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I'm Worried About Quentin Tarantino's <em>Django Unchained</em>
It'd be difficult to find a bigger Quentin Tarantino fanboy than I am. It's a little embarrassing, actually; I was one of those nerds posting on alt.fans.tarantino dorkboards the year Justin Bieber was born. (The fact that Google archives Usenet forums from 20 years ago is just cruel.) I think Jacki...

Watch Mark Reynolds Strike Out 100 Times In Two Minutes
Last week, Baltimore Orioles first baseman/third baseman/designated hitter Mark Reynolds broke the record for fastest player to 1,000 career strikeouts. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, the record had belonged to Russell Branyan. But Branyan didn't get to set the record until 2010, when he w...

There Is No Best Player In The NBA: The Problem With The Basketball Hero Industry
The most unstoppable player on the winning team in the last Heat-Celtics game wasn't any one player at all. Here's an edited play-by-play:...

How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature
I once worked at an ad agency that forced employees to use an email signature. And not only did we have to have an email signature, but we had to rotate in new talking points about the company into the signature every week. "Did you know that Sturding Pooper Raper Lice was ranked a Top 50 Agency by ...

The Miami Heat's "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid As Heard Throughout History
He was there to tell Napoleon "Good job!" when the Little Emperor invaded Russia. He called the 1962 Mets season a "good effort." The young Heat fan who so enthusiastically endorsed his team's performance after last night's loss to the Celtics is no stranger to momentous occasions—in sports or oth...

It Takes A Special Kind Of Mom To Disown Her Child Over Voicemail
Once in a while, we're offered a glimpse into the dark heart of the American family. The above voicemail is one such instance. Reader Ben provides the background:...
![How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17oy9pv00sq5dpng.png)
How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [UPDATE]
An 18-year-old high school senior named Tim was bored one day last November when CNBC's sports biz guy, Darren Rovell, sent out the following tweet:...

Bristolmetrics: The Miami Heat Got More <em>SportsCenter</em> Coverage Than The Spurs And Thunder Combined
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute by minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

"Good Job, Good Effort" Heat Fan Is The Best
He could be a super-passionate Heat fan. He could be the trolliest young Celtics fan in the history of everything. It doesn't matter tonight. "Good Job, Good Effort" Kid, we salute you....

Bro-Tastic Laxachusetts Lax Bros Get The Bro-Tastic Story They Deserve From The <em>Boston Bro-be</em>
Mark this date in history, people. Years from now, you will look back at June 5th, 2012, as the beginning of the LAX BRO MOVEMENT. And you will have Boston Globe reporter Jenifer McKim to thank for it:...

"Athletic" Shawn Johnson Retires: How Gymnastics Talks About Bodies In Code
On Sunday, former world and Olympic champion gymnast Shawn Johnson, 20, retired from gymnastics. Citing a bum knee, she withdrew from this coming weekend's national championships, the first competitive step towards the 2012 Olympic team....

How To Tell Your Family That Your Cousin Is A Porn Star
Before we get into the Funbag, a quick announcement: I'll be out in D.C. tomorrow night handling the introduction at Justin Halpern's book reading at the Sixth & I Synagogue (Gregg Easterbrook would not approve). I should tell you in advance that you have to pay to go to this thing, which is a pain ...

Counterpoint: Johan Santana Is The Ideal Met To Have Thrown A No-Hitter
So, this. "Do Mets Fans Wish Someone Else Had Thrown Their First No-Hitter?"...

Our Readers' Run-Ins With Virgil, Pro Wrestling's Saddest Man
Yesterday we discovered the wonder and depression of Lonely Virgil, a single-serving Tumblr chronicling the descent of the onetime WWF and WCW "superstar" into a deserted wastleland of comic conventions and indie show parking lots. And then we heard from readers. You people have met Virgil over the ...

When You Kiss The Ladies, Do It On Camera: How Richard Dawson Beat Bob Barker And Everyone Else
Richard Dawson is not dead. He is available on Television, which is now available on the Internet....

How A Career Ends: I Was The No. 1 Pick In The MLB Amateur Draft, And Now I'm A Cautionary Tale
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today, with the MLB amateur draft beginning in a matter of hours: Pitcher David Clyde, the No. 1 pick in the 1973 draft and now an object lesson in how not to handle...

Rajon Rondo Was Surly And Surgical Last Night
Last night the Celtics tied the Heat at 2-2 in the Eastern Conference finals, which is good news if you want to watch a competitive series. It's even better news if you want to watch Rajon Rondo play incredible basketball....

Who Loves You And Who Do You Love? Richard Dawson, Fantastic '80s Movie Villain
If you were to rank the movies I have seen more than any others in my life, you wouldn't find many classics on there, no Kurosawa, no Kubrick, no Billy Wilder. (Though Some Like It Hot might come close.) The movies I have seen repeatedly are the ones I saw because they were my only options; they wer...

How The Kings Toughened Up And Conquered The NHL
There are two central oddities in the New Jersey Devils-Los Angeles Kings Stanley Cup final, which the Kings lead 2-0 after two overtime wins. One is that the Kings were an eight seed with a meager plus-15 goal differential during the regular season, an eight seed that went 5-2-3 in its last 10 game...

Tiger Woods Streaks Back To Win The Memorial Thanks To This Astounding Chip-In At 16
He's back! Maybe! While Tiger Woods is casting a somewhat-less-imposing shadow these days (blame the therapeutic shoes) his round today was nothing short of amazing—battling illness, he came from behind to win the Memorial in Dublin, increase his tour ranking to #4, and inspire the sort of expect...