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I'll Have Another Wins Preakness, Forcing All Of Us To Watch The Belmont Stakes In Three Weeks
I'll Have Another nosed out a Preakness Stakes victory over Bodemeister with a late surge, ruining plans of a million Americans who'd scheduled something other than watching horse racing on June 9th. ...

Dead Letters: You Crossed A Major Line This Week, Canine Hitler
Subject: Racism and Pit Bulls...

Will Smith Has Left And Gone Away
When did you first realize that the Fresh Prince could legitimately act? Like, in the big leagues? For once in my life, I was on the early part of the curve; my college newspaper assigned me, a green freshman, a review of Six Degrees of Separation, John Guare's adaptation of his own play about a fan...

Here's Kerry Wood's Emotional Exit From Baseball, After One Final Strikeout
We reported earlier today Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood is retiring from baseball, but the oft-injured hurler promised to make one last appearance before hanging up his cleats. That appearance came today, and it was in a legitimate spot; down 3-2 in the eighth, Wood relieved starter Jeff Samardzija and pr...

Cops Will Steal Your Girlfriend!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

The Dadspin Guide To Feeding A Baby
I have a newborn son. He needs to be fed eight times a day. Each session of feeding him takes roughly 30 minutes, 20 if I'm lucky. I am usually not lucky. That's four hours of the day dedicated to sitting in a chair with a bottle, begging the baby to drink faster. A newborn's life is dedicated to sl...

What Boxing Writing Can Teach Us About Everything: A.J. Liebling On Moore-Marciano
Between the Victorian era and the Sixties, boxing was a regular and prominent feature of American life. Knowing something about the fights—being good with your hands, or maintaining an opinion about the welterweight division or fixed bouts or how to beat a southpaw—was a very common piece of equipme...

Better Know An Umpire: Gary Darling
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Kegasus, The Beer-Loving Mascot Of The Beer-Loving Preakness, Is Actually A Sober Phony
What's the saying? If you'll keg stand for something, you'll fall for anything? Promoters of the Preakness Stakes must believe it. Turns out that Kegasus, spokesbeast for the Preakness and the best mascot in all of sports, is a sham....

The Spunky Genius Of Twitter's @LAKings, The Second-Biggest Surprise Of The Playoffs
The Los Angeles Kings are 7-1 since we asked if anyone could stop them. They're steamrolling the Coyotes like they steamrolled the Blues and Canucks, and they're a good bet to steamroll whichever team wins the Port Authority Bus Terminal Series. They have unquestionably been the best thing about the...

You Will Eat 30 Bowls Of Cereal A Day (And 11 Other Things You Should Know Before Going To College)
I got this letter from Funbag reader Anthony, which seemed rather timely:...

Yes, Chicago's ABC Affiliate Identified Metta World Peace As "Lakers Idiot"
Last night the internets buzzed about the veracity of a photo showing the lower third graphic from a TV newscast identifying Lakers ne'er-do-well Metta World Peace as "Lakers Idiot." Our pals over at Busted Coverage asked this morning if it was real, and as the video above will show you, it is in...

<em>What To Expect When You're Expecting</em> Makes Me Want To Get A Vasectomy
My wife and I love kids—we just don't want to have any of our own. That shouldn't be a big deal, but sometimes other people sure act like it is. There have been a few too many instances when my wife and I have been around other folks' babies and the inevitable question comes up: "When are you two go...

Reconstructing The Most Exciting Day In The History Of Soccer (And Maybe Sports, Period)
The final day of the 2011 MLB regular season enchanted us with its insanity; its events became a video game montage and inspired its own tag here on Deadspin. That day, however, only determined which teams would gain entry to the playoffs. By comparison, Sunday's final day of the English Premier ...

Laurie Fine Goes To A Castle To Tell The World She Didn't Hump The Ball Boy (Among Other Things)
GENEVA, N.Y.—At 11 a.m. today, Laurie Fine stood outside of a castle about an hour west of the Syracuse University apartments in which, according to a former ball boy's testimony, she had sex with Syracuse men's basketball players. Here, flanked by the sun, the tweeting birds, and the rippling water...

Better Know An Umpire: Bill Miller
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

How I Threw My Hair-Perm Superfly Spitball, By Dock Ellis: A New Animated Short
The video above is "Superfly Spitball," an animated short that grew out of the same interview—conducted by Donnell Alexander and Neille Ilel—that gave us Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No. Animated by Heidi Perry and co-produced by Thor Swift, the short will appear in a forthcoming iBook, Beyond Ellis D....

Outtakes From My Four Hours With Justin Bieber, The Swaggiest Of Swaggy Bros
I interviewed Justin Bieber for GQ—Bieber had just turned 18, so they sent me to Los Angeles to try to make a man out of him—and one of the strange things about his life is that he seems to be surrounded by adults at all times. He arrived at the studio surrounded by adults. His two closest friends a...

Here Is A Video Of Charles Barkley Using A Shake Weight In Extremely Slow Motion
TNT's Inside The NBA hosts Shaquille O'Neal and Charles Barkley are engaged in some sort of workout competition, and tonight Shaq tossed Charles Barkley a Shake Weight to help Chuck's battle of the bulk. While it doesn't appear Sir Charles understands the device too well, it's still a delicious i...

Former NBA Coach Plagiarizes Spurs Message Board For ESPN.com Column
John Carroll was the head coach at Duquesne for six years, and an assistant coach in the NBA for nine—including a 36-game stint as interim head coach for the Celtics in 2004. He's now sharing his expertise for Scouts Inc., which was purchased by ESPN in 2006. Since then Carroll's scouting reports ha...