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LeBron Watch, Day 34: The "LeBron Leaves Cleveland" Doomsday Scenario
In a little more than a week, LeBron James could be a Knick. He could be a Bull. And if he is anything but a Cav, the impact on Cleveland could be staggering. One passionate fan's ultimate nightmare scenario for his hometown....

Here's Video Of Landon Donovan's Winner (Music-Free Update)
In the 91st minute of a 0-0 draw, after a great throw by Tim Howard, Landon Donovan led the attack downfield, culminating in a put back goal by Landycakes himself. Just like that, the USMNT's stay in South Africa was extended....

World Cup Open Thread: United States-Algeria (UPDATE: U.S. Wins, Nation's Underpants Lose)
FINAL: USA 1, Algeria 0....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 22
The knockout stages are a little clearer after today, with four teams moving on. Nigeria's Kalu Uche probably had the nicest goal, but the Super Eagles knocked out after its draw with the Good Korea....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)
Up there you have two women, Nereida Gallardo and Irina Shayk, who are allegedly Cristiano Rondaldo's girlfriend. They aren't being blamed for anything (yet) but there are two of them! What do we really know about them? Let's break it down and compare the two....

What’s The Best Way To Avoid Being Raped In Prison?
I was told by friend this weekend that it's a long-held bit of conventional wisdom that Asian women have, on average, warmer genitals than other women. I did not know this was a supposedly universal stereotype for dragon ladies, nor did anyone else in my company. We all knew the usual stereotypes ab...

The Summer Of '68, The Best Days Of Our Lives
MLB hurlers are doing things on the mound not seen since the Year Of The Pitcher, before the mound was lowered from the heavens and pitchers were made mere mortals. This is a good thing, right? Right??...

Fisherman Loses $900,000 Record Marlin Due To $5 Fishing License
A tournament fisherman caught an 883-pound blue marlin off North Carolina last week. That would have won him a $912,000 first prize, but one of the crew members on his boat didn't have a fishing license. So....disqualified. Oops....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 21
Today we saw a feeding frenzy in the Portugal-North Korea game, Chile putting itself in good position for the round of 16, and Spain showing everyone why it's still a favorite. Another favorite: snickering at foreign cultures through culturally insensitive music placement....

Intern Horrors: Eating Mike Francesa's Egg Roll Is Not A Euphemism, Thank God
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns, and the people who use them, shine a light on the worst aspects of internin'. This week: a radio host loses an egg roll, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and a run-in with Warren Sapp....

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 19-20
What a weekend: New Zealand played Italy to a draw; Luis Fabiano got away with two handballs; and Denmark scored a pair of beauties. But how would these moments look when scored to music betraying a distinct lack of cultural sensitivity?...

Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....

Last Night's Winner: The Phillies Fan Who Fell Down The Stairs
In sports everyone's a winner, some just win better than others. Like the poor guy in the blue shirt who ungracefully bought it during the 5th-inning of yesterday's Phillies-Twins game. He gets four gold stars, a blue ribbon and a platinum trophy....

A Beauty In Joburg: Watching Slovenia-USA With The Ladies Of The Miss World Pageant
JOHANNESBURG — Slovenia-USA had it all. There was the immediate and customary American breakdown. The stirring comeback. A bastard shit evil ref, more evil than that bastard shit Larrionda in 2006. And then there were the Miss World contestants....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 18
Yesterday was a fantastic day. The U.S. played in the most exciting — and controversial — game of the tournament, perhaps creating some new soccer junkies in the process....

Tim Donaghy On Game 7: How The League Influences A Series
Tim Donaghy, the former NBA referee who spent 11 months in prison for relaying inside information to gamblers, is reviewing the performance of his former colleagues during the NBA Finals. Here's a quarter-by-quarter breakdown of Game 7, with video....

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Sequel
Last week, we compiled several great moments in history, film, and the internet and set them to the now-iconic buzzing of the vuvuzela. Here's a sequel. Please add your suggestions in the comments below. We'll do another of these soon....

What Needs To Happen For The US Team To Advance
Group C is up for grabs, but who's got the inside track? Here's a quick run through the scenarios by which the Yanks can advance to the knockout stages....

Cockblocked By The Bassist’s Poop! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

World Cup Open Thread: Slovenia-United States (Final: 3-2 Draw)
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! FINAL: Slovenia 2, United States 2, Koman Coulibaly 1...