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Joey Porter's Eye On Romance
The best reason for seemingly archaic magazines like Sports Illustrated to exist is to humanize our athletes, to take them off the stat pages and bring them to life through real, vivid prose. (That, these days, runs about 1,100 words.) We can think of no other example than this week's profile of Ste...

Minor Enterprise: Save Me, Obi Wan Rabbit
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where each Wednesday we preview, and occasionally review, the great events and promotions of minor league baseball. If you have a tip about a minor league promotion, or perhaps you've been arrested for public drunkeness while wearing a mascot beaver costume, contact us...

Sprewell Is Apparently Obsessed With This Choking Thing
Despite his brief resurgence with the Knicks a few years ago, it's obvious that Latrell Sprewell was never quite the same after his famous choking incident with coach P.J. Carlesimo in 1997. Before that, Sprewell was a hot-headed slasher on a team nobody paid attention to. After that, he was Everyth...

Matt Leinart Has Himself Some Swimmers
This is Matt Leinart. He is a rookie quarterback for The Buzzsaw That Is Arizona Cardinals, though he is perhaps better known for his career at the University of Southern California, where he won a Heisman trophy and 1.5 national championships....

Finally, Daniel Snyder Finds A Colleague Shorter Than He Is
So you know how Tom Cruise — he's an actor, been in a few movies, kind of squirrely, if you ask us — got fired by his studio recently and said he would find an independent financier for his future projects....

It's The End Of A Cranky, Twerpy Era At Page 2
It appears that Dan Shanoff isn't the only Page 2 writer leaving this week. And though you may or may not think Shanoff's departure is a good thing, we're pretty sure you will be happy about this one....

Introducing The Deadspin Hall Of Fame
As disconcerting as it might be to consider or even comprehend, our little Hall of Justice here at Deadspin is not yet one year old. We started up the day before the NFL season began last year. We are completely bewildered as to how to feel about our upcoming one-year birthday: It both seems ridicul...

A Board Meeting With LT
Can you imagine being in a corporate conference room with Lawrence Taylor? Wouldn't that have to make your week? If it happened on a Monday, we'd coast around our cubicle with a happy, dancing, spritely air ... Lawrence Taylor was here! In our conference room! Fucking shit up!...

New Buzzsaw Stadium Could Be Named After Female Genitalia
You might know that the Buzzsaw's new STATE OF THE ART football stadium currently is called "Cardinals Stadium," which, considering its lack of proper monetary compensation, is not a name that's likely to stick any longer than Bill Bidwell can cash a check....

Not To Pile On The Red Sox Here, But ...
We know that often American celebrities will do advertisements in other countries — or their home countries — that they might not necessarily want to be seen doing here. But that doesn't change the bewilderment of seeing David Ortiz ... doing a boner commercial? Really? Can anybody translate?...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Based On An Inspiring True Story ...
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Let him know what you think of him....

Tony Kornheiser Should Probably Take A Deep Breath
Something that has surprised us — but probably shouldn't have — about the aftermath of Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" has been his reaction to (relatively small) criticism of his performance. For a guy who, being in the media, should be used to all this, he's lashing out a lot. H...

Koren Robinson's Expensive Night Out
You might remember, during "Monday Night Football" a couple of nights ago, broadcasters Joe Theismann, Mike Tirico and Tony Kornheiser were praising oft-troubled Vikings wide receiver Koren Robinson for his triumphant return after years of alcohol abuse. Theismann, in particular, talked about Robins...

Ain't No Party Like A Rock Chalk Party 'Cause A Rock Chalk Party Don't Stop
This is Tim Flattery. He is a freshman at the University of Kansas. He just tried out for the Rock Chalk Dance Team. And he made it....

(Almost) Everybody Loves Kornheiser
Well, the early reviews on Tony Kornheiser's debut on "Monday Night Football" are in ... and they're almost universally positive. Here's a sampling:...

Kornheiser's Big Debut On MNF; Hey, Watch Those Hands, Tirico
This tastefully choreographed publicity shot of what can probably best be described as "Mike Tirico Microphone Bukkake" signifies one thing: The new ESPN "Monday Night Football" crew is indeed kicking off tonight. Ignoring the wisdom of CBS banning sideline reporters entirely, the crew consists of...

Vince Papale's Wife Doesn't Care About Black People
There are always perils when you make a movie based on the life of a real person. Real life tends to not follow the inspiring storyline. A Beautiful Mind's John Nash might have been anti-Semetic. The heroic bounty hunter in Domino killed herself right before the movie was released. The cute love s...

Eddie Johnson Reminds You That He Does Not Molest Children
It was really not the best of weeks for Phoenix Suns broadcaster (and former Illini) Eddie Johnson. As we mentioned, Johnson was consistently confused with fellow former NBA player Eddie Johnson, who was just arrested and charged with child molestation. Problem is, most people don't know that Eddie ...

YWML Night: The Morning After
Well, "You're With Me, Leather" night was last night in Dunedin, Fla., and we received three different reports. That's good, because all three reports reported that there were only three YWML spottings there. They must have all seen each other....