top Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bonds' Anti-Climactic Trip To Shea
We've been fortunate enough, during our time here in New York, to see the Shea Stadium crowd riled up a few times, including our favorite, John Rocker's return to Shea for the first time, in June 2000, since his infamous 7 train remarks. (As was typical at the time, the crowd booed him lustily, an...

A Rugged Sport From An Untamed Land, With Matching Accessories
Now it's time to check in on the manly sport of rugby, where only the strongest of the strong survive, especially in the violent, brutal wilds of New Zealand, where the weak are usually ground up and fed to crocodiles....

A Guide For The Casual Soccer Fan
So we know there are still a lot of stragglers around these parts either uninterested by the World Cup or intimidated by their lack of inherent knowledge of the proceedings. That's OK, of course: We are not a nation who grew up gathered around the radio listening to soccer games. We have some catc...

With Nothing Between Sanity And Madness But A Thin Layer of Polyester
In truth, Kellia Ramares is dangerously obsessed. The middle-aged woman from Berkeley, Calif. has an unlikely fixation on Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, in a way that prompted us recently to purchase an extra deadbolt for our back door, for no real tangible reason, just because. But as Ramar...

Spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E, Kid
We'll confess: We love the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. We watch every minute we can, and apparently we're not alone, considering ABC is broadcasting the finals live tomorrow night in primetime. (To the network's eternal credit, Robin Roberts will be hosting, not Stuart Scott. Whew.)...

Steve Nash's Monstrous Chest Hair. See It. Love It.
A site we'd never heard of — but was probably inevitable — called Drunk Athletes has typically just posted the warmed-over Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Leinart, Dirk Nowitzki drunk pictures we've all seen countless times. Must give them credit today, though, because they dredged one up that was new to u...

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"
So, for those who might have missed it yesterday, Cleveland Indians relief pitcher Scott Sauerbeck was arrested with a female companion after weaving drunkenly through traffic and then hiding in some bushes behind a house. (That's his mugshot, there.) No explanation had been given for the sudden d...

Another Nasty, Evil Fan Speaks
Remember that story from the other day, when Cubs outfielder Jacque Jones was heckled by some Wrigley Field fans and were promptly berated by Jones' mother?...

Clemens Decides To Stay In Houston, Yep
Credit Newsday's Ken Davidoff with the big scoop: Roger Clemens is signing with the Houston Astros....

From Stoned To Brewer
On Sunday, Philadelphia's Ryan Howard hit yet another home run, his 12th of the month. The guy's hot, and, judging from his physique, pretty obviously not on steroids. But that's not the most interesting part of his homer; what we're fascinated by is whom he hit it off....

Say Goodnight, Detroit
We tend to agree with True Hoop: Something inside the Pistons looks broken. After the Heat's 11-point win over the Pistons last night, they're one game away from their first conference NBA finals ever and changing the face of the Pistons forever. (As True Hoop points out, are they really going to ...

Your All-Time Best Mascot Winner
A while back, we put together a list of the wimpiest and most unusual nicknames and mascots in sports. But earlier today, a reader sent us the team that's pretty much the hands-down winner. The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS....

What Being "Put Out To Stud" Can Really Mean
As recovering horse Barbaro continues to rake in the get-well cards and well-wishes from somewhat bewildering "fans," we take a moment to look at what being "put out to stud" really means. If Barbaro does survive all this, we all have an image of Barbaro spending his golden years humping around, b...

Bronson Arroyo, Rockin' Pitchman
Initially, though we were happy about the Bronson Arroyo to Cincinnati trade, we worried that the harsh transition to "rollicking Boston nightlife" to "downtown closes at midnight" would cause some trouble for the rocking righthander. Clearly, though, it's all worked out well, so much so that now he...

Did ESPN Suspend Neil Everett? (Well, Apparently Not)
We hate to ruin the pleasant vibe of an intensely giggle-inducing day, but multiple sources from the Bristol complex have told us "with 97 percent certainty" that anchor Neil Everett, who famously dropped a "You're With Me, Leather" reference on SportsCenter, has been suspended from the network fo...

The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....

Letters To Barbaro
As BarbaroMania sweeps the nation like a crazy horse tsunami, we pause to pay tribute to our army of commenters, who were in top form on Wednesday. Your messages to Barbaro were, um, at once inspiring and disturbing: "Get up. WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. — Jack Bauer, 35; Los Angeles, CA, USA, soon ...

You Know Schilling Plays Against Himself As Soon As The Game's Over
As you might have heard already, Red Sox legend/blowhard Curt Schilling loves video games so much that he had a video character of himself created for the game Everquest II. (Photo from Boston Dirt Dogs. If you defeat him, Sony donates money to the ALS foundation....

ESPN Bonds Chroniclers About To Be Released Into The Wild
We would say our long national nightmare is almost over, but we have a feeling the nightmare was only in our heads all along....

One Awfully Strange Way Of Celebrating
We don't know how we missed this the other evening, but apparently, with seconds left and the Mavericks all set to celebrate, coach Avery Johnson ran down the bench to make a substitution. In all his excitement and hurry, he appears to have pulled a Reggie Evans on Josh Howard....