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Welcome To Deadspin's "Comedy Week"
This week, Deadspin will celebrate the release of Sarah Silverman's book, "The Bedwetter," with an excerpt and a friendly chat with you weirdos. To commemorate this fine event, we've also brought in more funny people....
A New Big Ben Exposure Story: “He Had A Gray Penis"
Plenty of ladies these days have a story about unwanted exposure to Ben Roethlisberger's penis. Here's an account we received from reader Running Man Territory Dan. It's unverified and possibly totally fabricated. Still, A GRAY PENIS?!...
BYU's Top Rusher Withdraws, Possibly Due To Premarital Sex With Girlfriend
Harvey Unga, BYU's leading rusher, is withdrawing from school. So is his girlfriend, basketball player Keilani Moeaki. They're leaving because of a violation of BYU's notoriously strict honor code. Let's speculate!...
Stories That Don't Suck, With Special Guest Host
Today, our pal Alex Belth, proprietor of Bronx Banter, is taking the reins. He's selected four stories for your enjoyment....
A Blow-By-Blow Account Of The Vomiting Phillies Fan
In our #tips section, we received a purported firsthand account from someone sitting in the same section as Matthew Clemens, the New Jersey man accused of throwing up on an 11-year-old girl. We reprint it here for your reading pleasure....
Have You Seen This Man’s Penis? GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Yet Another Roethlisberger Incident: "He Pulled His Pants Down"
The Georgia investigation uncovered more allegations of sexual impropriety on Big Ben's part. In this case, on multiple occasions, he invited a woman to his home and made some very unwanted advances....
Jerry Jones Clarifies His "Social Moment," Explains That Bill Parcells Is, In Fact, Worth A Shit
Jerry Jones took the opportunity at a diabetes fundraiser yesterday to explain away his sodden musings on Bill Parcells, and somehow he came away sounding a lot sillier than he did last week during cocktail hour at Ocean Prime....
The Roethlisberger Documents: "His Penis Was Already Out Of His Pants"
Now we know exactly what Roethlisberger was accused of doing that night: straight up, unprotected sex. Let's dig right in to the sordid details, shall we?...
Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte
Sam's down in the comments, awaiting both your observations on America's sham meritocracy and your penis humor. Go say hi. Don't forget to read the excerpt and buy the book....
Excerpt From <em>The Ask</em>: "... And I Pictured Titboning Vargina In A Rare Books Room"
Below is the first chapter of The Ask, by Sam Lipsyte, our funniest and foremost chronicler of fuck-up Americana. Read it and come back at 3 p.m. for a live chat with the author in a followup post....
Bogus Rumors About The <em>Entourage</em> Douches That We'll Choose To Believe Anyway
I hate stretching. I hate everything about it. Ninety percent of all stretching done in America today is done in a cursory fashion. You have to go lift or exercise, so you grab your foot and stretch your quad for three seconds, then you jump on the equipment. This is how I stretch, and it does nothi...
The Jerry Jones Video Wrap-Up
It's been an active day for the Cowboys' owner, after his sloshy Parcells/Tebow rant became a top story throughout the Dallas area and was even deemed talking head-worthy by the WWL. Take it away, Lovely Hannah....
A Reminder: When You Email Deadspin, You Are Contributing To Deadspin
Unless you specify that your email is off the record anything that comes into any author or the tips line is fair game. So be mindful of that every time you send us something. For example......
Ehhhh...Fuck Off, Dale Hansen
"That story we had earlier tonight about Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, if that's what it is (and our news director thinks it is), is yet another example of the decline of journalism as we once knew it." [WFAA]...
Please Sign Up For The Deadspin Newsletter And Receive A Special Celebrity Phone Number
See that little box on the left hand side of the masthead that says "Join"? If you click that, you'll get a daily splash of Deadspin's top stories, now in an email form....
Jumping Out Of A Plane Trumps Lesbian Hooker Dildo Shows
I went to a skydiving center this past weekend. I jumped and was a complete pussy all the way down (that's me staring wistfully back at the plane). The full story will be in Penthouse magazine sometime this summer. I never knew how much skydiving cost, so I asked the lady the normal fee for jumping ...
Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....
Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....
Some Steelers Fans Have Soured On Big Ben: "He's A Jagoff"
Ben Roethlisberger won't be charged in the Milledgeville bathroom incident, but some Steeler faithful have declared Big Ben unfit to wear the Black & Gold. Our Pittsburgh correspondent, Domenick Cosentino, visited local watering holes last night to get some unfiltered Yinzer reaction....