tv Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One T-Shirt Stood Out In The West Virginia Crowd
In West Virginia, the Mountaneers/Herd matchup is a big fuckin game. At last check, WVU was down to Marshall 7 to fuckin 3. (H/T Nine tipsters within eight minutes)...

The New Grantland TV Commercial Is Flirting With You
Honestly, I think they're just fucking with us now. If you're curious, the lady's monologue is a riff from Katie Baker's Grantland debut. [SportsGrid]...

Couch Burning Is No Longer Encouraged At West Virginia
WVU students burn couches. They burn them because the basketball team won. They burn them because the football team won. They burn them because the football team lost. They burn them because Bin Laden was killed. They burn them because it snowed. WVU students burn couches. It's what they do....

Ernests Gulbis, Latvian Tennis Playboy, Says "Everybody Should Spend A Night In Prison" And Learn A Lesson
The New York Times has a story today on Ernests Gulbis, who defeated Mikhail Youzhny at the U.S. Open yesterday. Gulbis has decided to start living clean and serious at age 23, and this makes us sad. He is capable of so much more debauchery, and so many more hungover early exits. Yet now he's lookin...

West Virginia Man Who Went Streaking Near NASCAR Race Also Caught With Live Raccoon
Joshua Emery Greene looks bemused in the mugshot featured in the above video. We find this an appropriate emotion, because we're bemused too. Why did he go streaking in a parking lot off Route 394 in Bristol, Tennessee, where the Irwin Tools Night Race took place on Saturday? And why was he carryi...

The Longhorn Network Launches Today, And Nobody Can Watch It
Tonight, at 6pm Austin time, the controversial Longhorn Network will go on the air. 24-hour coverage will start immediately, giving you the latest and most in-depth UT coverage available. And there's absolutely no way for you or anyone else to watch....

ESPN Is Airing This TV Commercial For Grantland
Huh. It's like Jim Jarmusch meets The Sting meets a Klondike bar....

WVU Finds Their Long-Sought Quarterback: Some Guy
We've chronicled Dana Holgorsen's long fruitless search for a warm body to stick on the depth chart, culminating in an emailed plea to the entire student body. Well, the Mountaineers have finally found their man:...

Drunkenly Pissing On The 11-Year-Old Daughter Of A Cancer Patient Will Cost You A Shot At The Olympics
And we can all thank Robert Vietze for teaching us that valuable lesson. Vietze, 18, literally pissed away his spot on the U.S. Ski Team during a red-eye flight from Portland to New York this week. Shorty after takeoff, Vietze staggered five rows in front of him and just started whizzing on the leg...

Seven Wonderful Minutes Of An Older Argentinian Man Yelling At His Soccer Match On TV
No Spanish knowledge is required to enjoy this one. Some feelings are universal. Although it may help to know the meaning of the oft-used phrase: "la puta que te pario."...

"Football Cops" With Peyton And Eli Manning Gets A Trailer
The photos we were sent from their Brooklyn shoot last month weren't misleading: the Manning Brothers play mustachioed maverick cops, armed only with their department-issue footballs....

"Too Much To Drink And Chasing Pussy": A Tour Of The W.V. Bars In Which Dana Holgorsen Allegedly Got Shitfaced
I'm a West Virginia native, and I have been to a great many bars in that state, so I know whereof I speak when I say that Dana Holgorsen, the new, occasionally sober head coach of the Mountaineers, has excellent taste. As you might remember, Holgorsen has been involved in several "alcohol-related in...

Peyton And Eli Manning Are: <em>Football Cops</em>
Our tipster grabbed these photos and videos of the Brothers Manning filming in Greenpoint, Brooklyn last month. (He then promptly gave them to TMZ, which posted them much faster than we did.)...

Rejoice: Recently Cancelled Glenn Beck Joins Forces With MLB's Media Arm
Glenn Beck and Fox News recently announced that his show there was ending. Aw, said few. Beck plans on launching his own multiplatform media network after Fox, and word came today that the good folks at MLB Advanced Media would stream the video....

West Virginia's Toxic Circus: The Boozer, The Lame Duck, And The Vengeful Coach's Wife
West Virginia's coaching situation is, to put it as mildly as we can, a total clusterfuck. Whoever in the athletics office thought it would be a good idea to hire Dana Holgorsen as head-coach-in-waiting, while still keeping current coach Bill Stewart around for another year, ought to find themselves...

Jimmie Johnson's Crew Chief: "You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me," To National Fox Audience
In all fairness, the car Chad Knaus was watching did appear to, you know, blow up at tonight's Coca-Cola 600. Johnson finished 28th. Kevin Harvick won, after Dale Earnhardt, Jr., who was leading, ran out of gas on the last lap. I'm told it's quite expensive these days....

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

Shawn Marion Is Inexplicably Making A Reality Show Pilot
"The Matrix" must have let his nickname go to his head. Because he's filming a reality show that no soul could possibly want to see....

MLB Will Probably Ask Us To Remove That George W. Bush Foul Ball Video, So Here's A Shitty Drawing I Made
You can watch it here, for now, but I think my drawing better conveys the emotional truth of the moment. Hope you like it....

These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB's Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help
The MLB video war continues, quietly, even though we've kind of been actively ignoring one another for some time now. We received a lot of initial interest in our plan to take down the iron-fisted video regime, but then I guess it rained everywhere in America for two weeks and everyone's practice ...