Shadows" Authors - Respect - Work Ethic - Investigative Skills - Actual Threat Of Jail + Douchebaggery = Mariotti!
It was with considerable amusement that we read Jay Mariotti's column in the Chicago Sun-Times today. (Yes, yes, Jay, by writing about you, we're just making you more famous. It is our curse!)...
Only Fake Porn Can Make The Ryder Cup Worthwhile
We're not really sure why we're supposed to care about the Ryder Cup. First off, it's golf: It's the furthest thing from a team sport, and no matter how hard they try to convince us that we're rooting for "America," it's hard to inspire enthusiasm to root for the home country to avoid the bunkers wh...
Get Down To Camden To, Like, Protest And Stuff
Somewhere near Camden Yards, right now, there is a lonely protestor, looking for his or her fellow protestors, hoping he or she doesn't make a wrong turn. It is Baltimore, after all....
Chad Johnson, Perhaps Unaware Of His Surroundings
So remember that hit Chad Johnson took at the end of the Bengals-Browns game last week? Well, over at The Fanhouse, the omnipotent Mighty MJD found the video of Johnson's postgame "discussion" with reporters. We think maybe he wasn't quite ready for an interview yet....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Ryder Cup with Jason Sobel: Hmm. I guess everyone had to start somewhere, huh? • 2 p.m. MLS with Marcelo Balboa: Rocky's less-famous younger brother. • 4 p.m. Football Scientist KC Joyner: Damn you! Why didn't you warn the Sain...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m.: Baseball with Joe Morgan: Hey, didn't you also sign 300 baseballs with the inscription "Sorry For Being a Bonds Apologist."? • Noon. NBA 2010 with Marc Spears: In the distant future of four years from now, all players will be ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA 2010 w/ Brian Windhorst: Oh Christ, what's ESPN up to now? Well, whatever it is, you can bet the Knicks still haven't won their division. • 1 p.m. Clemson RB James Davis: Wanna buy a Heisman, cheap? • 4 p.m. NFL with Pro Foot...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Cold Pizza's Skip Bayless: So many questions, so little rotten fruit. • 4 p.m. Fantasy Football Focus: Wasn't your last comment, "Your team sucks and you are doomed," a little harsh? • 4 p.m. Baseball With Gary Gillette: Doesn't...
A Day At Paul Brown Stadium
So, we are sad to report that we did not make it to Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's dramatic interpretation of the chicken dance at Cincinnati's Oktoberfest on Saturday afternoon; we figured by the time we actually made it downtown, we'd be too far away to see anything but the tip of Johnson's ...
"I Get That Old Lovin' Feelin'... Every Time I See Jim Leyland"
Your pennant run is not legitimate until Jeff Daniels makes a YouTube music video about you. A musical masterpiece, it is not. A song that will get you fired up, it also is not. What it is, is... well... I don't know what the hell it is, but it probably made Jeff Daniels feel better about himself....
Nothing Says "Sloth" Like A Long College Football Saturday
As has been established, tomorrow is a day for much gluttony/sloth/greed/skinny ladies' head in the box: seven pretty outstanding college football games. And no, we're not referring to Syracuse-Illinois. We are actually offended that the game is on television....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Do you realize that all it's gonna take is one Pauly Shore boxing movie to finally push your sport to extinction? • 3 p.m. FFB Injuries w/Will Carroll: A full hour of sobbing and bitter regret, punctuated...
Taking One ... "Yeoooowwww, Kelly Clarkson!" ... For the Team
What with the price of gas and all, there apparently isn't a lot to do over at the Basney Honda in South Bend, Ind. So co-workers told Jason Gordon that they would chip in and get him two tickets to the Notre Dame-Michigan game, and all Gordon had to do to earn them was get a full body wax. Irish fa...
See, We Weren't Making It Up
So remember the Bubba Bobble Challenge Sex Doll Races tournament, in which the guy was disqualified for — get THIS! — having sex with his "raft?"...
You Need Jay Mariotti On That Wall
You see, the thing is, folks, Jay Mariotti is not a puffy blowhard who screams schtick into a camera and then types full-throated, half-conceptualized ripjob columns as fast as possible while complaining that Ozzie Guillen mock raped him in the shower (or something) ... that's all just an anti-Mario...