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Hey Everyone, We're Back
Back in the game! We're still working the site back into shape after a week of Tumbling—I don't know if you heard, but our servers, whatever those are, got all waterlogged, what with the hurricane—but we're back now and we promise never to leave again. If you've had anything bottled up the past fe...

Tampa Bay Rookie Doug Martin Just Put In One Of The Best Rushing Performances Of All Time
His four touchdowns sets a Tampa Bay Bucs franchise record, his 250 yards made him tied for number ten on the all-time single game rushing yards list, his three touchdown runs for 45 yards or more-he went for 70, 63 and 45-made him the first ever to accomplish that feat in a game. And the runs were...

Terry Bradshaw Says Reggie Bush Was Chasing A Bucket Of Chicken
It goes without saying that Terry Bradshaw is not very bright. So it is much more plausible that this is a case of an idiot doofus that FOX allows to speak unscripted on live television in a vomit of words unwittingly comparing Reggie Bush running with some strange chasing-after-a-bucket-of-chicke...

Andray Blatche Ran Out Of Gas On A New Jersey Highway After The Nets Game Last Night
The Nets won their home-opener in Brooklyn last night amidst chants from a capacity crowd. The win itself was a little lackadaisical-remember how everyone wondered whether Deron Williams would go back to defending his position now that the Nets are good? Kyle Lowry had 28, 8 and 8-but it was a win, ...

Alabama Escapes Death (Valley): Angling For Three, A Screen Pass Goes For 28 Yards And Wins It
A great game that looked like an upset deep into the fourth quarter-if you go by point spread, was something of an upset even after the final buzzer-turned into another in a long string of Alabama victories, as the Crimson Tide won 21-17 and moved to 9-0 (6-0 SEC) on the season....

Chris Kluwe Leaves The Pioneer-Press After The Paper Publishes An Anti-Gay Marriage Editorial
Friend of Deadspin, Minnesota Vikings punter, and muse for confused idiots Chris Kluwe put his platform where his mouth is today and told the St. Paul Pioneer-Press (for whom he'd been blogging) to fuck off after they published an anti-gay marriage editorial this week. ...

How To Make Nachos: A Guide For The Daring
You go to a ballpark or amusement park or carnival and ask for some nachos, and you get a plastic tub with three compartments: a large one holding a fistful of tortilla chips, and smaller ones holding, respectively, molten cheese-food and a tablespoon of canned dog food that you are obliged to prete...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Clouds In Our Coffee
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. We're making this quick, after wringing the water out of last week's rankings....
![NBA League Pass Broadband Is Shit, And You Should Not Buy It [UPDATE: It's Even Worse Than Last Year]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
NBA League Pass Broadband Is Shit, And You Should Not Buy It [UPDATE: It's Even Worse Than Last Year]
Update (November 8): NBA League Pass Broadband is, somehow, even worse this season than it was last year. Scroll down for the full update....

Nate Silver's Braying Idiot Detractors Show That Being Ignorant About Politics Is Like Being Ignorant About Sports
In case you haven't been hanging around the benighted corners of the political internet lately, there's an idiotic backlash afoot against Nate Silver, the proprietor of the FiveThirtyEight blog who made his name as one of the sharpest baseball analysts around....

Do Airheads Make Better Quarterbacks?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Eddie House, World Champion Cockroach
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, past and present....

30 Paragraphs About 30 NBA Teams From The Basketball Prospectus Guide To The 2012-13 Season
The following previews were culled from the team chapters of the ever-incisive Pro Basketball Prospectus. Buy the book as a PDF for $9.98. It's also available in paperback. For more, check out the Basketball Prospectus website....

Dez Bryant And The Death Of Instant Gratification
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Need Help Battening Down The Hatches? Bob Vila, America's Handyman, Is Here To Take Your Questions
Worried about your windows? Wondering what to do about that leaky ceiling? Scared your basement (or your whole place) is going to be filled with water? Bob Vila—yes, that Bob Vila—is here to help. He spent nearly 20 years on television, and he's still doling out all kinds of fix-it advice on his web...
![Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Your Dumbest Of Hurricane Dumbasses Is This Bro On A Jetski In The Middle Of New York Harbor [UPDATE]
WNBC later interviewed this gent, and we'll update when we can get video of what he had to say, but here he is on his personal watercraft, braving the hurricane-force waves. [WNBC]...

How To Improvise A Meal Out Of Whatever Crap You Have In Your Pantry: A Guide For Ill-Prepared Hurricane Shut-Ins
By now you’ve taken all the standard hurricane precautions—closing the drapes, double-checking to make sure you have an umbrella in your coat closet, duct-taping your pets to the walls, and so on—but you’re at a loss when it comes to the most important challenge of a natural disaster: what to do wit...

Deadspin's NBA Shit List: Sasha Vujacic, The Infernal Machine
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Poor Bob Stoops)?
Our weekly college football shame index. ...