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Dead Wrestling Company Of The Week: Extreme Championship Wrestling
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Extreme Championship Wrestling, the notoriously bloody wrestling promotion that went bankrupt in 2001....

The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...

The King Of The Ferret Leggers: The Classic Tale Of Sportsmen Who Put Carnivores Down Their Pants
In his new book, Rick Reilly writes at length about ferret legging, a bloody endurance competition wherein the athlete stuffs a ferret down his pants. In 1987, Outside's Donald Katz wrote the first, and still the best, ferret-legging account. Here it is....

LeBron Watch, Day 14: The Most Hated Man in Cleveland Sports History?
With Chicago and New York salivating over the prospects of LeBron's arrival, Cleveland weighs what happens if he goes. Let's just say Art Modell's got some competition now....

Armando Galarraga Absolutely Robbed Of A Perfect Game By Umpire's Bad Call
Detroit's Armando Galarraga just threw the 21st perfect game in Major League history and the second one this week. Unfortunately, umpire Jim Joyce turned the 27th out into a infield hit with a horrendously botched call. (UPDATE: Joyce has apologized.)...

School Of Fight: Learning To Brawl With The Hockey Goons Of Tomorrow
In which our writer goes to the notorious hockey fight camp for kids, takes a teenager's punch to the kidneys, and winds up finding the bruised soul of the game. Camp photos by Chris Buck....

An Ode To The Bleeders
Mike Tyson was scared of his own blood. Bullies always hate to see themselves bleed. Other guys, the underdogs or the underskilled, are perfectly content to bathe in it. Blood is boxing's baptism....

The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...

Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....

LeBron Watch, Day 12: What The Cavs Will Do About The Delonte West-Gloria James Rumor
Was there any truth to the rumor that Delonte West and LeBron's mom, uh, you know? Two Cleveland insiders disagree on what happened, but no matter what, there's only one way for the Cavs to handle it....

Weekend Winner: The 215
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the 215 area code, home of baseball's most recent perfect game. And to think: They did it all without involving A-Rod or finger tattoos!...

Nick Swisher's Soon-To-Be Wife Is A Scientologist?
This news of potential matrimonial conflict is brought to you byBob's Blitz, which points out that Swisher's fiancée, actress Joanna Garcia, has some ties to L.Ron Hubbard's Hollywood weirdo community....

Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Live Chat: With This Guy Sitting On The Toilet
Do you have any questions? It doesn't matter. I'm going to be sitting here with my hand in my pants waiting for you to ask something if you have one. Or we can just "chat."...

Here's Urban Meyer's Daughter Because It's Friday, And Other Things Of Note
It's a three-day weekend so things are going to be a little looser than usual around these parts. Especially today. At 12 p.m. I'll be doing a live chat in the comments section. Bring your questions, your ire, your cookie sheets....

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....

The Strange Saga Of Denver's Freestyle-Skiing, Group-Sexing Alleged Pimp
Some athletes retire and open up a car wash or a money-management joint. Scottie Ewing, former BMX rider and professional freestyle skier, skipped the pretense altogether: He opened up a swingers club in Denver. And maybe moonlighted as a pimp....

Mushroom Tea Murder: Man Removes Friend's Still-Beating Heart
After taking psychedelic mushrooms, a California man gouged out his MMA training partner's heart, eyes and tongue, all while he was still alive. Witness testimonies detail the two men's increasing paranoia as it spiraled out of control....

In Which We Search For The Ideal Masturbation Finishing Technique
No time to waste. Let's get right to your letters:...

LeBron Watch, Day 7: Barack Obama Wants To Destroy Basketball In Cleveland
As the first week of LeBron Watch comes to a close, even the president of the United States is weighing in on the important matter, urging the King to come to Chicago....