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Calculating The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air's Usage Rate, And What It Can Tell Us About Ball Hogs
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today we have some b...

It’d Take Trey Parker A Million Years To Lose, And Other Statistical Oddities Of <em>BASEketball</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: The offensivel...

Jerking Off In Congress: A Bipartisan Debate
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering semen, allergies, boogers, and more....

Who Wants To See What The Chinese Dunk Contest Looks Like?
You know you were curious....

Bruce Pearl Between Rock And Hard Place
Your morning roundup for March 22, the day our road signs finally warned us of the zombie menace....

Barry Bonds Is Probably Guilty Of Being A Prick
The prosecution in the case, which begins jury selection today, really wants to make this trial about that. But it's not. It's not about steroids either, actually. It's a perjury case, to determine whether he was lying when he said he didn't take illegal things, which might not have been illegal at ...

Today's Viewing Guide For March Madness: Office Tricks, Game Schedules, And Gus Johnson
Day One of the 2011 NCAA tournament was The Best Day One Anyone Can Remember, which no one ever says! But there were four buzzer-beaters and a sad bird, which is a pretty damn good day. Here's your guide to watching in the workplace, along with an updated broadcast-announcer schedule for today's act...

An Advanced Statistical Analysis Of Jimmy Chitwood's Basketball Performance In <em>Hoosiers</em>
This is Regressing, a numbers-minded column by our clever friends at the Harvard College Sports Analysis Collective. Over the next few days, they'll be applying rigorous statistical analysis to some of the finest basketball movies in the history of cinema (and also Hoosiers). Today: Calculating Ji...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Captain Lou Albano
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: Captain Lou Albano, who died of a heart attack in 2009....

The Officeworker's Viewing Guide To March Madness
Since we did our very best to ignore the play-in games, the NCAA men's tournament officially kicks off with Clemson-West Virginia today just after noon EDT on CBS. In the olden times, watching the opening game required a 3D television (and by that I mean, of course, one that was more than three inch...

Jenn Sterger Sues Her Manager To Recover Favre Texts
Sterger filed suit yesterday in Hillsborough County circuit court, in an attempt to prevent Phil Reese from writing a book about the Brett Favre saga, and to recover the mysterious "Sterger Materials."...

Revenge Of The Bullied: Casey Becomes An Icon
It's been a day since the Internet was introduced to Casey Heynes, the Australian kid who struck back against a bully. In Internet time, a day's an eternity, so let's bring you up to date....

The Ultimate Anti-Bullying PSA: Kid Fights Back With Devastating Body Slam
Casey's had enough. The bigger kid on the right "has been bullied his whole school life," says the video description, "and this is what happens when he snaps!!" Hence the jackknife powerbomb. The Facebook commenters are universally in his corner, as we all should be, but the school didn't see it t...

Washington Wins Pac-10 With Buzzer-Beater, Gus Johnson Loses His Shit
That's the Huskies' Isaiah Thomas with the jumper to nip top-seeded Arizona in overtime, and take the Pac-10. Gus Johnson melting down? Must be March! (Now's the time we remind you that CBS refuses to put Gus on the Final Four.)...

NFL Talks Break Down, And Football Seems A Long Way Away
The NFLPA no longer exists. You can check it in the customized 404 message that went up on their website at 5pm....

Hiking The Appalachian Trail In 4 Minutes
Kevin "Fester" Gallagher took six months to hike the 2,181 miles from Georgia to Maine. Each day, he took 24 photos of successive steps. His film, Green Tunnel, consists of 4,000 physical slides scanned in and set to music, and provides the closest thing to physical exercise you're going to get to...

Soccer Player Tackles Streaker, Gets Red Carded For His Trouble
Come with us to Conference South, the sixth level of the English football pyramid. During yesterday's game, Dorchester Town defender/manager Ashley Vickers was sent off for bringing down a mankini-wearing fan. It's hard to blame him: Conference South security apparently consists of calling the loc...

The Broken Phenom, The Overzealous Enforcer, And Some New Ammo For The Anti-Fighting Crowd
Try to justify the institution of the enforcer in hockey to an outsider, and you'll likely pull out the usual arguments. It's about protection, about fear, about retribution. So yes, on a basic level, it's about pain. But it's never, never about injury. So with two players still out in the wake of a...

Without Good Faith: Explaining The Critical Ruling Against The NFL
In briefest terms, a federal judge's ruling found that the NFL's curious broadcast contracts for the 2011 season amount to a "war chest" the league improperly obtained specifically for a lockout. But what does this mean for fans, players and owners, and what happens next? Let's try to make a very co...

How Roger Ebert And Charlie Sheen Will Help You Overcome Your Fear Of Death
Let's get right to your letters. I'm full of tiger blood....