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Watch Marquis Maze's Incredible 83-Yard Punt Return For An Alabama Touchdown
Marquis Maze goes back and forth across the field slalom-style en route to an 83-yard punt return for a touchdown. Alabama currently leads Arkansas 31-14....

This Week In Magnificent Mugshots
This is Nicholas Fiumetto. He's one of three 19-year-olds from Covina, Cal. who got caught stealing 30 packs of Tecate the other day. Well, that's an oversimplification. Here's a portion of the L.A. Times story about Fiumetto et al's attempted flight from justice:...

Notre Dame Really Wanted To Lose Today, But Pitt Wouldn't Let Them
Notre Dame appeared to be hellbent on working themselves to a 1-3 record today, but the Pitt Panthers would have none of that. The game looked to have all the makings of another terrible Notre Dame loss:...

Former Orioles Pitcher Mike Flanagan Threatened To Commit Suicide Several Times Before Doing So
The Baltimore Sun is reporting, based on police records released via Public Information Act request, that Cy Young Award winner and Orioles broadcaster Mike Flanagan's suicide did not come as a complete surprise to those closest to him....

Maradona's Totally Sorry About Kicking That Fan In Dubai
"'I am emotional, this is my nature. I've always been like this as a player and coach. Sometimes I feel like I'm a player of Al Wasl. The sign was a message from my grandson and daughters in Manchester and Argentina and it means they support me in whatever I do. I apologise to the fan I hurt but I...

Dodgers Game Marred By Giants Fan Trying To Interrupt The "Don't Stop Believing Guy"
The blog "Vin Scully Is My Homeboy" started its Friday off with a post titled, "Giants fan tries to disturb 'Don't Stop Believin' Guy,'" with DSBG being somewhat of a Chavez Ravine Idol contestant who performs Journey for his fellow attendees. The horror. And at the last home game of the season, n...

They Cried Tears Of Joy And Praised The Heavens When The Brewers Clinched A Division Title
Your morning roundup for Sept. 24, a day you no longer have to worry about getting hit by a falling satellite unless you already got hit, in which case wouldn't be reading this because you're not alive to fret. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Tiger Eat Tiger
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

C-Roll Stash: Cleavage At The Ballpark, Cleavage At The Boxing Match, And An O.J. Simpson Cameo (NSFW)
We are nearing the end of the C-Roll footage, America. After today, only a single clip remains, so please, gather 'round to celebrate this disgusting national treasure. We've seen it all, haven't we? SkyDome sex, cheap seat sex, bleacher blowjobs, and possible flagpole sex. And you can't un-see an...

In Which Will Carroll, At The Bottom Of The Sea, Hits Himself With A Hammer
To protect his brittle ribs and gooey lung center, Tony Romo will suit up with a flak jacket made of Kevlar. But if you're like me, you're wondering: how exactly does one use Kevlar to protect oneself? Well, let me tell you: you put it between you and the thing hitting you....

This Evening: Erin Andrews Gets Ready For Game Day At WVU
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 23, the day we were reminded again to update our Facebook privacy settings. H/T to Michael for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pearl Jam Fan Notes: Eddie Vedder Hates Me; Or, How To Kill Your Idols With A Used Condom In A Sorbet Cup
I'm sure Ed doesn't hate me in a visceral sense or even knows my name or the name of the site, but that's what it felt like, yesterday afternoon, when Sony called to tell me that a Pearl Jam-related post needed to come down immediately. "What happened?," I asked Sony Guy on the phone. He was vague, ...

When Rap Ruled The World: A White Boy MC's Photo Album, 1986-1991
Ed. note: Inside, you'll find some of Peter Nash's (formerly Prime Minister Pete Nice) personal memory box from his early days as the cane-wielding MC of hip-hop group 3rd Bass. It's full of gaudy jewelry, tough-guy posing, unfortunate fades, and candid shots of some of the most famous hip-hop stars...

Yes, The Marlins Let "Leo Nunez" Play For Several Months Even Though They Knew He Forged His Identity
"A person familiar with Nunez's immigration status told The Associated Press on Thursday that his real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, and he's 29, a year older than listed in the team media guide. The person also said the Marlins have been aware of the issue for several months." [AP, via ESPN]...

I-Team: Was Bruce Bochy Giving Interviews On The Shitter Last Night At Dodger Stadium?
Tipster Andrew sent us the above photo of the San Francisco Giants manager and added this: "Check out this screen shot of Bruce Bochy's postgame interview. Notice anything odd in the background? Is it possible the man is giving an interview while dropping a deuce?"...

Craig James And Jesse Palmer Share A Moment
The broadcast partnership that dare not speak its name. [From reader Lucas]...

The Surfer Grifter Surfaces, Hires Attorney, Threatens Lawsuit, Etc.
And...exhale. Not-so-pro surfer Hannah Cornett has retained the services of a Beverly Hills attorney named Michael Kernan to pull together a sloppy cease-and-desist letter to James Alesi (credit card sucker) and A.J. Daulerio (me!), accusing us of "libel, false claims, negligent misrepresentation" a...

The Fake Outrage Over Fake Injuries; Or, How To Piss On An NFL Sideline Without Anyone Seeing
Faking injuries in the NFL is a time-honored method of stopping the momentum of an opponent and giving your own team a much-needed breather. It's like calling a timeout in basketball when the other team is on a big run. Since football doesn't have the luxury of all those silly 20-second timeouts, th...

Billy Beane On His Pet Names For Brian Sabean
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: "Sabey Sabes" was a Hollywood invention. The real one was much worse....

The Chicago Baseball Experience: Come For The Losing, Stay For The Unsanitary Food
"Health inspectors who visited U.S. Cellular Field and Wrigley Field during the baseball season found dozens of violations at concessions, including food being kept at the wrong temperature and poor hygienic practices by some servers." [Chicago Tribune]...