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Barack Obama Will Not Take Away Your Ties Or Your Hair
I don't remember where I saw it, but about a year-and-a-half ago, in one of those "Hey, there's a cool black guy running for President!" stories, the writer posited that Barack Obama, if he were to somehow win (crazy!), would have something immediately in common with John F. Kennedy: He could destro...
Mike Van Ryn Is Having A Rough Year
The NHL season is only a few weeks old, but for Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Mike Van Ryn it probably feels like an eternity. Back in October, he removed a pane of glass from the boards in Boston with his face and on Saturday night he was on the receiving end of this rather nasty boarding penalty...
Saturday Night Live Blog: #9 Oklahoma State at #2 Texas Tech
The Big XII has thirteen teams in the Top 10, and this is just another night in which two of them square off on a Saturday night. The undefeated Red Raiders get their second straight prime-time big game against the once-defeated Cowboys. Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit brand cows with their init...
Justin Tuck Has One Less Check To Write
If you thought Justin Tuck got screwed out of $7,500 earlier this week, you weren't the only one. The indefatigable Michael David Smith (via The Star-Ledger) is reporting on PFT that that bullshit fine levied on Tuck for his hit on Brooks Bollinger has been rescinded. You better pull up your socks ...
Masking Tape, An Inebriated Friend, And The Shocking Discovery Of Boyfriend Internet Porn
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
How To Quietly Open A Beer Can. Jamboroo, Week 10.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. My ...
Rinku And Dinesh Go To White Castle The Majors
Not since Apu quit the Kwik-E-Mart have we seen a more unlikely story involving people from India. Meet Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel, a pair of teenagers with dreams of playing Major League baseball. It was Walkoff Walk which first introduced the sporting blogosphere to these guys back in May, when ...
The Patriots Dole Out Their Swift, Kraftian Justice, Thus Ending The Short Career of One Cheerleader
Caitlin Davis, the 19-year-old Patriots cheerleader who was featured in this Deadspin item, photographed with a Sharpie in hand, posing over a passed out individual covered in penis drawings was dismissed from pompom duties effective yesterday, according to the Boston Herald. The paper insinuates th...
Oaks Christian Has An Overabundance Of Famous Progeny
Here are Nick Montana, Trevor Gretzky and Trey Smith, all of whom play football at Oaks Christian High in Westlake Village, near Los Angeles, and whose rather famous fathers don't have much trouble paying the school's annual $21,640 tuition, I'm guessing. If you want to witness a hilarious sight on ...
Election Night: An Excuse To Stay Up Past 8:30
Well, it's here. When I was a kid, Election Night was one of the few nights of the year I was allowed to stay up past 8:30. (Seriously, my bedtime was 8:30 until I was a freshman in high school. And you wonder why I still wet the bed.) I never knew who any of the candidates were, or even what the "...
You're With Me, Election
Yeah, yeah, I agree; there's something clearly disturbing about Boomer being the last human to interview John McCain and Barack Obama before we all go to the polls today. But look on the bright side: The phrase "Barack and a hard place" was not uttered; Berman didn't lose it and scream at an intern;...
Phil Fulmer Stepping Down From Tennessee At The End of the Season
In the immediate aftermath of Tennessee's 27-6 loss to South Carolina, for the first time all season Phil Fulmer didn't tell his team not to quit. He talked for only a few moments, barely above a whisper, and then led the team in prayer. We all dropped to one knee and took the hand of the men on bo...
ESPN Jerks Bill Simmons Around, Yet Again
If you're a regular reader of ESPN.com, you probably noticed that Bill Simmons's NFL picks column didn't hit the web this past Friday. Well, according to the Sports Fella, ESPN elected not to publish it. The tension between Simmons and his employer, ESPN, has been well documented and the latest bit...
Dispatches From The Phillies Victory Parade
Breaking News: We have a Daulerio sighting. Your Deadspin editor has been spotted at the Locust Bar at 235 S 10th St., engaged in drunken post-parade revelry with someone named Jim (and later, I'm sure, to be known as "Suspect B"). A courageous reader sent this cell phone shot at great personal risk...
Intolerable Ballpark Abuse: Featuring Drunkeness, Assault, And The Cutting Insults Of Von Hayes
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Seven-Year-Old Football Fan Meets Erin Andrews, Inspires A Nation (With Video)
Imagine this scene: You're seven years old and attending your first big-time college football game. Your dad has gotten you seats in the front row, you've got the jersey, you've even painted your face. Your team is upsetting a ranked opponent in primetime and driving for another touchdown. The ball ...
World Series Game Five Live Blog 33-1/3: The Final Insult
Last time on "World Series Test Cricket," our Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays were tied 2-2 in the middle of the 6th inning. Please slip on the underwear you adorned on Tuesday (or, if you want to be accurate, Monday) and jump like it's October 27th. * * *Top 9th 3 ...
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...
World Series Game Five Suspended; Phillies' One-Run Lead Delayed Rain Delay
For the entire World Series, it seems like the umpires had been under the mischievous magnifying glass of the sinister "Toy Story" neighbor Sid, just burning under the criticism. Little did you realize it'd go beyond the classic blown out-safe calls and wacky strike zones. Now it's about when to rol...
World Series Game Five Live Blog: Rays at Phillies
Well then. If Philadelphia gets a win from Cole "Lynchpin Of Hope" Hamels tonight, they win the World Series. If Scott "Zambrano" Kazmir can act as the stopper, then the Rays move the Series back to Catwalkdome and continue to fight from the corner they've put themselves in. If Tennessee wins, you'v...