tna Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cowboys QB Jon Kitna Doesn't Think You're "A Real Man" If You're Totally Into Laptop Porn
So, the XXX Church, a non-profit that seeks "to help people of all ages who are being assaulted by pornography," has apparently renamed Feb. 6 "Porn Sunday."...

Jon Kitna's Nipples Lead Cowboys To Second Win
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Major Iconography Of The NFL, In One Image: Cowboys, Pepsi, Jesus
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tony Romo Is Probably Done For The Season
Romo broke his left collarbone in the second quarter against the Giants tonight after taking a hit from Michael Boley. The Cowboys are 1-4 and are now down 38-20 in the fourth quarter. Okay, Jon Kitna. It's all yours....

Barely Hanging On Wrestler Of The Week: Scott Hall
Hey yo. Scott Hall (looking great these days, as his mug shot shows) was arrested in a Florida bar for, well, being a drunken belligerent mess....

Porn, Pancakes, Jon Kitna And Jesus: Go Ahead, Rank Them. You Can't.
Some lucky parishioners got a visit from Jon Kitna at a very special breakfast yesterday, called "Porn And Pancakes: NFL Style." It's precisely nothing like you're imagining....

Niche Sport Gets Basic Cable Benefactor
Desperately in need of cash, the U.S. speedskating team has turned to that living embodiment of everything that is right and good about America: Stephen Colbert....

Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....

Tiger Woods: Winner Of Own AT & T National Tournament, Budding Comedian
Another great day for Gillette spokespeople: Tiger Woods wins the 2009 AT &T National, Federer won Wimbledon, and Jeter hit a walkoff. Since it's Tiger's tournament, he's the only one who got to interview himself. .[Waggle Room]...

Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "I know a cat named Way Out Willy."...

Georgia Gym Dogs: Resistance Is Futile
Here are four members of the University of Georgia women's gymnastics squad, perhaps the greatest college sports dynasty you've never heard of, and certainly more flexible than Wooden's UCLA basketball teams....

The Phillies Dedicate The Pre-Game Smoke To Harry The K
At least, I hope that's the case. Phillies are playing Nationals right now with heavy hearts, wheezing lungs. [Player Hater's Ball]...

Here Are Your Juicy Details From The Kendra Wilkinson Media Blitz
The lovely Kendra Wilkinson has been more ubiquitous than ever this week, showing up on multiple radio shows and a People Magazine interview. Highlight: WFAN asked her who was better in bed; Hef, or Hank Baskett?...

Today's Special On The DVD Aisle: Secondhand Lions
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......


Jon Kitna Has Good Reasons To Love God
After the Lions' loss to the Packers yesterday, reporters asked Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna what he was thankful for. As everybody now knows, Kitna wears his Christianity on his sleeve. And we really have no problem with that....

Fabregasted!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Let's just say I was due. If Martina Hingis had wandered onto my London flight naked and slathered in Toblerone, rocking a gram of cocaine and offering to induct me into her Mile High Club, I still would have been due. It wasn't even the hour...

Who's Sorry Now? Naked Coach Edition
If there's one thing you learn as a kid, it's that you never apologize for your Halloween costume. Hey, it's Halloween ... shit happens. Just ignore the critics and move on. But now Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna says he is very sorry for dressing as naked assistant Lions coach Joe Cullen, and would ...

The Only Time Jon Kitna Has Ever Been Naked In Public
We're a little behind on this, but it's awfully amusing, particularly because it's Halloween. Lions quarterback Jon Kitna apparently has a better sense of humor than you might have thought....