ti Page 1914 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Bengal Gets The Taser
In their ongoing quest to become Blazers East, the Cincinnati Bengals have seen another member of their football team get arrested. And DT Matthias Askew has done it in grand style, somehow managing to get tasered after a parking violation. I am applauding politely....
Reggie Bush Doesn't Care About Black People
Because the people of New Orleans haven't been through enough, Reggie Bush and his agent are threatening to sit out the season and re-enter the 2007 NFL Draft. Saints training camp opens up on Thursday, and Bush isn't likely to be there. He might stop by for a quick photo op, but he won't actuall...
Tiger Woods Wins One For Earl
It's hard to muster up too much sarcasm after Tiger's victory at Royal Liverpool this morning. He tapped in for par on the 18th to secure his 11th professional major, gave a primal fist pump, and then broke down crying in his caddie's arms, thinking surely of how his father wouldn't be there to gi...
Sergio Garcia Tries To Break The Duck
Despite Tiger Woods being awarded the British Open title yesterday afternoon by Pat Forde, the rest of the field decided to show up and play today anyway. And Tiger still does have the lead, but just by a stroke. Sergio Garcia shot a course record-tying 65 today to get himself to within 1 of Tiger...
Tiger Woods, Back To Normal
As Tiger Woods soars to the top of the British Open leaderboard, doing what he can to re-establish his dominance of the sport, we are pleased to see that he has still not learned how to avoid the awkward high-five. That's just simply Tiger being Tiger....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m.. EA Sports' Kendall Boyd: Wait ... my joystick's not working ... • 3 p.m.. UFC champion Tim Sylvia: Ever gouged out a guy's eye and then hit him with a log? • 4 p.m.. Texas Tech WR Joel Filani: Think you're going to beat Alabam...
The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the char...
Boy, This Busch Stadium Place Is Great
Five minutes before first pitch at 7:05 at Busch Stadium last night, all was well. We were sitting in the bleachers with our father and our fiancee, scorebook and four pens in hand, watching David Eckstein toss pop-ups with a kid who had won some contest. It was hot, but it had been hot all week, ...
We Have To Ask
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ......
Please Don't Make Us Lonely In July
Forgive this trifle of self-indulgence, but after our brutal sojourn at Busch Stadium is completed, we're heading back toward our home plains of Illinois. Anybody out there fortunate enough to be so near miles of corn is invited to join us....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m.. NFL with Gary Horton: Who did the latest 49ers stadium plans, Tim Burton? • Noon.. NBA with Ric Bucher: Screw everything; I'm predicting Allen Iverson will go to the Warriors. • 5 p.m.. Poker with Bernard Lee: My "tell" is tha...
Get Drunk With ESPN
We've been waiting for someone to come up with a definitive ESPN drinking game, and even though this might not be the definitive one, it's pretty close. Here's a fun "Pardon The Interruption" sampling:...
Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Boxer Ray Mancini: To your knowledge, are you the only person on the ESPN payroll whom people call "Boom-Boom"? We mean, besides, Berman? • 2 p.m. NCAA hoops w/Kyle Whelliston: Bally! We've missed you, you little round bastard!...
One Final Monday-Cooper Explosion ... Be Ready
So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Baseball with Jerry Crasnick: It's so rare that I get an opportunity to discuss Royals' pitcher Ambiorix Burgos before lunch. • 1 p.m. Contender winner Sergio Mora: So, is there a Mrs. "Latin Snake?" • 4 p.m. IRL's Firestone 20...
Wayne Rooney Has A Book
England and Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has penned an autobiography. And even though he's just 20 years old and doesn't look like the brightest guy around, I find the fact that Rooney has an autobiography way less ridiculous than the fact that Terrell Owens has two. Some tidbits from Wa...
Maybe They Should've Done This Before The Free Agency Period Started
The Boston Celtics have finally gotten around to putting together their first-ever dance team. Apparently, they're just going to call them the "Celtics Dancers," which is unfortunate. I was holding out hope for something like "The Paul Pierce Pleasure Crew," or "The Girls of Scalabrine's Weenie." ...
So Much For A Colorblind Society
The Baltimore Orioles were set to have a Brian Roberts bobblehead giveaway today, but there was a bit of a snafu. 20,000 bobbleheads showed up on their doorstep, and they opened them to find that the Brian Roberts doll had much darker skin than the actul Brian Roberts....
It Just Keeps Giving
I'm afraid I gave you only part of the story with the earlier Mike Cooper post. Carl Monday has gotten himself involved again, and where there's Carl Monday, there's more story....