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Is Not Good For Me. <em>The Dictator</em>, Reviewed.
1. There's a scene toward the end of The Dictator when you can see, finally, why Sacha Baron Cohen decided to wrap a whole movie around Admiral General Aladeen, the ruthless, clueless dictator of fictional country Wadiya. Without giving away any plot details, Aladeen is speaking to the United Nation...

Which Sport Has The Most Racists?
You're gonna want to be around on these here Interwebs tomorrow, for something is going to happen that will be monumental in its utter triviality. I promise you, you will TOTALLY be disappointed. In the meantime ... your letters: ...

Manny Pacquiao Says Gay Marriage Would Be Like "The Days Of Sodom and Gomorrah"
Manny Pacquiao fights Timothy Bradley, Jr. next month, and because it's not Mayweather, no one really cares. But Pacquiao has found another, more novel way of making headlines: speaking out against same-sex marriage at a time when the country is talking about little but. (Even Nets owner Jay-Z has ...

Who Was Behind @TVSportsratings, The Anonymous Twitter Account Hated By Sports TV Executives?
Over the weekend, the anonymous gadfly behind @TVSportsratings—one of the more interesting sports-biz Twitter feeds around, unless you count @darrenrovell, which you shouldn't—nuked his own account after sending the following direct message to John Ourand of SportsBusiness Journal:...

The Capitals Are A Team Without A Coach Or A Plan
Dale Hunter will not return as coach of the Washington Capitals, it was announced just two days after the Caps lost a Game 7 in the Eastern Conference semifinals. It's a shock to just about everyone but the Capitals. As GM George McPhee said, "It wasn't unexpected." ...

Sportswriter Frank Deford Is Taking Your Questions In The Comments Now
Frank Deford, of SI, Real Sports, NPR, The National, and many bestsellers, is in the comments now. He's written a new book called Over Time: My Life as a Sportswriter. It's funny and folksy and evocative of a different era in sportswriting. Read our excerpt for a taste, then buy the damn book....

David Stern Doesn't Really Give A Shit About Flopping
The short answer is, there's no short answer to flopping. It's nearly impossible to legislate intent, except in the most egregious of cases. Soccer has long failed to address even the glaring dives, and the NHL's embellishment penalties are often more controversial than the plays that don't get whis...

Dead Letters: Maurkice Pouncey Stole My Buddy's Trashcan (Plus: Lots And Lots Of Hate Mail!)
Subject: So, my bud is neighbors with Maurkice Pouncey and his trashcan went missing yesterday...

Cockblocked By A Washing Machine!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Sacha Baron Cohen Doesn't Know You're Tired of Him
One of the surest signs you've become a successful comedian is that a lot of people absolutely can't stand your shtick. When you're starting out in standup or as a performer, you're desperate to get noticed, but you also have the time to hone your act and experiment and figure out your unique thing,...

Here Are The Best Entries In Our Drunk, Sulking Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest
This fine entry kicked off our Patrick Kane photoshop contest, but somehow we knew our wise readers had more in store. And you did not disappoint. I've picked the best ones here—with special commendation for our winner at the end—because we can cram only so many images into a gallery, but keep in mi...

Everything You Need To Know About Sarah Phillips, Former ESPN Columnist And Social-Media Scammer
Last week, we published a long story about Sarah Phillips, the ESPN columnist who, among other things, used her connections to the Worldwide Leader to hijack a teenager's Facebook venture. The story developed quickly from there, getting progressively more complicated as more tipsters came forward wi...

Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....

Reconstructing Patrick Kane's Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony
On Monday we showed you photos of a soused Patrick Kane in Madison, Wis., and then we asked you if you knew more about what happened while Kane was there. We had heard some bad stories—that Kane supposedly choked a woman, that Kane supposedly said anti-Semitic things—and we wanted to know if other p...

Before Steve Kerr Sends 19-Year-Old Players Back To College, He Should Try Some Academic Research Himself
Former NBA star Steve Kerr penned a lengthy, multi-sectioned argument in Grantland this week in which he not only defends the NBA's current ban on players under age 19 but pushes for the minimum age to be raised to 20. Forcing young people to spend more time as scholar-athletes, according to Kerr, ...

A Special Graduation Message To The Class Of 2012
I had a long drive home the night that I found out my son was in grave danger of being born too early. Not long in the sense of distance, but long in an existential way, the way that a minute spent waiting in a dentist's office is far longer than a minute spent hooking up with someone for the first ...

Tim Burton Bottoms Out. <em>Dark Shadows</em>, Reviewed.
1. How was there ever a time that we considered Tim Burton weird? He certainly isn't weird now—give this guy a slight haircut and he's essentially an insurance salesman—but in retrospect, knowing the bloated, self-satisfied cookie-cutter hack Burton turned out to be makes one wonder what all the exc...

Everybody Loved Grantland
Excerpted from Over Time: My Life as a Sportswriter....

Better Know An Umpire: Brian Knight
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....