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Dispatches From The Phillies Victory Parade
Breaking News: We have a Daulerio sighting. Your Deadspin editor has been spotted at the Locust Bar at 235 S 10th St., engaged in drunken post-parade revelry with someone named Jim (and later, I'm sure, to be known as "Suspect B"). A courageous reader sent this cell phone shot at great personal risk...

Intolerable Ballpark Abuse: Featuring Drunkeness, Assault, And The Cutting Insults Of Von Hayes
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

Seven-Year-Old Football Fan Meets Erin Andrews, Inspires A Nation (With Video)
Imagine this scene: You're seven years old and attending your first big-time college football game. Your dad has gotten you seats in the front row, you've got the jersey, you've even painted your face. Your team is upsetting a ranked opponent in primetime and driving for another touchdown. The ball ...

World Series Game Five Live Blog 33-1/3: The Final Insult
Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. * * *Top 9th 3 ...

The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...

World Series Game Five Suspended; Phillies' One-Run Lead Delayed Rain Delay
For the entire World Series, it seems like the umpires had been under the mischievous magnifying glass of the sinister "Toy Story" neighbor Sid, just burning under the criticism. Little did you realize it'd go beyond the classic blown out-safe calls and wacky strike zones. Now it's about when to rol...

World Series Game Five Live Blog: Rays at Phillies
Well then. If Philadelphia gets a win from Cole "Lynchpin Of Hope" Hamels tonight, they win the World Series. If Scott "Zambrano" Kazmir can act as the stopper, then the Rays move the Series back to Catwalkdome and continue to fight from the corner they've put themselves in. If Tennessee wins, you'v...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls..."Men With Balls" Is Here
It is with great pleasure and genuine enthusiasm that I get to point out to you, fair dick joke-friendly Deadspin readership, that the debut novel of not-so-young Drew Magary is ready and available for your consumption. Marvel at his use of creative profanity and his ability to talk about other spor...

Blazing Saddles; A Day At The Breeders' Cup
I don't have many living idols, due to the fact that such folk have an unfortunate tendency to let you down. But I make an exception with this gentleman, who is a big reason that I accepted an invitation to attend the Breeders' Cup at Santa Anita this past Saturday. Meeting the great Mel Brooks was ...

Angryville Prepares for The Great Unmooring
This was taken at Broad and Walnut last night about 12:47, just an hour after the game ended. Just like the night before, after that rain-delayed, preposterous walk-off win in Game 3, the city's most boisterous emptied their homes, the bars, their cars, and just took it to the street. Cops were sum...

Comcast Customers in Philly Swing, Miss at Seeing Home Runs
We started receiving rather angry emails just after midnight. No, our ex-girlfriend hadn't left her Mail Goggles off accidentally. (She never leaves it off accidentally.) The emails came instead from angry viewers in and around Philadelphia, describing their anguish and rage over missing the back-to...

Isiah Thomas Overdosed On Sleeping Pills...
Details are sketchy at this point but according to reports from both the New York Post and the Lower Hudson Valley News, police responded to to and overdose call at the purchase home of Isiah Thomas early this morning: ...

Springtime For Lou Holtz ... ESPN, Double Standards And You
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...

World Series Game Two Live Blog: Phillies At Rays
Pitching, we have Brett "Left Hook" Myers and James Shields, not "Hields That Begin With The Letter 'S' " on the mound. Talking, it's Joe Buck (pictured) and Tim McCarver (imagined.) Jumping, is viewers like you. * * *Top 9th 2 ...

World Series Game One Live Blog: Phillies At Rays
Playoff baseball in Florida. Just as Abner Doubleday foretold in his hallucinations. It begins right now as Cole "Settled In" Hamels and Scott "Dialed In" Kazmir will pitch. Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will tell you what you already knew on the Fox broadcast. And this piece? Well, I call it "Lick My L...

World Series Preview: Rays Vs. Phillies
The World Series is truly my favorite week of the year. Having the World Series going on is an excuse that gets you out of anything, every year. No matter what plans I might be forced into, all I have to say is, "Hey, the World Series is on," and people understand. You know how Will gets about his ...

NO MORE COWBELL: The Wretchedness of Tampa Bay's Fledgling Fanbase
Yesterday, we ran The Angryville Chronicles, showcasing the worst-of-the-worst of Philadelphia's spirited sports-loving miscreants. Not surprisingly, the stories about Tampa fans were not as interesting. In fact, I received even more Philadelphia horror stories. Maybe there's some truth to this rep...

It's Obama And McCain ... AFTER DARK!
So over the weekend, the two candidates for President — Sen. Barack Obama, head of a Muslim sleeper cell, and Sen. John McCain, organizer of the first Hanoi chapter of the Ku Klux Klan — spoke at the Al Smith Dinner, a big Catholic charity event held in Manhattan right before the elections every y...

Cats Being CAThletes: An Afternoon at the CFA Iams Cat Championship
This past weekend offered plenty of football, baseball, soccer, and ultimate fighting to satisfy even the most casual sports fan, but most of you probably missed one of the more competitive athletic events that took place in New York City on Saturday and Sunday —- the CFA Iams Cat Championship feat...

The Angryville Chronicles: Stories About Philadelphia's Ferociously Loyal, Amusingly Vile Fanbase
A couple of weeks ago, I asked for stories about people's worst Philadelphia fan experiences in the hopes that I'd be able to use them right before the start of the World Series. That worked out. As you may know, the Philadelphia Phillies are National League Champions (Woo-hoo!). I received many, ma...