top Page 182 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
First 150 Fans To Have Seizures Get A Free Hot Dog!
The Hudson Valley Renegades have an interesting sponsor for fireworks night. Comedy pyramid? Comedy pyramid. Do work, people. (H/T William M.)...
Mark Prior's Comeback Just Manages To Depress Us All Over Again
Prior's going to work out for scouts tomorrow, in the hopes of getting back to the big leagues. It's sad, and unsurprising, and we all wish him luck as we expect him to fail....
Pickpockets And Super Afrikaners On The Other Side Of The Sausage Curtain
PRETORIA, South Africa — My host in Pretoria gave me this can of pepper spray to fend off bandits. I didn't have it when the bad men struck....
ESPN "The Book" Author Says Erin Andrews Is Staying At ESPN (UPDATE)
James Andrew Miller, one of the co-authors of the forthcoming oral history of the WWL, tweets that "Erin Andrews will be staying at ESPN, and no, I didn't get it from the network." [ESPNBook]...
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 28
The Netherlands and Brazil did what we expected yesterday and dominated Slovakia and Chile, respectively, each side managing a handful of very fancy goals. But fancy, schmancy. Their athletic prowess is no match for our cultural ignorance. Let's go to the video....
Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 26-27
The U.S. and England bowed out of the tournament this weekend, while Germany and Argentina showed they might be the two best squads left. Exciting as it was, everyone seemed to act sensitively—in regards to culture, that is. No more!...
Jennifer Capriati's Porn Star Ex Still Working On Sound Bite (UPDATE)
Did you know recently hospitalized former tennis star Jennifer Capriati once dated an adult film star named Dale DaBone? Yeah, me neither. He recently spilled personal details about their break-up, but now he's clammed-up after her latest incident....
How Many Famous People Are There On Earth?
Robert Byrd died today. You can check his scrawny old ass off you death pool now. And if anyone ever kept a death pool, the list of candidates could now go on for miles....
Intern Horrors: Destroying A Bathroom At America's Crappiest Newspaper
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns and the people who exploit them write in to complain about each other (or confess their own sins). This week: befouling USA Today's bathrooms, our most boorish intern yet, and more....
“Have You Had Any Black Girls?” Asked The Afrikaner With The Mohawk
PRETORIA, South Africa — People here keep telling me I look South African. What they mean is that I look Afrikaner. (Yes, I'm white, and I dress poorly.) Looking Afrikaner sucks because inevitably you get approached by scary people who think they've found a fellow traveler....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 25
And with that, the Round of 16 is set. Spain salsa'd its way to the second round behind the mighty leg of David Villa and the Ivory Coast tried its damnedest to hang seven on the Bad Korea but came up short....
Private Stache: Dutch Lovin'
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....
Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Third One (NSFW-ish)
Last week — and the week before that — we put together a video of great moments in world and cultural history in which the vuvuzela makes a noisy cameo. Well, we did it again....
The Shrieking, AIDS-Joking, Gulati-Taunting Ugly Americans Of The World Cup
PRETORIA, South Africa — A few hours before the gut-roiling USA victory here, I witnessed a tense moment of another sort when two well-lubricated American yahoos tore into Sunil Gulati, the head of the U.S. Soccer Federation. Here's how it unfolded ......
Cops Will Always Be Bastards. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Now Here's Andrés Cantor Calling Landon Donovan's ¡GOOOOOOOOOOL!
Cantor was handling the Spanish-language radio broadcast. Our pal Jordan Golson has overlaid the video with his signature call, which to these ears usually sounds like Spanish for "Booya!" but which in this case I thoroughly enjoy....
Landon Donovan's Goal May Have Also Saved His Marriage
Everyone was fighting back tears when Landon Donovan blew a kiss to "Bianca" following the biggest moment of his life. Well, that moment may have brought him and Bianca—his estranged wife—back together. Grab your hankies again....
Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 24
The Round of 16 is three-fourths finalized after today's action. The Dutch squad had two marvelous scores, and Slovakia knocked Italy out of the competition to just about everyone's relief. It was all quite exciting. But was it culturally insensitive?...
The Fine Art Of Addressing Your Children’s Genitals
It's a blockbuster funbag today. We go right to your letters....