tsa Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Youth Football Brawl, No. 671
It's a proven fact that nearly 40 percent of public fights involve a bald guy with black-and-white camouflage shorts. [Journal Times]...
Miami-FSU Fans Settle Differences With Punches To The Head, Incomprehensible Yelling
Saturday's Miami-Florida State showdown had a lot to offer: FSU getting a "big" win for the first time in a while, for instance. Or a fight in the stands, undoubtedly after someone got a little mouthy. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]...
Who Wants To See A Hockey Goon Finger An Opponent?
From Monday night, Anaheim's George Parros gives Barret Jackman a couple of loving flicks on the chin. Get a room, boys....
There Was A Lot Of Fighting In Last Night's Devils/Capitals Game
The things you learn listening to hockey announcers. Take last night's meleepalooza featuring a whole lot of fisticuffs between New Jersey and Washington once the Capitals had a four-goal lead. [Star Ledger]...
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
The Imperfect Man Pitched A Perfect Game, Lost His Pants
Welcome to Private Stache, an occasional feature in which Andy Gray, keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, spotlights the sports photography of yesteryear, a time when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable....
John Wall Is Good At Basketball, Is Better Showman
When he isn't dancing, John Wall plays some exciting point guard. Here's video of him splitting the defense not once, but twice and finishing with an absurd 360-degree lay up during a recent Wizards scrimmage. [Wizards Extreme; via D.C. Sports Blog]...
Who Wants To See Bulls Gore A Few Colombians To Death?
The money quote from this Reuters video about the annual "corraleja" celebration in Sabanalarga, Colombia:...
This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....
Arizona Fans Do <em>Not</em> Like White Trash Cracker Iowa Fans
Lesson No. 1 learned when you go to Tucson to watch your college-football team do battle with the Arizona Wildcats? If you're married to a white dude, you can talk all the race smack you want....
Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
Mascot On Mascot Violence At Ohio State (UPDATE: Brutus Speaks)
Ohio's Rufus Bobcat was lying in wait for Brutus Buckeye as he led OSU onto the field. A little harmless(?) mascot fun escalated to the point where security had to escort a man in a big foam suit off the field....
Tuneful, Preppy Version Of "Bitches Ain't Shit" Suggests Bitches May Be Shit, After All
Oh, there's nothing quite like a post-ironic a cappella version of a white man's very ironic cover of a Dr. Dre song done by a group of spunky young tarts....
Not Last Night's Winner: The Pee-Wee Football Team Who Was Flashed By This Woman
Ms. Tonya Brown walked onto a field in Cincinnati and lifted her shirt, making some young players not want to ever reach puberty. [Enquirer]...
Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Ines Sainz
As you know, Ines Sainz's rough treatment at the hands of the Jets has some crying sexual harassment and others crying no blood, no foul, or something. But what do we really know about her? Let's investigate....
Guy Grabbing A Gal's Boob, Because Why Not
By morning, someone's going to have identified this broad, and her shit's going to be plastered all over the Internet. That's life....
Finding A Silver Lining In Wayne Rooney’s Stupidity (NSFW)
If, like many of us, you met news of Wayne Rooney putting his gnarled willy inside some attention-seeking tart with a world-weary sigh, today probably hasn't been the most exciting day for football news (although it's made international week slightly more interesting.)...
Now They're Punching Each Other At The U.S. Open
A fight broke out in the stands at Arthur Ashe Stadium last night at the U.S. Open, briefly stopping play during an otherwise lackluster match between Novak Djokovic and Philipp Petzschner. Everyone seems to be brawling these days....
Finally, A Baseball Fight That Doesn't Disappoint
A night after bowling over the catcher, Nyjer Morgan gets a pitch behind him. Morgan goes after the pitcher, when — BAM! — Gaby Sanchez out of nowhere. This was a good one, folks. [MLB.com]...
Let's All Giggle Immaturely At These Fellows' Names
Headline of the young month: "Butts Arrested In Boob Murder Case."...