ties Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do Any Couples Actually Have A Celebrity Cheat List?
It’s possible that the idea of a Celebrity Cheat List—five or so famous people that otherwise monogamous couples give a free pass on—predates season 3 episode 5 of Friends, aka The One With Frank Jr., aka the one where Ross meets Isabella Rossellini after opting not to put her on his list. But that’...
NFL Demands Retraction From <i>New York Times</i>
The NFL is still all worked up about that New York Times story that revealed the league’s initial studies on the link between football and CTE to have been based on bunk data. They’re so worked up, in fact, that the league’s lawyers sent a letter to the Times, demanding retraction while making vague...
The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia ...
The Caucasian's Guide To Talking About Race
A few months ago, I was honored to be invited to the October Secret Global White People Meeting to speak to their constituents about wearing blackface on Halloween. Apparently, I made such an impact that they recently requested a return engagement to address a less holiday-oriented topic. The follow...
How To Party Without Drinking
About two years ago, I quit drinking. Initially, I didn’t attempt to “mask” my teetotalism at social gatherings: I’d meet a group at a bar, never order anything, and give long-winded answers to anyone who asked why. As my friends and coworkers can attest, it can be awkward as hell being stone-cold s...
Manny Pacquiao Is Sorry For Saying Gay People Are Worse Than Animals, Is Still A Shitbag
Manny Pacquiao has long been a homophobic buster, a failing that carries much more weight given the fact that he is a sitting (if mostly absent) congressman in his native Philippines. He is now running for a seat in the country’s senate, and thus ramped up his anti-gay rhetoric during a recent telev...
Why Is The NFL Giving More Super Bowl Ad Time To Its Favorite Sham Domestic-Violence Group?
I took the No More pledge last year. What do I have to show for it? I’m now very aware of when #NOMOREexcuses Law & Order: Special Victims Unit marathons are about to air, but that’s about it. I don’t know much more about domestic violence or sexual assault. I haven’t discovered new organizations wo...
New England Patriots Suffering From BSOD
Microsoft has been on a season-long campaign to make sure you know the tablet computers on NFL sidelines are their Surface models, not iPads. Like most Microsoft products, the Surface tablets are crashing—at least those on the New England sideline. Money well-spent, Microsoft....
Can You Identify The "Celebrities" Who Will Be Coaching The NHL All-Star Game?
The NHL added a little wrinkle to its (very cool!) new All-Star Game structure. The four 3-on-3 squads representing each division will be coached by an actual NHL coach (Gerard Gallant, Lindy Ruff, Darryl Sutter, and Barry Trotz) as well as, uh, well, hmm, one of ... these guys above here?...
Jon Chait Can't Stop Wringing His Hands Over Paying College Athletes
New York Magazine’s Jonathan Chait, who has been humping the increasingly ridiculous argument that college athletes should not be paid for years, is running out of ideas....
Stan Kroenke Will Never Care About You
The thing that always strikes me about people’s reactions to the general fuckery carried out by pro sports owners is the genuine disbelief. You look at some galactically rich piece of puddy asking taxpayers to build him a new stadium and you can’t help but ask, “Is this guy fucking serious?” You see...
Report: Chip Kelly Was Fired In Part Because He Messed Up The Eagles' Holiday Party
Holiday parties are a wonderful time of the year where you can get drunk with your coworkers, contract gonorrhea from them, or in Chip Kelly’s case, hurry on your pending unemployment. CBS’ Jason La Canfora has a report from the aftermath of Kelly’s firing by the Philadelphia Eagles, and it’s pretty...
Alex DeBrincat Earns Game Misconduct For Spearing
The U.S. is currently taking on Canada at the IIHF world juniors in Finland, and the Yanks will have to play the final two periods without potential NHL first-rounder Alex DeBrincat after the Michigan native delivered his stick blade straight into Flyers prospect Travis Konecny’s gut. Go USA!...
Dalton Prout Given Double-Minor, So One Minute For Each Cross-Check
Columbus Blue Jackets defenseman Dalton Prout let loose this vicious series of cross-checks late in the third period of a 5-2 loss to the Penguins. This is no inadvertent penalty or being a bit overzealous; it’s straight-up assault on Sergei Plotnikov....
Gifts For Your Holiday-Party Host (Besides Booze)
Inevitably, you’ve got a holiday party or two left to attend (unless you wriggle your way out of it), and it’s only right to bring something for the host. Booze is the easy option, and it’s by no means a faux pas as far as gifts go. But it’s also the lazy option, so here, we offer you some more crea...
The Caucasian’s Guide To Black Holiday Gatherings
With the rise in interracial dating and cross-cultural friendships, you may be one of the lucky few white people who get invited to a black family dinner during the holidays. And while our previous guides to black barbecues and black churches laid a template, the dynamic of our family holiday gather...
How Stupid Do The 'Skins Think We Are?
On Sunday, some social media manager got his or her Twitter accounts mixed up and made it abundantly clear that the @redskinsfacts account, allegedly run by a “growing online community of passionate Washington Redskins fans and others who support the team’s use of its name and logo,” is in fact bein...
Tell Us About Your Holiday Party Mishaps
Many of you may be having office holiday parties today, so let me start by asking: What are you wearing? I can’t decide. In any case, company holiday parties—and holiday parties in general—always end with remarkably un-festive stories. Someone makes out with someone they shouldn’t, the HR guy gets d...
What To Wear To Your Company Christmas Party
Your company Christmas party is your annual opportunity to look your holiday best in front of your coworkers, or at least show the people you see every day that you own more than two shirts. You may agonize over your attire. But I’m here to tell you to do the opposite of what you’ve been told. Don’t...