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Wisconsin Would Prefer Its Student Season-Ticket Holders Knock It Off With The Vulgar Chants
In a letter addressed to all "UW Student Season Ticket Holders," University of Wisconsin AD Barry Alvarez and Head Football Coach Bret Bielema were sure to point out that "singing 'Buttercup' and 'Sweet Caroline' [during the Nebraska game] was fantastic." Which it surely was....

When They Came For The Trumpet Player In Section J, Blue Hens Fans Spoke Up
There’s some trouble a’brewing down in Newark, Del., home of the mighty University of Delaware Fighting Blue Hens. Seems as if during Saturday night’s game against William & Mary, some university lawmen strode all the way up to Row Q of Section J to escort trumpet-tooter Matt Delaney from the premi...

Surfer Twatster Hannah Cornett Will Catch Those Who Distributed Her Facebook Updates, Facebook Status Says
We haven't heard from our girl in a while, since she's been very reluctant to contact us, except through her attorney, of course. Some good news to report from her dizzy little world: whatever treacherous online ordeal she feels she's endured since our first story ran, she's now got the swift arm of...

Your Brewers-Cardinals Game Four Open Thread
Randy Wolf (13-10, 3.69) takes the mound for the Brewers. Kyle Lohse (14-8, 3.39) does the same for the hometown Cardinals, who are attempting to take a 3-1 NLCS lead....

This Evening: Everybody Sucks For Luck
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 13, the day we saw the new Muppets trailer. Photos via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Michael Strahan Says The Jets Should Sign Tiki Barber Now
So tweeted the former Giant defensive end today, about his former teammate. "Watching these shows talk about Jets and say they need a running game. Green hasn't been what they expected so go sign Tiki Barber! #Done." Hey, speaking of done, Tiki Barber!...

Dustin Pedroia Says Yeah, Shit Happens, But That September 11 Yacht Party Was Amazing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Regrets, Pryor's had a few....

Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez Ate A Piece Of Grilled Chicken In The Locker Room Today
"It's General Tso's chicken," Hernandez told reporters. "It's grilled, so it's pretty healthy."...

Your (Belated) Rangers-Tigers Game Five Open Thread
This is it for Detroit, which has to win the next three in succession to clinch the AL pennant. The Tigers have Justin Verlander going, while the Rangers are countering with C.J. Wilson. It's already 1-0 Texas in the bottom of the first, thanks to a Josh Hamilton sacrifice fly after Ian Kinsler led...

Who's Fatter, Josh Beckett Or Jessica Simpson?
If you were looking for a low point in the Boston Globe's ongoing coverage of the Boston Globe's version of the Boston Red Sox collapse, look no further! (We hope!) The paper now has a slideshow entitled "Did the Red Sox pack on the pounds?"...

Are Things Going Any Better For John Henry Over At Liverpool?
It's been almost exactly one year since Henry's Fenway Sports Group purchased Liverpool, so to mark the occasion, Henry agreed to a rare lengthy interview with the Guardian. Both parts are well worth your time, but let's draw out the interesting stuff....

A Not-At-All Homoerotic Tribute To Shoulder Pads
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Hustler Produces ESPN Sex Parody Featuring Erin Andrews, Skip Bayless, Jim Rome, And More (NSFW)
Hustler's "This Ain't ESPN XXX" DVD is scheduled to be released the end of October and it is full of absurd Bristol-boinking fantasies that would make most ESPN fan fiction writers blush: "Her anchor partner John Buccigross has the hots for this blonde headed piece of ass and he fucks her right on t...

Streaker At High School Football Game Gets Thumped By Security As He Tries To Hop A Fence (Video)
No big deal. Happens all the time. [Busted Coverage, via The Big Lead]...

This Has Never Happened Before In The History Of Ever: Rick DiPietro Is Hurt
Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro took a puck off the facemask during practice yesterday, and will not suit up for tonight's game. Doctors have not ruled out a concussion, nor the probability that he'd slip and fall in the parking lot if he were to play....

"Radiohead Wouldn't Play In The Big East Either": Occupy Wall Street Has An "Occupy Herbstreit" Photobomber
A brilliant human has launched a Tumblr called "Occupy Herbstreit," which features photos of an anonymous photobomber among the protesters in lower Manhattan, holding College GameDay-inspired signs overhead. Here's a sampling....

Italian Club Invokes MLK In Letter Begging Obama To Send Kobe Over
Just over a week ago, the Italian basketball club Virtus Bologna reported that it was working "very intensely" with Kobe Bryant's representatives to bring the Lakers star overseas during the NBA lockout. There were multiple points at which it was "almost a done deal." This week, the almost-done-deal...

Great Sex Can Literally Blow Your Mind And Wipe Your Memory Clean
According to a case study in the September issue of the Journal of Emergency Medicine, a husband was so good at pleasuring his 54-year-old wife, she temporarily couldn't remember the previous 24 hours—a condition called transient global amnesia....

SprtsCntr: And Now, Deep Thoughts With Eduardo Perez
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Pete Carroll Pleads With LeBron, Because Apparently The Seahawks Need His Help To Underachieve
Your morning roundup for Oct. 13, the day we learned just how dangerous some sex toys can be. Photo via @PeteCarroll. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....