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The Human Dramedy Of The National Spelling Bee
Whether by design or accident, the kids at this year's spelling bee were decidedly less wacky than last year's crop of home-schooled rascals. (I do like the Canadian, though.) However, the event was not without its chuckles or....stunning twists!...

Private Stache: Cassius Clay Has Blood On His Hands
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

The Hidden Menace That Is The Scrotal Hydrocele
I went to the doctor a while back because I thought I had a hernia. It turned out I had something far less serious, and yet somehow far more horrifying....

Rotten Potato Edition! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Dead Wrestling Company Of The Week: Extreme Championship Wrestling
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Extreme Championship Wrestling, the notoriously bloody wrestling promotion that went bankrupt in 2001....

The Funbag Demands You Respect The King Of Salad Dressings
I went to the dentist today to get a cleaning. And man, if there's anything that tickles worse than when the hygienist hits the roof of your mouth with that fucking polisher, I don't wanna find out what it is. When I die and am sentenced to Hell, they're gonna send me to Satan's tickling room, and t...

The King Of The Ferret Leggers: The Classic Tale Of Sportsmen Who Put Carnivores Down Their Pants
In his new book, Rick Reilly writes at length about ferret legging, a bloody endurance competition wherein the athlete stuffs a ferret down his pants. In 1987, Outside's Donald Katz wrote the first, and still the best, ferret-legging account. Here it is....

LeBron Watch, Day 14: The Most Hated Man in Cleveland Sports History?
With Chicago and New York salivating over the prospects of LeBron's arrival, Cleveland weighs what happens if he goes. Let's just say Art Modell's got some competition now....

Armando Galarraga Absolutely Robbed Of A Perfect Game By Umpire's Bad Call
Detroit's Armando Galarraga just threw the 21st perfect game in Major League history and the second one this week. Unfortunately, umpire Jim Joyce turned the 27th out into a infield hit with a horrendously botched call. (UPDATE: Joyce has apologized.)...

School Of Fight: Learning To Brawl With The Hockey Goons Of Tomorrow
In which our writer goes to the notorious hockey fight camp for kids, takes a teenager's punch to the kidneys, and winds up finding the bruised soul of the game. Camp photos by Chris Buck....

An Ode To The Bleeders
Mike Tyson was scared of his own blood. Bullies always hate to see themselves bleed. Other guys, the underdogs or the underskilled, are perfectly content to bathe in it. Blood is boxing's baptism....

The Key To Beating Any Company Weed Test? JUST ADD WATER.
No time for tiddlywinks. I have to look into renting out some sort of dungeon or kennel for my four-year-old. Let's go right to your letters:...

Intern Horrors: A Reds Broadcaster Does His Best To Ruin Eric Davis Bobblehead Night
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today, there's a Cincinnati Red showing his true colors (it's envy!), a desk befouled, the depths of desperation, and our first badtern....

LeBron Watch, Day 12: What The Cavs Will Do About The Delonte West-Gloria James Rumor
Was there any truth to the rumor that Delonte West and LeBron's mom, uh, you know? Two Cleveland insiders disagree on what happened, but no matter what, there's only one way for the Cavs to handle it....

Weekend Winner: The 215
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the 215 area code, home of baseball's most recent perfect game. And to think: They did it all without involving A-Rod or finger tattoos!...

Nick Swisher's Soon-To-Be Wife Is A Scientologist?
This news of potential matrimonial conflict is brought to you byBob's Blitz, which points out that Swisher's fiancée, actress Joanna Garcia, has some ties to L.Ron Hubbard's Hollywood weirdo community....

Cockblocked By Fire Ants! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Live Chat: With This Guy Sitting On The Toilet
Do you have any questions? It doesn't matter. I'm going to be sitting here with my hand in my pants waiting for you to ask something if you have one. Or we can just "chat."...

Here's Urban Meyer's Daughter Because It's Friday, And Other Things Of Note
It's a three-day weekend so things are going to be a little looser than usual around these parts. Especially today. At 12 p.m. I'll be doing a live chat in the comments section. Bring your questions, your ire, your cookie sheets....

YES Reporter Loses Her Pork Chop To Hungry Fan
Well, here's a first. Kimberly Jones of the YES Network tried to show off Target Field's new "pork chop on a stick" when an amorous Yankee fan got a little too frisky and well....he drinks your pork chop. Video inside....