to-watch Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as, somewhere out there, Russell Crowe is beating up a guy ... • College FB: Utah at TCU. Yeah, we're wearing a Horned Frogs beer helmet. What of it? • WNBA Finals: Sacramento at Connecticut. Quick, what are the two team nicknames? Oh, time's up. • MLB: Marlins at Astros. Andy Pettitte...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your children file for emancipation ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Yanks try to win a series, finally, over last-place Tampa Bay. • WNBA Finals: Sacramento Monarchs vs. Connecticut Sun. Admit it, you're pumped. • MLB: Brewers at Diamondbacks. Milwaukee (72-72, NL Central) 20 game...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as aggressive Jehovah's Witnesses surround the house and lob in The Watchtower ... • MLB: Yankees at Devil Rays. Tampa Bay only 24 1/2 games out, and Yanks might as well be. • MLS: D.C. United at Dallas. Because domestic soccer is your life (sad, really). • MLB: Pirates at Cardinals. C...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your hairline recedes considerably faster than the New Orleans floodwater ... • MLB: Padres at Giants. Barry throws down his crutches, returns to lineup. • Pickup basketball: NBA players' Hurricane Relief Game. • MNF: Eagles at Falcons. That lovable Terrell Owens plucks at your hear...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as elves cobble shoes in the tiny sweatshop you've constructed in the garage ... • MLB: Red Sox at Yankees. Apparently there's some sort of rivalry. • Reno 911: Washington State at Nevada football. Take the over. • MLB: Mets at Cardinals. The best team in baseball versus, well, the Met...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge The Remote From The Dog ... • MLB: Rays at Yankees. Raise that threat level to red — Stenbrenner's about to blow. • That time you got comically tangled in the net should not detract from your enjoyment of the U.S. Open. • MLB: Mets at Braves. Because ESPN 2 cou...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the price of gas exceeds the price of real estate ... • NFL: Giants at Patriots. It's the final exhibition game, so expect to see a lot of QB Jared Lorenzen. • College football: Central Florida Cannon Fodder at South Carolina Spurriers. • MLB: Tigers at White Sox. One of these teams...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch After You've Been Cut By The Denver Broncos ... • MLB: A's at Angels. Doesn't it seem that these teams play each other every day? • WNBA Playoffs. The excitement is palpable.* • U.S. Open tennis. Hey, why is the court blue? * = may not be true....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Instead Of Endless Hurricane News ... • Monday Night (Exhibition) Football: Rams at Lions. Remember when they wore the yellow sportscoats with the circle on the pockets? We're wearing one now. • MLB: Dodgers at Cubs. Look ... all the Chicago players are vomiting milk. • U.S. Open, Day ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Remembering That Tonight's Yet Another Anniversary Of A Breakup ... · Toronto Blue Jays at New York Yankees. You know how they used to say every egg you ate took five minutes off your life. We think Yankees losses are like that with George Steinbrenner, except it's like an hour. ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Secretely Believing Your iPod Is Trying To Kill You · Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals. Tomorrow night, we will be at Busch Stadium. Tonight, we'll be putting together shelves. Tomorrow wins. · New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots. When ESPN Classic repeats this ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge Your Remote From The Dog ... · 2005 World Series of Poker: Watch that river flop! OK, we have no idea what that means. · Little League Softball: Pssst: The kid with the beard is juicing. · Collegetowns: Life In College Football: Yeah, they're just looking for s...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as groundhogs destroy your home's foundation ... · ESPN football: Chargers at Packers. Drew Brees, a jug of wine and thou. · Those incredible homers over at TBS present San Francisco Giants at Atlanta Braves. · WNBA: Minnesota Lynx at Detroit Shock. When they were naming this team, we ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as those Queer Eye guys attempt to make you somewhat less repulsive ... · Rockies at Giants. Look, if one of you isn't above .500 by Aug. 15, we're cancelling the NL West. · Hobbit boxing (some call it the featherweight division): Ramirez vs. Smalls. · WNBA: Connecticut Suns at NY Libe...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch in lieu of interaction with loved ones ... · Marlins at Cardinals. New MLB rule: Following any home run, player must complete drug test before runs will count. · Darts: World Championships. Men who spend most of their time in pubs will test their skill as ow! Hey, that wasn't funny! · ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the tattoo removal guy lasers her name from your arm, and, finally, your heart ... · Tigers at Athletics. Detroit's Sean Douglass, pride of the Toledo Mud Hens, tries to go 4-0. · Weetabix Cereal Women's British Open. Servings per container: 1. Calories: 0. · Pugilism: Lubwana vs. T...