top Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carl Lewis Cordially Invites You To Tell Him How Great He Is
Ah, Carl Lewis. Where would we be without his dulcet tones? We'd be awfully sad, that's what....
Carl Monday Will Have You Locked In Jail With The Key Thrown Away
A commenter brought this up yesterday, but we still cannot believe it: Mike Cooper, the 23-year-old dreamer with the sad misfortune of unleashing his lonely penis within a four-mile radius of Carl Monday, is being held on $500,000 bond after his arrest for indecency charges. You heard that correct...
You Think You Know A Guy ...
For those of you who might not have known, the Tennessee Volunteers have a backup quarterback named Jim Bob Cooter. No, you heard us correctly; we said Tennessee, not Stanford....
Victor Conte Is Ready To Bring Some RAWK
If you've read Game Of Shadows, you know that BALCO founder Victor Conte is a bit of a self-promotional carnival barker tool. It's part of his charm, we suppose. But you also know that Conte was once a musician, and now that his prison time is served, he appears ready to rock again....
In The Oblique Wake ...
OK, we figure we're probably ready to talk about this now....
Mark Cuban's Self Diagnosis
We would like to formally congratuate the Dallas Mavericks and their owner, the billion-dollar penised Mark Cuban, for their convincing Western Conference clinching victory Friday evening. The Mavericks have been the most consistently enjoyable team to watch this postseason, and we are pleased to ...
Do Not Give Frank Solich The Date Rape Drug
Remember that alleged email that circulated a while back about Ohio football coach Frank Solich and how his drunk driving arrest was actually a case of him being dosed with GHB? Well, it turns out ... it's absolutely true. The Sporting News has learned that Solich's attorneys do plan on fighting t...
Bonds' Anti-Climactic Trip To Shea
We've been fortunate enough, during our time here in New York, to see the Shea Stadium crowd riled up a few times, including our favorite, John Rocker's return to Shea for the first time, in June 2000, since his infamous 7 train remarks. (As was typical at the time, the crowd booed him lustily, an...
A Rugged Sport From An Untamed Land, With Matching Accessories
Now it's time to check in on the manly sport of rugby, where only the strongest of the strong survive, especially in the violent, brutal wilds of New Zealand, where the weak are usually ground up and fed to crocodiles....
A Guide For The Casual Soccer Fan
So we know there are still a lot of stragglers around these parts either uninterested by the World Cup or intimidated by their lack of inherent knowledge of the proceedings. That's OK, of course: We are not a nation who grew up gathered around the radio listening to soccer games. We have some catc...
With Nothing Between Sanity And Madness But A Thin Layer of Polyester
In truth, Kellia Ramares is dangerously obsessed. The middle-aged woman from Berkeley, Calif. has an unlikely fixation on Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, in a way that prompted us recently to purchase an extra deadbolt for our back door, for no real tangible reason, just because. But as Ramar...
Spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E, Kid
We'll confess: We love the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. We watch every minute we can, and apparently we're not alone, considering ABC is broadcasting the finals live tomorrow night in primetime. (To the network's eternal credit, Robin Roberts will be hosting, not Stuart Scott. Whew.)...
Steve Nash's Monstrous Chest Hair. See It. Love It.
A site we'd never heard of — but was probably inevitable — called Drunk Athletes has typically just posted the warmed-over Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Leinart, Dirk Nowitzki drunk pictures we've all seen countless times. Must give them credit today, though, because they dredged one up that was new to u...
Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"
So, for those who might have missed it yesterday, Cleveland Indians relief pitcher Scott Sauerbeck was arrested with a female companion after weaving drunkenly through traffic and then hiding in some bushes behind a house. (That's his mugshot, there.) No explanation had been given for the sudden d...
Another Nasty, Evil Fan Speaks
Remember that story from the other day, when Cubs outfielder Jacque Jones was heckled by some Wrigley Field fans and were promptly berated by Jones' mother?...
Clemens Decides To Stay In Houston, Yep
Credit Newsday's Ken Davidoff with the big scoop: Roger Clemens is signing with the Houston Astros....
From Stoned To Brewer
On Sunday, Philadelphia's Ryan Howard hit yet another home run, his 12th of the month. The guy's hot, and, judging from his physique, pretty obviously not on steroids. But that's not the most interesting part of his homer; what we're fascinated by is whom he hit it off....
Say Goodnight, Detroit
We tend to agree with True Hoop: Something inside the Pistons looks broken. After the Heat's 11-point win over the Pistons last night, they're one game away from their first conference NBA finals ever and changing the face of the Pistons forever. (As True Hoop points out, are they really going to ...
Your All-Time Best Mascot Winner
A while back, we put together a list of the wimpiest and most unusual nicknames and mascots in sports. But earlier today, a reader sent us the team that's pretty much the hands-down winner. The Rhode Island School Of Design NADS....
What Being "Put Out To Stud" Can Really Mean
As recovering horse Barbaro continues to rake in the get-well cards and well-wishes from somewhat bewildering "fans," we take a moment to look at what being "put out to stud" really means. If Barbaro does survive all this, we all have an image of Barbaro spending his golden years humping around, b...