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Five Bullshit Things About David Stern's Bullshit Veto Of The Chris Paul Trade
David Stern's veto of the Chris Paul trade contains so much kaleidoscoping bullshit that it seems more than worth it to lay out just some of the bullshit: ...

Study Of Dead Football Player's Brain Is Even More Depressing Than Usual
A year ago, just after former NFL player Lew Carpenter passed away at the age of 78, his family decided to donate his brain to a team of researchers studying chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative disease often found in athletes who have suffered repeated head injuries. ...

After Last Night's Botched Trade, Danny Granger Says He's Changing His Name To "Stern's Bi#&h"
If you were following the whirlwind that came with last night's planned, and then nixed three-team trade that would have sent Chris Paul to the Lakers, you probably caught some of the athlete reactions. Paul, going for subtlety, tweeted, "WoW," while Lamar Odom—after a teary interview with Stephen A...

A Little Pujols Math To Infuriate Cardinals Fans
In 2009, Albert Pujols said this:...

Tim Tebow Is My Seaweed-Wrapped Japanese Rice Ball
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Your Rolando McClain Perp Walk Grin Photoshop Roundup
When we put out the call last week for photoshops of the fantastic perp walk photo of Oakland Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain (above), we knew you'd be up to the challenge; we knew you'd make us laugh like all hell at the sheer absurdity of it all. And you didn't disappoint. In all honesty, I w...

The Great NFL Migration Is About To Begin
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Every "Tebow" Uttered On ESPN's "TebowCenter" Today
In what was either a rare act of self-awareness or a complete lack thereof on behalf of the Worldwide Leader, ESPN dedicated an entire hour of SportsCenter today to Tim Tebow, managing to mention the Denver quarterback's name no fewer than 88 times in the process—all of which were painstakingly ed...

Nick Saban Was Irrational For Not Being <em>More</em> Selfish
My favorite family legend involves my dad's baby sister—my "Тетка," in Macedonian—Bonnie. As the story goes, Bonnie's first-grade class organized a Brownie troop, and their first act was to elect a troop leader. When they counted the votes, Bonnie was the only girl who hadn't voted for herself. Upse...

Orlando Reporter Asks Resigning Magic CEO If He Really Said That Thing I Made Up
This morning the Magic held a hastily arranged press conference to announce the retirement of CEO Bob Vander Weide after nearly 20 years with the club. Team officials maintained that the move had been planned for months, and had nothing to do with a 1 a.m. phone call Vander Weide made to Dwight Ho...

Jerry Sandusky Re-Arrested On Additional Charges That He Performed Oral, Anal Sex On Pre-Teen Boys
Jerry Sandusky was re-arrested on 12 additional charges of sexual abuse today. He was reportedly dressed in a Penn State track suit at the time of his arrest in State College. While "at least" five more people have come forward with allegations against the former football assistant since the origina...

"Do You Think Your Nomination Into The HOF Illegitimizes The HOF?" And Other Awkward Questions For Tim McCarver
The media conference call with Tim McCarver that accompanied this morning's announcement of his Hall of Fame award got off to a rocky start (which may have been our fault) when the first question was "What, exactly, is your vendetta against the New York Yankees?" It went downhill from there, espec...

Confessions Of A Terrible Father; Or, How To Fight That Urge To Put Your Kid Through A Wall
I got an email this week from a reader named Chris that made me think about the times when parenthood can leave you a shriveled-up, emotional wreck of a human being. This was his email....

NFL Owners Exist To Be Hated
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Are You Ready For This Mustache?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Would Brett Favre Take A Phone Call From The Ice Capades? "I Don't Want To Go Into Hypotheticals," Agent Says
We put in another call to Brett Favre's agent, Bus Cook, this morning. Upon hearing that I was calling from Deadspin, he let out a long sigh, but was gracious enough to stay on the phone. In an effort to expand on ESPN's report from Monday—in which ESPN established via anonymous source that Brett Fa...

Orlando Magic CEO Steps Down, Allegedly After A Late Night Drunk Dial To Dwight Howard
Dwight. Dwight, are you awake? Pick up, man. Dwight, man, I shouldn't be calling you. My buddy says it's too late to be calling anyone, but I just had to tell you. I..love you, Dwight. You're one of my best friends. You know that? I never told anyone that, but you are like the greatest guy....

How A Heisman Finalist's Penis Ended Up On The Internet
We already knew LSU cornerback Tyrann Mathieu was a pro. Forget his onfield play; dude already had an awesome nickname and a failed drug test. But yesterday turned out to be the ultimate rite of passage for Mathieu, as he knocked two major accomplishments off his star athlete checklist in one day: g...

The Two-Fisted, One-Eyed Misadventures Of Sportswriting's Last Badass
George Kimball hung upside down some 70 feet in the cold Manhattan air, still in need of a cigarette. Well, the doctors had said smoking would kill him, hadn't they? The previous autumn, they had found an inoperable cancerous tumor the size of a golf ball in his throat and given him six months to li...
