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Bill Simmons Writes About Holdouts, Works Through Some Of His Own Issues
Today, Simmons wrote about the nature of contract disputes. Ostensibly it's about pro athletes holding out. But somewhere, deep in the Sports Guy's Sports Psyche, it very well may have been about him....

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters: Grab Bag
Welcome back to Look At This Fucking Hoopster. I think this latest batch should slake your thirst for the indie bros you love to mock so much. Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

A Love Letter To <em> Circus</em>, The Magazine That Made Me Dirty
The first magazine subscription I ever had was to this tawdry rock magazine, filled with sweaty images of heavy metal heroes, which completely ruined my obsession with sports....

John Salley Story Corner: Picking Up Prostitutes In Hawaii
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: consorting with fallen women in Waikiki....

The Day I Believed I Could Fly With Dylan And The Dead
None, some or all of this may be true. I don't know, but I was there....

How Sports And Indie Rock Finally Fell In Love
Kurt Cobain often spoke of being terrorized by jocks in high school, as if to certify his poetic loserdom. These days, anyone with a camera handy at Lollapalooza or Pitchfork can create his very own hipster version of Straight Cash Homey. What happened in between? Duh, the Internet. What ever happen...

Cockblocked By The Homeless! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure, where we chronicle four heartwarming stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Last Night's Winner: The Miami Heat's Smothering Of Banana Man
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the Heat's culture of secrecy, which forbade local media from speaking to...a fan who wears a banana suit....

Bo "The Bailer" Gets His Spot Blown Up On Facebook
You're damn right I'm still ticked at an 18-year-old kid for ditching us for CBS. To that end, here's an amusing Facebook discussion on Bo and Sara's relationship status, featuring a cameo from Sara herself....

The 2010 Deadspin NFC Fantasy Football Preview
Every year, Andy Behrens of Yahoo and I preview the upcoming fantasy season by going through every team in the NFL. All killer, no filler. Listen here. Join us, won't you?...

Did Poynter Go Too Far In Publishing Story Alleging That Deadspin Went Too Far?
The Dongbudsman is distinguished fellow in media ethics at the Deadspin Center for Excellence in Journalism and Penis Photography....

Lessons In Midget Hoisting Etiquette
My power went out this morning for the 9,000th time this summer. Let me tell you something: power outages are a hundred times worse when you have small children. No power means the TV doesn't work, so I have nothing to turn on to get the kids to be quiet so that I can ignore them properly. Also, the...

K-Rod, The Ticking Time Bomb
Now that Francisco Rodriguez is history's greatest monster, we wondered if we should have seen it coming....

Watching A Punk Legend Have His Kramer Moment With The Negroes
Not long ago, Butthole Surfers frontman Gibby Haynes appeared at a comedy showcase, along with a prop he referred to as his "negro baby doll leg." Things went south from there....

Last Night's Winner: Jim Gray, Sports Zelig
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jim Gray, ubiquitous microphone toady, unlikely power broker, and apparently also something of a dick....

Francisco Rodriguez Arrested For Allegedly Beating Up Father-In-Law In Clubhouse
The Mets closer is in police custody and charged with assault after sending his father in law to the hospital after the Mets' loss tonight....

Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security? Deaf Guy Getting Choked By Mall Security (UPDATE: Video Fixed)
This video shows some overzealous security person at a Los Angeles mall showing off his MMA classes on a possible shoplifter. Problem is, the purple-faced shoplifter is deaf, didn't hear the alarm, and...also may have paid for his items. [SmartCrew]...

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza: Part Two
Welcome to the second edition of the Hoopsters of Lollapalooza 2010. There's been some debate over whether of not some of the entrants are real "hipsters" or merely "bros." Why though? This is a forum for ridicule, not ontological precision. Onto the pictures! Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

You, Dim, Spammy Crap Peddler, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired
One of the many downsides of being an internet "editor" is the heaping pile of sales pitches you receive from various fly-by-night tech companies trying to "partner-up" with you on some useless mobile device or traffic-booster. Here is one of these people....

Help This Desperate Man Choose The Worst Karaoke Song Ever
Greetings, cretins. We have an email request from a reader who's going through a rough patch. He wants off this hellish treadmill immediately. He will achieve this by...singing awful karaoke in a bar in Huron, Ohio. Guide him....