ti Page 1955 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

In Which We Channel Our Inner Roger Ebert
MSNBC is ranking the five worst movie performances by an athlete-turned actor, to which we say, is there really any need to go beyond Kazaam? Apparently there is, and so we also get Wilt Chamberlain in Conan the Destroyer, Roosevelt Grier in The Glove, Dennis Rodman in Double Team and Mitch Gaylord ...

Golfers, Getting Huge
MJD told you a little about this weekend, and it's certainly been discussed, but damn: Tiger Woods is really freaking jacked all of a sudden. It has some wondering whether Tiger's appearance is what inspired the PGA to finally instate steroid testing, just a few days after the U.S. Open and after ye...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL with Jeffrey Chadiha: Girdle pads ... OK to wear to the movies? • 2 p.m. MLS w/Chivas MF Sacha Kljestan: I will look upon your treasures, gypsy. This is understood? • 4 p.m. Football scientist KC Joyner: You fool, that's too ...

About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....

Police Make It Rain On Pac Man
So much for Pac Man Jones just being an innocent bystander in that strip club shooting ... he's been formally charged with two counts of felony coercion....

Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...

Tim Floyd Likes Them Young
Since not every recruit can be OJ Mayo and just show up at your doorstep, USC coach Tim Floyd has had to get creative over the last two years. So, for the second season in a row, he has offered a full scholarship to an eighth grader....

The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for tonight's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy MLB w/Tristan Cockcroft. I'm tellin' ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Cockcroft. • 1 p.m. NHL w/Scott Burnside: Hockey puck-shaped Krispy Kremes ... an idea whose time has come? • 3 p.m. FB Recruiting w/Craig Haube...

Elijah Dukes Is On The Air
We hope you weren't trying to get through to WDAE Radio on Tuesday, as various members of the Dukes family had the phone lines jammed pretty much all day. We hate when that happens. Tuesday was Fun Day for Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles over at the Ft. Lauderdale station, as an agitated Elijah Dukes calle...

We Welcome Sam Woods To The Planet
A few months back, our own AJ Daulerio wondered what Tiger Woods would name his impending child. Sadly, Tiger did not go with "Urethra;" instead he went with the boring Sam Alexis Woods. SAW. We suppose it's better than ASS....

We Like The Way He Talks And He Likes The Way We Talk, Mmm Hmm
With the news yesterday that running back Quincy Wilson has become the 10th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested in the past 14 months, we now need the measured, no-nonsense sports commentary of Kige Ramsey more than ever. If you're unfamiliar, just think of him as the Jason Whitlock of Youtube ... if, ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11:15 a.m. MLB with Joe Morgan: You know, with Bob Barker gone, there's an opening on a certain game show. Interested? • 2 p.m. True Hoop's Henry Abbott: You think ESPN might hire Harold to do a baseball blog? • 3 p.m. NASCAR with Terr...

And Suddenly, Figure Skating Is Fun Again
Just in case you haven't heard, Kristy Swanson was arrested Saturday night in Kingston, Ont. after a fight with Marcia O'Brien, who is the ex-wife of Canadian figure skater Lloyd Eisler. Swanson is dating Eisler. People magazine has the details, of course, and says that O'Brien filed a complaint, le...

Why Would The Orioles Ever Need To Make A Change?
We don't mean to imply that it might be a tough time for Cubs fans, but now their executives are jumping ship to the Orioles....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Buster Olney: Wait, you mean that yourself and Chipper Jones aren't cartoon squirrels? • 2 p.m. AFL's Crush QB John Dutton: Football and air conditioning ... as God intended? • 3 p.m. NASCAR driver Kurt Busch: Could the...

You Know, You Think You Know A Guy
One would think that, after all that's gone down with him over the past year or so, Pac Man Jones would steer clear of the following things:...

It's Good To Have A Golf Champion Actually Look Like A Golfer
Like most casual golf fans in America, we spent most of the day yesterday away from the television but curious if Tiger Woods was going to win the U.S. Open. A victory by anyone else would elicit a shrug; a victory by Tiger would somehow matter more, as if we're enough of an expert in golf to unders...

Ah, Screw Birdies
If you got points for impressive pars, it would've been Tiger Woods' day ... but the man couldn't squeeze a birdie out of his Sunday round to save his life. Angel Cabrera, who shot a very impressive 69, is your winner. Oh well. I'm sure he has a dad, too....

The Alternative To The 11-Foot Rim
Seems like everyone wants to play on an unsually-elevated rim today. This is nice, but ... I prefer the 11-foot alternative to this one. I wouldn't want to live in a world where these guys are NBA Superstars....