tweet Page 120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Seattle Sounders Fan Salutes You, Two Fingers At A Time
Your morning roundup for Nov. 3, the day we learned you're never to old to be a male prostitute. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Albert Pujols Dedicating A Statue Of Albert Pujols At Albert Pujols's Restaurant, Pujols 5 Westport Grill
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 2, the day most of those "sexy" studies turned out to be frauds. Photo of Pujols dedicating Pujols statue via Big League Stew. H/T to Mike T, who also suggested the perfect headline. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Getting An Answer Out Of Bill Belichick Is Fucking Frustrating
Thrill to the master of stonewalling doing his damndest not to say anything interesting, or really anything at all about Julian Edelman's assault and battery arrest. The Boston papers sent their general reporters and not their sports writers to Belichick's presser so they could ask the tough quest...

Northern Illinois Linebacker Suspended For Sacking Opposing Band Member
When you're on a defense that gives up 60 points in regulation, that's reason enough to be suspended. But NIU linebacker Jamaal Bass earned his suspension the hard way, by knocking over a Toledo band member before the matchup Tuesday night. Huskies coach Dave Doeren announced the suspension this a...

The Year Of The Quarterback Is The Year Of The Pass Rusher
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Why A Former ESPN VP Filed A Pre-Emptive Lawsuit Denying He Masturbated In Front Of Erin Andrews
Last month, ESPN announced it was eliminating its bi-coastal, 25-person Content Development department, which was responsible for the network's 30 for 30 series, among other things. The head of the group, Keith Clinkscales, ESPN's senior vice president for content, development, and enterprise, left ...

If You Knock On Her Door At 6 A.M., Serena Williams Will Retreat To Her Panic Room
"Serena Williams fled to the panic room in her Los Angeles mansion when she mistook a sports association drug tester for a dangerous intruder." Also notable: Serena Williams has a panic room. [NY Post, via TMZ]...

Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...

Matt Barnes And I Would Like To Clarify That Neither Of Us Are Dating Eva Longoria
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: we would like to categorically deny these pernicious, unfounded rumors....

At 2:16 This Afternoon, John Beck Got Sacked Again
That's when the NFL sent out their weekly stat corrections, upping the number of times the Bills brought down Beck to 10. Nick Barnett and Danny Batten share credit....

This Is What ESPN.com Under Attack Looks Like
The #occupytebow comment feed over on ESPN's now-regrettable post, "Time for Elway to think post-Tebow," is still going after three days. If anything, it's only gotten more spirited. You can watch in real time on the post, but we also went ahead and captured a bit of the glory for those of you who...

What Do NFL Scouts Think They Know About Quarterbacks?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Lokomotiv Yaroslavl Plane Crash Was Due To Pilot Error, Drugs, Shitty Working Conditions
Russian aviation watchdogs announced their findings in a two-month investigation into the crash that wiped out an entire KHL team. Despite an aging airplane that had raised numerous safety red flags, the accident is chalked up to pilot error. But it's operator Yak-Servis who takes most of the blame....

Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...

Beer Down In Calgary!
Lee Stempniak transmitted a check through Alexander Edler and the plexiglass to knock a crisp frosty brew out of the hands of one unlucky fan, who really should have waited for a break in the action to walk back to his front row seats, the entitled jackass. And if you're with that guy behind you, ...

It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....

Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...

Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...