tv Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>Empire </i>Is Back, And More Ridiculous Than Ever
The second season of Empire opens with a #FreeLucious concert staged as a show of support for incarcerated Empire Records CEO Lucious Lyon (Terrence Howard). Bill Clinton is said to be in the crowd (“if he wants his wife to get elected”), Swizz Beatz is onstage, and Al Sharpton is backstage, along w...
<i>Heroes Reborn </i>Is A Terrible Idea That Might Turn Out Great Anyway
So a half-decade later, Heroes returns to NBC tonight as Heroes Reborn, and you probably don’t really give a damn. I get it....
Tracy Morgan's Emmys Speech Dusted Off One Of His Best, Bawdiest Jokes
At the 2014 Emmys, Jimmy Kimmel promised us that Tracy Morgan would be back onstage next year, and last night, Morgan made good on that promise, presenting the final Emmy of the night. Of course, his touching speech focused on the June 2014 car accident that put him in an eight-day coma, and the 15 ...
<i>South Park</i> Accurately Sums Up Ballghazi In A Cartman Dream Sequence
As you knew it would, South Park took on Ballghazi in tonight’s 19th season premiere. Cartman sums up the eight months spent investigating, millions of dollars, and god knows how many hours talking about whether Tom Brady ordered a small amount of air be removed from footballs in an appropriately so...
How To Fix Your TV If You Couldn't See The Timeouts On <i>Monday Night Football</i>
A lot of people complained last night that ESPN’s new, flashy graphics system for Monday Night Football no longer showed how many timeouts each team had remaining. That’s not true! As you can see above, the timeouts are clearly displayed beneath each team’s logo. If you couldn’t see those, then your...
Scott Van Pelt Brought Back Ballimerese To Bring Tim Kurkjian To Uncontrollable Laughter
One of Scott Van Pelt’s recurring bits on radio was taunting fellow Maryland native Tim Kurkjian with that curious dialect known as “Ballimerese”—something that repeatedly made Kurkjian giggle like a little girl. Van Pelt brought it back tonight on SportsCenter, and it had the same effect....
Someone Finally Completed <i>American Ninja Warrior</i>'s Final Course
American Ninja Warrior, a sort of modern and souped-up version of American Gladiators, has been on TV for seven seasons without anyone ever making it to Stage 4 of Mt. Midoriyama—let alone completing it. Until tonight....
Here's Will Ferrell's At-Bat In <i>Ferrell Takes The Field</i>, Which Was A Drag Otherwise
Spoiler Alert: They don’t really let Will Ferrell pitch in Ferrell Takes the Field, his stunt HBO doc where he plays every position (plus designated hitter) for 10 different MLB teams during one day of 2015 spring training action in Arizona. No, in his 90-second stint with the Dodgers, he throws one...
And Now, Our Favorite <i>Key & Peele</i> Sketches
For nearly four years, Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele have been among the best at dishing out incisive racial comedy to a generation that sorely needed it. Whether making lighthearted jabs at pop-culture trends or tackling serious political issues, their sketches were at their best when they we...
Dan Patrick Returns To <i>SportsCenter</i>; Still Manages A Subtle, Lasting Burn
Dan Patrick returned to ESPN’s SportsCenter set tonight for the first time since leaving the Worldwide Leader in 2007. But lest you think his appearance to commemorate Scott Van Pelt’s first episode of the new solo show would bring tidings of a more lengthy homecoming for one half of the “Big Show”,...
The New Miley Cyrus Record Is Exhausting, But Might Be Worth It Anyway
So what we’ve got here is Miley Cyrus singing a morbid piano ballad called “Pablow the Blowfish.” She’s wearing fluffy unicorn pajamas and playing an electric piano in an ersatz cornfield; additional props include a stuffed unicorn on a stool and an inflatable Super Mario Bros. power-up mushroom. Ve...
Surprise Military Reunions At NFL Games Reach Peak Bullshit
During last weekend’s preseason St. Louis Rams game, a familiar ritual played out: With a stadium full of fans and a television audience watching, Rams cheerleader Candace Ruocco Valentine was surprised by the arrival of her husband August Valentine, a Marine Corps first lieutenant, who had just ret...
<i>Mr. Robot </i>Telegraphed Its Punches And Knocked Us Out Anyway
The funniest thing about Mr. Robot, USA’s deeply unfunny and usually badass new sullen-hacker dystopian drama, is all the passwords, and how easy it is for a sullen hacker to crack them. Your hero is Elliot Alderson, who has crippling social anxiety and a black hoodie permanently grafted to his body...
RGIII Has A Concussion, But You Wouldn't Know It From Official 'Skins TV
Tonight’s official presentation of the Detroit-Washington game on the Redskins Broadcast Network left viewers understandably confused about Robert Griffin III’s condition after leaving the game tonight in the second quarter due to injury. That’s mostly because the network repeatedly asserted the tea...
IFC's <i>Documentary Now!</i> Is A Serious Parody Of A Too-Serious Genre
Tonight, IFC premieres Documentary Now!, a new parody series from Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, and Seth Myers. Its first target? Grey Gardens, the 1976 classic about mother-daughter socialite shut-ins and Kennedy relatives. It’s pretty spot-on, as these things go....
Here Is The Full 2015-16 NBA National TV Schedule
The NBA has released its full 2015-16 schedule, so head on over here or to your favorite team’s website to micro-analyze it. Below you will find a full listing of the national TV schedule, as well as a tally of the number of times each team appears on national TV. But first, a few observations....
<i>True Detective </i>Season Two Lines, Ranked
19. “That’s one off the bucket list. Mexican standoff with actual Mexicans.”...
Man In Randall Cunningham Jersey Beats Shit Out Of Hitchhiking Robot
Prayers up for hitchBOT, the hitchhiking robot that aspired to see the entire country via the kindness of strangers and made it as far as Philadelphia before getting curbstomped. Thanks to surveillance footage, we know how hitchBOT ended up as a pile of limbs: a brief clip shows a man in what appear...
Let <i>True Detective</i>'s Total Absurdity Wash All Over You
Apologies if these thoughts on last night’s penultimate episode of True Detective come off as disjointed and confusing, though that would be a fitting homage to this entire season, but man, this show is a marvelous disaster. That lousy first episode was a sign of things to come....