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Tony Kornheiser Leaves The World Of Newspapers
Sad news this morning, and we're pretty sure it's the fault of the goddamned blogs: Tony Kornheiser, after nearly 30 years at the Washington Post, has accepted a buyout from the paper....

And Toward Me He Charged: Charles Haley's Bananas
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awful...

LeBron's Mother Is Not Someone With Whom You Should Trifle
Last night's Celtics-Cavaliers Game 4 tilt will be remembered for two things: First, LeBron James' ridiculous, "you know, I could do this all the time if I really wanted" driving dunk, and, mostly, James' mother yapping at the Celtics who were wrapping her poor boy, and James responding with a subtl...

Dee Mirich Cranks Out The Classic Of All Classics
Many of us have wondered why prolific message board poet Dee Mirich has remained silent on the tragic Eight Belles Kentucky Derby accident. After all, when Barbaro fell, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of her offerings. But now all is clear: Ms. Mirich had been working feverishly o...

Has Marvin Harrison's Shady Past (And Present) Finally Caught Up To Him?
The muddled circumstances surrounding Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison's invovement in a shooting last week are slowly coming together. The facts: it was Harrison's gun that was used; six casings from his gun were found; Harrison was interviewed and had a fistfight with a man; some people got sho...

LeBron James, NHL '94, Tecmo Bo, Foosball, Cooking Dinner For The Ladies And The Dominant Force Of The Move
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

Bring Me The Head Of Mr. Redlegs
By now you've probably heard of the tragic accident involving Mr. Redlegs, the jovial, mustachioed mascot of the Cincinnati Reds. Speeding around the warning track at Great American Ball Park prior to a game with the Cubs, Mr. Redlegs tumbled from the back of the vehicle and had his head pop off, ...

Even A-Rod's Wife Questions Her Husband's Masculinity
It's tough for most of us to watch those "Miracle of Life" shows where they give you the full access to what it's really like to watch someone have a baby. After viewing it, you soon realize that even the most gruesome horror movies showing a screeching alien ejecting itself out of a person's stom...

White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...

On Race, Message Boards And Shutting The Hell Up
Of all the panels on "Costas Now" the other night, the one we thought was most effective at tickling the cerebral cortex was the last one, about race, featuring Cris Carter, Michael Wilbon and Jason Whitlock. (It was so absorbing that "Costas Now" is doing a full 90-minute segment just on race down ...

Tim Tebow Has A Steady Hand, We Hope
Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is an amazing, versatile quarterback, able to chuck a pass 50 yards, turn the corner and a linebacker and plow over undersized defensive lineman. He's a Renaissance Man, a do-gooder, a man of America. His skills run deep. How deep? Trust us, you don't want to know....

It's Getting Crowded In Horse Valhalla
Eight Belles is probably in Heaven by now, galloping in fields of clover on four sturdy legs and eating tasty apples. No, I'm not sure which friends she's romping about with up there (a safe bet; one of them is not Christopher Reeve). Down here on earth, though, things are quite unsettled. Who is to...

About Last Night
What you missed while mourning another tragic Civil War casualty ... • NHL: *Yawn!* Is the Stars-Sharks game over yet? • MLB: Maddux vows to win No. 350 before the next appearance of comet Hale-Bopp. • NBA: Confused Jazz discover that hack-a-Kobe strategy does not work. Los Angeles 109, Utah 98....

Marvin Harrison? Really?
We'll file this under the wait-and-see folder until more details are available, but plenty of major media outlets are reporting this somewhat shocking news:...

Cubs Preparing For When Ryne Sandberg Becomes Their Manager
When the day finally comes that Lou Piniella explodes like Port Chicago — oh, and he will — who will step in for the Cubs? How about Ryne Sandberg? The Hall of Famer, now manager of the Class A Peoria Chiefs, will try out the manager's chair when he returns to Wrigley Field on July 29; his team taki...

Karl Malone Once Liked Them Very, VERY Young
So you know that story earlier this week about the Bills draftee who's the secret son of Karl Malone? Well, the plot thickens. According to The Buffalo News, Malone might have been robbing the cradle a little bit....

Charlie Weis Can't Win On The Field, But Wins Off Of It
One thing that was brought up on the Best Damn Sports Show last night prior to Will's segment was a quote made last week from Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis. Weis was speaking at a Gettysburg Notre Dame Alumni event and made this comment in regard to ND's losing record last season:...

What's The Best Sport To Watch On TV While You're High? A Balls Deep Special JOURNALISTIC Investigation!
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

On May 15, The Fresno Grizzlies Will Sweep The Leg
Time once again for Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions, mascots and fans. Also, The View's Joy Behar dishes celebrity gossip....

Closing Out This Bissinger Business
We really don't want to get into this too much more today, because yesterday was exhausting enough (and we weren't even working!). But we will say this: We were, bizarrely, on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" yesterday, and not only was the level of discourse pitched higher than on "Costas Now," b...