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To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you shop for toys that won't murder your children ... • College Basketball: Syracuse Orangemen vs. Florida Gators (7:30 p.m., ET) So much orange. [ESPN2] • NFL: Monday Night Football: Green Bay Packers vs. New Orleans Saints (8:30 p.m., ET). Open up a window and let in the Brees....

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What to watch while you take the turducken to glorious new heights ... • College Basketball: Coaches vs. Cancer Classic Final: Michigan vs. Duke (7:00 p.m., ET) What's not to like? [ESPN2] • NBA: Houston Rockets at Washington Wizards (7:00 p.m., ET) Wax Arenas should be good 15 and 5. [ESPN] • Colle...

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What to watch while you just admit what a gigantic nerd you are ... • College Basketball: Coaches vs. Cancer Classic: Southern Illinois vs. Duke Blue Devils (7:00 p.m., ET) Salukies, Dukies. Dukies, Salukies [ESPN2] • College Football: Miami Hurricanes vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (7:30 p.m., ET)...

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What to watch while you try to avoid being robbed by pirates ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Central Michigan Chippewas (7:00 p.m., ET) I guess Birds and Chips are okay, too. [ESPN2] • NBA: Dallas Mavericks at Houston Rockets (8:00 p.m., ET) I might have some inside info on this game...

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What to watch while you lie awake during your stomach surgery ... • NCAA Men: Richmond Spiders vs. Syracuse Orangemen (6:00 p.m., ET) Have you ever seen a spider eat an orange? [ESPN] • NHL: Minnesota Wild at Pittsburgh Penquins (7:00 p.m., ET) Is this some sort of ice basketball? [Versus] • NCAA Me...

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What to watch while you get hammered with your parents in Wisconsin ... • NCAA Men: Preseason NIT: Eastern Michigan at Purdue Boilermakers (7:00 p.m., ET) I could a use a boilermaker myself right now. [ESPN2] • NHL: Boston Bruins at Toronto Maple Leafs (7:30 p.m., ET) Did you know that Maple Leafs d...

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What to watch while you pray to your deity that the sticky stuff in the book you got from the library is just glue ... • Classic boxing: Panzienza-Haugen 1990, 7pm [ESPN2] • Racing: NHRA Powerade Drag Racing Series final eliminations, 7pm [ESPN2] • NFL: Dallas at Washington, 8:15pm, [NBC] • Reality:...

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What to watch while God continually punishes California for voting against gay marriage ... • College Football: Southern California vs. Stanford, 7pm [Versus] • College Football: Mississippi State at Alabama, 7:45pm [ESPN] • Movie: The Godfather, 8pm [AMC] • NBA: Indiana at Chicago, 8:30pm [WGN] • M...

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What to watch while you seethe with anger all weekend over this crap ... • College Football: Cincinnati Bearcats at Lousiville Cardinals (8:00 p.m., ET) How can something be a bear and a cat? [ESPN2] • NBA: Doubleheader: Denver Nuggets at Boston Celtics (8:00 p.m., ET)/Detroit Pistons at Los Angeles...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you fail your interview at the White House ... • College Football: Virginia Tech Hokies at Miami Hurricanes (7:30 p.m., ET) Something's gotta give. It might be my La-Z-Boy. [ESPN] • MLS: East Conference Final: Chicago Fire at Columbus Crew (7:30 p.m., ET) Oh, I just bought a new ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you move on with your life after politics ... • College Football: Central Michigan Chippewas at Northern Illinois Huskies (8:00 p.m., ET) Fire up, Chips! [ESPN2] • NBA: Doubleheader: Portland Trail Blazers at Miami Heat (8:00 p.m., ET); Houston Rockets at Phoenix Suns (10:30 p.m....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you get choked up over a damn space robot ... • College Football: Ball State Cardinals at Miami Red Hawks (7:00 p.m., ET) I still think PCs are better than MACs. [ESPN2] • Cards: World Series Of Poker, Final Table (9:00 p.m., ET) I wonder who wins? [ESPN] • Movie: "Midway" (8:00 ...