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Here's The AOL Column That Got Bill Simmons Hired By ESPN, In Which He Calls The ESPYs A "TV Holocaust"
ESPN's initial courtship of Bill Simmons has the air of an urban legend. Simmons wrote a column excoriating the bloated and self-congratulatory ESPY Awards, and that column was rapidly forwarded around Bristol, putting the Boston Sports Guy on ESPN's radar. Much like Aeschylus's lost plays, the ESPY...
A Tour Of The Terrifying Downhill Ski Course That Will Rip Open Your Pelvis "Like A Book"
At first glance, the Hahnenkamm doesn’t seem too gnarly. A mountain near the ski resort town of Kitzbühel, Austria, the peak isn’t the highest in the Alps. Or the biggest. Or the steepest. And it has a funny name that translates to “Rooster’s Comb,” which sounds like a spot where the Trapp Family mi...
A Bicycle-Mounted LeBron James Photobombed The Miami Marathon
With traffic a mess as the Miami marathon wrapped up prior to tip-off against the Bulls, LeBron ditched the car and rode his bike to work. There's a debate going on over whether the whole thing was staged for PR purposes, so it's worth mentioning that LeBron hosts an annual charity bike-a-thon in Ak...
Bristolmetrics: Joe Paterno Was Mentioned 116 Times On <em>SportsCenter</em> Last Week; Jerry Sandusky Was Mentioned 8 Times
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....
Let's All Get Wasted At Patrick Kane's Coming-Out Party
Sidney Crosby suffered a neck injury, we were told. It was supposedly separate from his concussion issues, and announced by someone with the ominous title of neurological spine specialist, but we were reassured that it was fully healed. Nothing about that terse Penguins release was reassuring. Crosb...
Woman Dumps Man Because He Has Cancer, Still Wants His Super Bowl Tickets
The headline pretty much says it all, doesn't it? John Wessling and Anson Ainsworth, radio show hosts in Houston, pass along this incredible story of bitchiness and greed. Jason Elia, a television writer living in Nashville, went to the trouble of getting Super Bowl tickets for himself and his girl...
Syracuse Holds Off West Virginia Thanks To A Blown Goaltending Call
Syracuse avoided overtime and stayed atop the Big East with the help of referees in locking up a 63-61 win this afternoon over West Virginia. ...
The Internet Has Discovered The Exact Day Featured In Ice Cube's "It Was A Good Day" [UPDATE]
Murk Avenue reports, after exhaustive research involving Lakers-SuperSonics games and Yo! MTV Raps airings, that the Good Day in question was January 20, 1992, 20 years ago a week ago. We will forever remember it. ...
Deadspin's Blood Week Begins Monday, And We Want Your Stories
We've done Blood Week in the past, and next week we're bringing it back. What is Blood Week? Well, it's tales of blood, violence, gruesome injuries, near-death experiences, mayhem, and blood. Think hockey. Think boxing. Think MMA. Think anything that confronts you with your own fragile and occasion...
The Best Way To Handle A Reporter's Dumb Question Is To Ask Him About His Wife's Infidelity
North Carolina dominated NC State last night, which has become something of a theme. The Wolfpack haven't beaten their I-40 rivals since 2007, so for fan favorite Scott Wood, that's tantamount to never....
Eli Manning And The NFL's Trouble With Goodness
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Here's Video And A Transcript Of Nike Chairman Phil Knight's Vehement Defense Of Joe Paterno
At today's public memorial for Joe Paterno, Nike's Phil Knight called Joe Paterno his "hero" and launched a counterattack against Penn State for the manner in which the university fired its head football coach. Here's the video (from BTN) and the broadcast transcript (unedited) from Knight's eulo...
A Treasure Trove Of Bat-Killing Stories For Your Super Bowl Bye Week
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
FBI Docs: The Story Of The 6-Foot-8 Redneck Ex-Con Who Terrorized George Steinbrenner With Jet Skis
Ah, Tampa. The balmy breeze. The sandy white beaches of acceptable granularity. The lingering fury of the most dyspeptic owner in baseball history. I speak, of course, of George Steinbrenner. Welcome back for another edition of "The Boss Files," our document-driven retrospective of Steinbrenner's li...
The New England Patriots Are Not Out For Revenge
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...
A Chronicle Of Doing It: Nike And Destruction
Republished with permission from The Classical....
Whatever You're Doing With Your Life, It's Not As Awesome As The Athletes In This Recruiting Video
I don't care where you matriculated, what you studied, or what honors you graduated with. If you didn't go to Benedictine University, your degree is now useless. ...
How To Lose Weight Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
I was at the gym this morning and some old British dude started talking to me in the locker room, which is a huge breach of gym locker room protocol and totally freaked me out. Anyway, he's like, "You should watch your feet." And I looked down at my bare feet on the tile floor, and he was like, "Thi...