track Page 21 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Charles Barkley Doing His Best To Ignore His Gambling Problem
"It's for charity!" That's Charles Barkley's excuse as to why, only a little more than a month removed from his on-air vow to not gamble for a "year or two", will be back at the poker tables July 2nd in the "Ante Up For Africa" tournament. ("It's for charity!")...

Old Track Coaches Don't Die ... But They Don't Fade Away Either
Among the countless reasons why you shouldn't pursue a career in sports: The sports pages will always consider what you do news, even if you haven't worked in sports in years and find yourself arrested for something that has nothing to do with sports. Once a news item, always a news item....

Passersby Were Amazed By The Unusually Large Amounts Of Blood
This bloodied but unbowed runner is Alicia Follmar of Stanford, who took a spill at the start of the women's distance medley at the prestigious Penn Relays. She quickly recovered and managed to finish third....


George Brett's Eyes Are Up Here
Eye-tracking technology has finally confirmed what many an insecure male was deathly afraid of: we all, at one time or another, enjoy a cursory glance at the cock. And women don't....

We Are Shocked, Shocked To Find Steroid Use In Women's Track
Apparently there were still humans on the planet who legitimately believed Marion Jones hadn't taken anabolic steroids, but for the rest of us, Jones' "confession" was a confirmation of what any reasonable person had known for quite some time....


This Should Really Happen More Often ...
Javelin Horror Overshadows Meeting [Sporting Life]...

Way Less Charming Than Harold And Maude
There's a lot of track and field on TV today, but it's the boring kind. It's the kind where the female athletes are older than 16, and they aren't married to their 40-year-old track coaches. But don't worry, we've got that covered, too....

For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure...
1:00, NFL Europa Football. World Bowl XV. 2:00, ESPN2. LPGA Golf. Wegmen's LPGA, Third Round. 2:00, NBC. Track and Field. AT&T U.S. Outdoor Championships. 3:00, ESPNU. High School Football. Belle Glades Central (Fla.) vs. Byrnes (S.C.) 3:00, NBC. World Series of Golf. 3:00, CBS. PGA Golf. Travelers ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you rake the living room ... • NHL: NHL draft, day 1, at Columbus, Ohio. We're in front of the TV until Monday. [Versus] • Motor sports: NASCAR Nextel Cup, Toyota/Save Mart 350, practice and pole qualifying, at Sonoma, Calif. We can never find a good parking place at these things. [...

The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....

RAD: Greatest. Movie. Ever.
When Will asked if I was interested in being a guest editor for a day, I said, yes, but only on one condition: I was allowed to do a post about RAD ... the Greatest. Movie. Ever. Unfortunately, for some of you at least, Will told me to go crazy and write whatever the hell I wanted too. Woops!...

I Got Nuttin But Love For You, Baby
I was planning on posting pics of Josh Scobee's shaved scrotum and Dwyane Wade's right-ass cheek, but The Mighty MJD sort of beat me to it. Instead, I offer this odd little video of Track and Field asses set to the musical beats of Heavy D & the Boyz's Nuttin But Love....

Please Do Not Reveal The Surprise Ending Of The Asian Games
You know that Indian athlete whom you thought had won the women's silver medal in the 800 meters at the Asian Games? The one you kind of have a crush on? Well, how can we put this delicately? She actually keeps her toilet seat in the locked and upright position. Um, she never saw Steel Magnolias, ...

God, The Full Monty, And You
In Western religion, most of us figure that God has already seen us naked on multiple occasions. And he ain't that impressed. Just look at Exodus 19:21 for proof: "And the Lord said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the Lord to gaze, and many of them perish. But ...

Watch Your Beer Around Carl Lewis
The first time we ever remember hearing about steroids, as far as we can recollect, was Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson, a guilty finding made all the more hilarious because he's Canadian. (Kind of.) Well, over the weekend, Johnson revealed that he has finally, 18 years later, figured out who famously...

You Know What's Funny? She's Actually The Swimming Judge
Life as a judge in the javelin toss ain't so easy ... there is, for example, the whole issue of being hit with a javelin....

Urine Taints Marion Jones' EPO Sample
The Washington Post is reporting that Marion Jones failed a drug test at the U.S. nationals earlier this year. The test turned up a little erythropoietin, or EPO, as the cool kids call it. If her 'B' sample turns up the same thing, she's looking at a two-year ban. I'll give you a few minutes to reco...