ti Page 1915 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an or...
The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of....
"Leon ... POWE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So we haven't been watching much summer league basketball, if just because the only local games on around these parts are the Knicks, and honestly, if we wanted to watch a snuff film, we'd just go see the new M. Night Shyamalan movie....
Apparently Student Athletes Have It Easier Than Us
We once showed up for a lecture hall study session for an economics class of about 200 people at the University of Illinois, sitting next to a friend of ours who was much better about attending class than we were. As people filed in, an older man sat next to us and asked, "Hey, is this the Econ 10...
Reds Fans Not Handling Kearns Trade Well
The first big trade of the baseball season went down yesterday, and, to just from the popular reaction, you'd think the Washington Nationals were in wild-card contention and the Cincinnati Reds were selling off. The Reds traded Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez, two of their best young hitters, for a...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Boxer Sugar Ray Leonard: You've been on since 6 a.m. Please, no mas! • 11 a.m. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: We're sure that Bud Selig has plenty of crazy, evil schemes up his sleeve. Superman, we need you! • 4 p.m. NFL with Jeremy ...
Run, You Stupid Linebacker, RUN!
Just to be clear on this, if some guy stabbed us, in a bowling alley or elsewhere, we would never stop crying. We're a bleeder. We would wail and scream and whine and plead and any other verb that connotes sniveling wimpdom....
TBS Knows Baseball, ESPN Hopes Not To Forget
So we're a day late on this, but we wanted to make sure we had all the details correct. As menacingly pointed out during the All-Star Game, FOX has re-upped for the rights to the World Series, Saturday games and one LCS for the next seven years. For Joe Buck and Tim McCarver haters, this is bad ne...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. NFL With Matt Williamson: No offense, sir, but we don't know who you are. • Noon Author Seth Mnookin: Did you feed the monster before you left this morning? • 8 p.m. NASCAR's Jeff Burton: It's hard not to love a man with a spar...
Second Half Preview: American League
OK, before we start: Seriously, this is just the worst sports day of the year. Do you realize we did a post below on bowling? Can we please get back to the games tomorrow? What? No afternoon games? Man!...
Spend The Day With Stephen A. (Kinda)
We all know it's not particularly difficult to get tickets to "Quite Frankly" tapings — a guy we know in New York for the summer has gone three times already, and he's been here, like, a month; we have no idea why he keeps putting himself through this — but that doesn't mean a meet-and-greet with ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Page 2's Bill Simmons: Seriously, when you gonna grow the beard back? • 4 p.m. All-Salary Cap team w/John Clayton: Your bird-like countenance leads me to believe that the field will be made up primarily of players from the Eagle...
Manny Has To Be Involved In This Somehow
It's only been less than two years, but, if this eBay auction can be believed, someone's already selling their Red Sox World Championship ring. We actually went back to check to see if Jose Canseco had some role with this team; he didn't, so it's not him....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Lunch with Buzzmaster: Not exactly like lunch with Ari at Spago, is it? • >B>1 p.m.. Boxer "Sugar" Shane Mosley: Is it true that the FDA has changed your nickname to "Whole Grain and Nuts" Shane Mosley? • 3 p.m. NHL with Scott Bu...
Baseball Players Wiping Each Other Down
After half-heartedly flipping back and forth between the Home Run Derby and doing some lingering DVR maintenance — new, kind of depressing "Chappelle's Show," the "Law & Order" where they see the guy executed and then everyone all loses their minds — we can say one thing about the big made for TV ...
We Have To Ask ... Special Bud Selig Edition
Tomorrow afternoon, baseball commissioner Bud Selig will host a live chat with fans from the All-Star Game festivities in Pittsburgh. The chat isn't live, necessarily, considering you can submit your questions a day early. But Selig will be there, probably, and it's possible his typist might even ...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m.: NCAA FB With Joe Schad. Do you think Woody Hayes ever had a GHB dosage problem too, like Frank Solich? How about Schembechler? • 1 p.m.: Lightweight champ Juan Diaz. Do you think we could beat up a flyweight guy? Those guys ru...
Go Crazy, Folks
The reverberations from minor league manager Joe Mikulik's impassioned freak out last month are still being felt — and will continue to be until the beginning of September. The crafty promotions team of the Augusta (Ga.)Green Jackets is preparing for when Mikulik's Asheville (N.C.) Tourists come t...
Lick Your Lips And Prepare To Enjoy Ozzie Guillen
Ozzie Guillen: Gay community icon? He's on his way, as an alternative lifestyle supper club in Chicago has named a drink after the Jay Mariotti-bashing manager of the White Sox. And by the way; white socks with black shoes? How tacky, Chicago. From the Chicago Sun-Times:...
Eddie Griffin's Odd Film Choices
In case you were in desperate need of some of the inside details of the Eddie Griffin masturbating in his car story — and, obviously, you were, because what person in his right mind isn't? — the official PDF version of the complaint in the lawsuit against him has been released. Our personal favori...