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The Five Most Enjoyable Phony Voices To Speak In While Alone
Yes, sometimes I try out foreign accents and voices when alone in the car or the shower. It's how I prepare myself in case I'm plucked from obscurity to play a Bond villain....

Minnesota Twins: R.I.P. Baseball Anomaly, And Competitive Advantage
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Minnesota Twins....

Tom Izzo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the new unanimous choice for greatest coach in the history of world history. Improbably, that guy works for Michigan State....

I Was There...Being Paris Hilton's Manslave
Here's an unexpected submission. One of the young men selected to carry Paris Hilton during MTV's Cancun Spring Break shitshow emailed his experience and, I must say, it is something else....

Go Read This Story About The Torment Of Sportswriter Mike Penner As Soon As Possible
Christopher Goffard of the LA Times appears to have pulled together the most honest account of the final years of former sportswriter Mike Penner's haunted life were like when he struggled to find his identity as Christine Daniels....

Great Moments In Drunken Spring Break Failure!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Spring Break Failure, where we showcase heartwarming true stories of spring break gone horribly awry. Off we go....

"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....

Pittsburgh Pirates: October 14, 1992
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Pittsburgh Pirates....

<em>Joe Buck Live</em> Pretty Much Dead, Joe Buck Says
Fox's Joe Buck seems convinced "Joe Buck Live" will be canceled, but HBO still hasn't made it official. HBO reps went the "no comment" route when we asked about the show's status. Joe Buck sent us these parting thoughts:...

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 3: A False-Titted Spring
This is the final installment of Pat Jordan's Spring Break adventure, in which our correspondent attends a wet t-shirt contest and finds America in a state of permanent adolescence and mild arousal. Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here....

How Much Do Your Genitals Weigh? A Half-Assed Funbag Investigation!
I have a TV/Film peeve I'd like abolished from now on. I dunno if Ebert's film glossary has covered this yet, but I would like it added if it has not. I call it the Confession Cocktease....

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 2: Among The Fornicators
This is the second installment of Pat Jordan's dispatch from Spring Break. Jordan, the author of A False Spring, took his gun and his cigars to Daytona Beach and filed this report over the mojo wire. Part 1 is here....

Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim: Making The Other Team The "Other" Team
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim....

Searching For...The Player Who Told Tim Tebow To STFU
One NFL hopeful shocked and delighted the world by telling Tebow to "shut the fuck up" after he requested a pre-Wonderlic prayer. But we haven't yet been able to put a name to the words. That's where you come in....

Video: Urban Meyer Threatens Reporter Over Tebow Quotes
The Gator coach had words — and almost more — with an Orlando Sentinel reporter over what he thought was unfair treatment of Tim Tebow. For a man with stress-related health problems, this was not a good moment for Meyer....

Marijuana 'Epidemic' Among Incoming NFL Rookie Class Is No Big Deal
The league believes that this is the deepest NFL draft pool in years. It's also one of the highest. To that, we say: so what?...

Down And Out In Daytona, Part 1: A Postcard From Spring Break, Circa 1983
Earlier this month, we sent Pat Jordan, author of A False Spring and a lot of fine sports journalism, down to Daytona Beach for Spring Break. He took a pistol and a van and sent back this report, via fax....

Tiger Woods's First Porn Mistress, Joslyn James, Publishes Something New: Wingman's Email
Joslyn James, Tiger's tawdry porn star hump-buddy best known for publishing those awful text messages, has returned with a new batch of quasi-incriminating evidence: Uchitelian emails from Tiger wingman Bryon Bell. See below....

Arizona Diamondbacks: Bronzing Laundry
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Arizona Diamondbacks....

Dwight Gooden Charged With DWI (Update)
According to the Franklin Lakes, N.J., police, the oft-arrested former Met/Yankee (oh, and Indian/Astro/Devil Ray, too) was pinched early Tuesday morning on suspicion of driving under the influence. The tip we received and press release are below....