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Torre Says Thanks, But No Thanks, To The Yankees
There's something perfect, really, about how this whole Joe Torre business went down. Now that he has rejected a one-year deal with the Yankees, he gets to walk away from the madness with his dignity intact and his head high. And the Yankees get to move on themselves. All this talk about firing Tor...
Jimmy Kimmel Doesn't See What All The Fuss Is About
After his appearance on "Monday Night Football" earlier this week, Jimmy Kimmel has been banned from the program. This is supposed to be a punishment?...
See, Now This Is Just Being Mean
Imagine you're facing one of the most important moments of your career, a moment in which you must be on top of your game and perform at your peak capacity. Everyone is counting on you; the whole world is watching. Concentration is paramount. And then, when the moment of truth comes, and you're read...
Jason Kidd Is Aware Of His Physical Advantages
You know the NBA season is just around the corner when Jason Kidd is in the gossip pages again. The Nets point guard is accused of groping a woman (twice!) and then informing her of his rather imposing physical advantage....
Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights
The E-Ticket section on ESPN.com has always been one of the stronger elements of the site, and the show, while occasionally lapsing into the same soft-focus weeper segments that permeate Chris Connelly's "reports," trades off it well. Jeremy Schaap's Cecil Fielder story was fascinating; it was hard ...
The Journalists Is Smart And Diligent
How absurd has the the Kobe Bryant story become? There was a rather large media kerfuffle at Lakers practice yesterday revolving around whether or not Kobe had cleaned out his locker. It turned out that he hadn't cleaned out his locker; he had merely cleaned it. Say what you will about the status of...
It's True: The Red Sox Have Become The Yankees
The kewpie doll this morning goes to commenters Chad Sexington (who provided us with this wonderfully ironic photo (and this animated GIF) and, especially, Fiddling While Jim Rome Burns, who came up with a theory that just might explain what's happening to the Red Sox right now. He calls it The Keki...
Look For The Large Wide Receiver At Your Door Today
You know how Pizza Hut offered to explain the importance of tipping to Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, a notorious avoider of the practice. Well, today, Roy Williams is doing his part to understand how the other 99 percent lives....
Kevin Johnson Has Little Use For Your Meat
Have you been wondering what former Phoenix Suns guard Kevin Johnson has been up to? We know we have! Well, we'd like you to sit down and write down 49,125 different guesses of how Kevin Johnson spends his time these days. We're gonna bet you don't come up with the right answer. (And we're sorry thi...
Derek Jeter Takes Care Of His Ladies
If you needed any more proof that the life of an athlete is infinitely better than yours — and, surely, you did — witness this tale from Miami, involving Derek Jeter, two woman and the Parking Validation That Never Came....
Your National League Champion Colorado Rockies
It seems surreal just to type it, but it's true: The Colorado Rockies are heading to the World Series. We shouldn't try to explain it. We'll just say this: We think the Rockies could probably beat the Patriots right now....
Searching For Comedy In The Muslim World
Hmmm. I thought Bush said that the U.S. doesn't torture?...
On The Jets, Kermit The Frog And Vinny
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....
Kelvin Sampson Is At It Again
Forgive us a moment of Illini "outrage" here, but Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson, the guy who bolted Oklahoma after making improper phone calls to recruits that ended up putting the school on probation, is at it again in Bloomington....
The BCS Apocalypse Is Coming
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....
The Packers Are Bringing Sexy Back
Before the Bears-Packers game on Sunday night, some of those celebrity types were wrangled up and escorted into a holding pen, lest their celestial superpowers overtake those of Brett Favre. In the above picture, James Van Der Beek — most famous for his role as Lincoln Rogers Dunnison in 2001's Te...
NASCAR Fans Are Apparently Contagious
We've never been to a NASCAR race, but we imagine their big drunken vats of fun. We think it would be a grand time. The House Homeland Security Committee apparently doesn't agree ... unless they've gotten their shots, anyway....
Ryan Dempster Will Make You Root For The Cubs
A reader named "Al" sends in the above picture, and the following story, after the jump....
The Bitches Get Isiah Again
Isiah Thomas, just can't catch a break, you know? It's now official: The jury has found against Isiah and the Knicks in the sexual harassment suit....