tua Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fuck Off, Lindsey Graham
Lindsey Graham announced the end of his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination this morning. Don’t worry! He wants you to know that he still believes in his plan to wage needless war on a distant millenarian death cult whose lifeblood is the Western antagonism that certifies its ri...
LeBron James Made This Kid's Year
During last night’s Cavaliers-Celtics game, Special Olympian Aaron Miller was honored during a timeout. LeBron James was in a team huddle while Miller was cheered at midcourt, but later went out of his way to run over to the kid and show him some love....
Gregg Popovich Requests Craig Sager Ask Him “Inane Questions” In The Sweetest Way Possible
Gregg Popovich is notorious for hating just about all interviews, but especially the league-mandated ones that take place during nationally televised games. But somewhere under that gruff exterior is a very kind man who has built a relationship with longtime TNT sideline reporter Craig Sager, and wa...
Former Teammates Perform Haka At Rugby Legend Jonah Lomu's Funeral
New Zealand rugby star Jonah Lomu died at the age of 40 earlier this month. At his funeral today, many of his former All Blacks teammates performed a traditional haka as pallbearers carried Lomu’s casket. ...
Bobby Jindal, Obsequious Twerp, Simpers The Fuck Out
Bobby Jindal will no longer pursue the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He also will not pursue Alpha Centauri, or growing a second head out of his left shoulder, or the Elder Wand. Dogs will not shoot lasers from their eyes. The sun will not be a showerhead that sprays grapefruit juice. Man...
ESPN's Promo For Mavericks-Clippers Goofs On The DeAndre Jordan Saga
The late-night standoff/sleepover that wooed DeAndre Jordan away from the Mavericks and back onto the Clippers will forever be one of the funniest moments in sports. So I’m cool with this silly ESPN promo for tomorrow night’s game between the Mavericks and Clippers, because nobody should ever stop m...
Larry Lessig Was Running For President, Now Isn't
Larry Lessig is a Harvard professor, campaign finance reform activist, and attorney; he is not seeking the Democratic nomination to the 2016 presidential election. That last bit is new, as of yesterday: He was seeking the nomination before that—didn’t you know?—and now he is not. Baby shoes, never w...
Your Next Plate Of Meatloaf Is My Treat, Lincoln Chafee
“I have had no scandals,” the ostrich man kept saying. If you angled your head just right, you could hear ... Y’know, in case you had me mixed up with that hiking-the-Appalachian-Trail fella wafting along on the breeze of his breath....
Daniel Fells Is Home And His Kids Are Thrilled To See Him
Giants tight end Daniel Fells was released from the hospital yesterday, 18 days and seven surgeries after being admitted with a MRSA infection that threatened the amputation of his foot. The infection is under control—Fells will get to keep his foot—but the best part might have been when his kids go...
Happy Trails Jim Webb, You Shiny-Eyed Jackanape
Jim Webb ended his presidential campaign yesterday. “Presidential” looks weird in that sentence, doesn’t it? Wait ... he was campaigning for President?...
Didier Drogba Is Like The Coolest Camp Counselor
I don’t know what’s more endearing: the way Didier Drogba coaxes these Montreal Impact academy kids into an impromptu dance circle, or the way the kids take to it with such gusto. Drogba may well have found his second calling....
Astros Bullpen Catcher Gives Away Gear After Being Eliminated By Royals
A fan at Kauffman Stadium posted photos on Facebook which show Astros bullpen catcher Javier Bracamonte giving away baseballs and his gear to fans after Wednesday night’s loss to the Royals....
Mike Francesa Brings Crying Mets Fan Back On Show, Surprises Him With Ticket To Game
Sunday morning, a Mets fan known as Will from Queens called into the show, and got himself so worked up about the Mets’ postseason chances that he cried. Mike Francesa brought him back on the show today and surprised him with a ticket to tonight’s game. Will sounded like he was going to cry, again....
American Ninja Warrior Is A Lot Better With Dinosaur Costumes
Even if you have no idea what American Ninja Warrior is, I promise that you will enjoy this clip of someone running through a training course in a T-Rex costume. ...
Little Football Players Abandon Game To Dance Like Champions
There’s an argument to be made that the more people learn about the inherent dangers of football, the less parents will be inclined to let their children participate in the game, thus leading to the eventual death of youth football. Thankfully, the Milford Mighty Mites have developed a plan to save ...
Jose Fernandez Teases Evan Longoria After Giving Up A Home Run
Consider this friendly exchange between Jose Fernandez and Evan Longoria a change of pace from Jonathan Papelbon’s Fightin’ Around The League tour. The Rays third baseman absolutely socked an offering from the Marlins pitcher in the first inning of Thursday’s game, and in the next inning, Fernandez ...
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Walk Into Lake Michigan Forever, Scott Walker
Wisconsin governor Scott Walker has abandoned his campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. He says he has been “called to lead by helping to clear the field,” but he was polling at around half a percent, which is to say that nobody is calling him to lead a goddamn thing. In a just w...
Police: TCU Football Players Arrested For Assault, Jacking A Case Of Keystone Light
According to numerous reports, TCU senior defensive end Mike Tuaua and redshirt freshman wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested on felony robbery and bodily injury charges for allegedly beating up fellow students outside of a party, and then stealing their case of Keystone Light....
Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre's Friendly Rivalry Is Still The Best
The best thing about any game between the Rangers and Mariners is the likelihood that it will involve Felix Hernandez and Adrian Beltre joking around and talking shit to each other. They do this all the time, and last night was no different:...