top Page 294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
There Goes A.B., Trying To Deny It Again
We know we should enjoy those text messages that are put on the scoreboard during baseball games these days — it's fan participation, after all — but inevitably they just seem like the screechings of teenagers, using a language we cannot understand. But we dont' take them seriously. But then again: ...
MLB.com Says, "We Break It, You Buy It"
We remember being quite excited a couple years back when MLB.com started offering classic games for download. The notion of buying an old Cardinals World Series game that we could have forever, to watch whenever we'd like. Thanks, MLB! Of course, forever isn't exactly forever, not with the fine folk...
Clinton Portis Is Happily Weird Again
Via DC Sports Bog, which was invented for this very thing, it's Clinton Portis' newest "character." It's "Choo-Choo." We don't know what it means, and we don't care. It's like the final season of "Arrested Development;" not as inspired as the first go-arounds, but we're all just grateful it's back,...
Jamboroo, Week 10: Featuring Marmalard, A—hole Doctors, Depressed Bunnies, Goldfish, And Lots Of Other Stupid S—t
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
This Morning, Ashley Judd Weeps
The college basketball season has barely started — really, it hasn't, not at all — and we've already had three ridiculous upsets (even if two didn't count). This is a welcome break; if you'll remember the NCAA tournament last year, we barely had any. We hope this is a good sign....
Well, Look Who's In Trouble Again
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was just reinstated to the NFL after an eight-game suspension. That's good. Police are already investigating him for another incident. That's bad....
Dennis Is Here! Rejoice!
So is it mere coincidence that Dennis Miller starts his new sports show on Versus on the same day that we open our Sports Human of the Year nominations? (lowers glasses, looks thoughtfully at reader). We weren't born yesterday, babe. Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller kicked off on Tuesday, and if...
Time For 2007 SHOTY Nominations
It might seem a little early to you, but trust us, we did the math: It isn't. It's time to start taking nominations for the 2007 Sportshuman Of The Year. You should have seen this coming when the ads for Santa Claus movies started popping up....
Tickets Prices At Fenway Have Increased Somewhat
A reader, digging through some of their dad's old things, found a relic from the mid-80s that couldn't be more dated than if it showed a picture of Flock of Seagulls....
You Have To Triple Team Josh McNeil
Tennessee center Josh McNeil has a history of problems with alcohol, including a public intoxication and underage drinking charge that kept him out of five spring practices, quite the punishment. But after an incident this weekend, we now know the truth: Josh McNeil doesn't have an alcohol problem ....
Greetings, Spinheads
Hello again, faceless internet cro-mags. A.J. Daulerio here to guide you through this glorious autumn day full of dead leaves on the dirty ground and sweaters stuffed with cold tits. Hopefully, I'll play a small part in making your day of corporate drudgery fly by as quickly as possible so you can a...
Probably The Only Place Left For A-Rod
As we look over Alex Rodriguez's possible free agent destinations, frankly, only one place makes sense: The Toledo Mud Hens. And they're making their push....
Jamboroo, Week 9: The Budding Legend Of Derek "Horse Balls" Anderson
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Why Steroids Make You Strong And More Famous
Just in case anyone forgot: Rafael Palmeiro tests positive for a steroid and an entire Hall of Fame career is destroyed. Rick Ankiel is prescribed HGH by a doctor when it's neither illegal nor banned by baseball, and he's a disgrace to the story we all once admired. Jaguars defensive end Marcus Stro...
You Can Be A-Rod, For A Day
We remember, back in 2000, when we were working for one of those dot-com startups that were all the rage at the time. Everybody strolled into the office around 10:30, left at 5 and brought their dogs to the office. And no one did any real work; we all just sat in "brainstorming" meetings, discussing...
The Only Time Jon Kitna Has Ever Been Naked In Public
We're a little behind on this, but it's awfully amusing, particularly because it's Halloween. Lions quarterback Jon Kitna apparently has a better sense of humor than you might have thought....
Oh, No, You Didn't Forget About Jeff, Did You?
If it's almost November, that can only mean one thing: Time for Jeff George's annual desperate plea to come back to the NFL!...
A Look At Kevin Garnett
We're dangerously close to the start of the NBA season, with all its drama and months of madness. To us, part of the beauty of the NBA is that its focus, while ultimately on the team, falls on the individual. The plight of one player becomes an epic tale in the shadow of Jordan; who is the real alph...
You Know, Torre Really Could Use A Tan
Our old friend Peter Abraham, who is a big fan of sushi and Fashion Week gossip, has the big scoop this morning: The Dodgers are going to fire Grady Little and hire Joe Torre....
Seriously, They Still Use The Term "Gunslinger"
Leave it to Monday Night Football to take a vintage Brett Favre moment, his overtime game-winning touchdown over the Broncos last night, and turn it into yet another exercise in overpromotion....