The sound the ball makes when it rockets off the back of Tebow’s batting helmet is startlingly, frighteningly loud:

Brawny baseball monk Tim Tebow will reportedly not join the Mets in 2017, according to general manager Sandy Alderson, howling skyward with raised, clenched fists:

Freshly promoted to high Class-A baseball, Tim Tebow has been hitting the ball better than ever before. In his previous stop with the low Class-A Columbia Fireflies, he hit just .220. The former QB is hitting .326 at the moment with the St. Lucie Mets, and this evening he produced his most sanctified highlight of his…

Anthony DiComo of MLB.com is reporting the New York Mets are promoting Tim Tebow from Columbia to Class A St. Lucie, because he is a very good baseball man.

Tim Tebow, who used to be a bad NFL player and is now a bad minor-league baseball player with the Columbia Fireflies, took some ribbing from the Charleston RiverDogs this past weekend. Now the RiverDogs are very sorry about it.

Here we have brawny sports heartthrob Tim Tebow losing his grip on a bat and yanking it 30 rows into the stands in Charleston, South Carolina: 

Tim Tebow, former football player and current brand/alleged baseball player, is hanging out with the Single-A Columbia fireflies before he inevitably goes on TV full-time. He’s done some productive baseball stuff with the Fireflies and might even get moved up at some point this season. Tebow is hitting .211 with an…

On the same day the New York Post runs a cover asking “Why does God hate the Mets?”, they have this extremely related story claiming that Tim Tebow could be in for a promotion.

Here is an excerpt from The MMQB’s big feature about Tim Tebow attempting to become a baseball player. I haven’t been able to read the rest of the story, because as soon as I read this part my eyes rolled so far into the back of my head that now all I can see is my own brain stem:

Tim Tebow, author and former college football quarterback, kicked off his time with the class-A Columbia Fireflies this evening with a bang. The motivational speaker stepped up to the plate against the Augusta Greenjackets and socked a dinger in his very first at-bat.

Mets farmhand Tim Tebow started at left field this afternoon in a spring training game against the Nationals and their ace Max Scherzer. Tebow will begin the season playing Class A ball with the Columbia Fireflies, but he’ll finish up spring training with the Mets, where he’s been having some issues with major league…

So poor lil Tim Tebow, the world-famous football refugee and circumcision doer now trying his hand at baseball, prepared for his first spring-training plate appearance for the New York Mets yesterday by doddering all the way around behind home plate, from the third-base dugout to the first-base side, to take his…

At the start of the bottom of the third inning, New York Mets designated hitter Tim Tebow left the dugout to get some warm-up swings in before stepping into the box. But, strangely, he walked all the way around behind the plate—from the Mets dugout on the third-base side to the on-deck circle in front of the visitors’…

Tim Tebow isn’t a major-league ballplayer, and he isn’t a pro ballplayer in any but the barest, most literal sense. Certainly, if he weren’t famous for playing football and for not having been aborted, no one anywhere would pay him money to play baseball. Look at this shit!

Tim Tebow did a good, brave thing today and if no one else will stand with him, then this blog will: There is no sin in eating guacamole straight. Praise him.

By pretty much any and every baseball metric, aspiring outfielder Timothy R. Tebow did not have a successful stint in the Arizona Fall League. His .194 batting average (.242 slugging) included 20 strikeouts in 70 plate appearances. But when it comes to attracting interest (guilty) in otherwise meaningless games,…

Before he turned into a full-on salesperson with a struggling baseball career, Tim Tebow was briefly a New England Patriot. He was on the team for most of the summer of 2013, but he got cut before the season started. Tebow, fresh off a middling spell in the Arizona Fall League, is now promoting his second book, …

Jesus walked on water; Tim Tebow walked off against the Mesa Solar Sox. Tebow’s minor league career has thus far been marked by miracles, a marked inability to hit the baseball, and a minor injury, but tonight, he slapped a walk-off single for the Scottsdale Scorpions. 

Tim Tebow performed a great feat today, reaching base twice against the Peoria Javelinas. He hit a single in his first at-bat, and he now somehow has a three-game hitting streak. Tebow reached on a fielder’s choice in the fourth, then tried to steal second.

And on the fifth day, his batting average rose again.