tweet Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is One Of Few Quotes That Improves A Story About A Man Who Stole 10,000 Pairs Of Panties
"He smelled them all the time even while driving," said police Major General Saroj Promcharoen. [Daily Telegraph] (H/T Fox5)...
As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...
It Seems As If The Big Yankees Fan Has Mentally Left The Ball Park
Explains Michael Lapayower, "This is a parody of 'Sh*t Girls say.' All MLB Baseball fan's say Let's go (there favorite team name). I'm sure there's a bunch of things I didn't say. Leave them below in the comments."...
This Week In Great Quotes Linking Soccer Injuries To Sexual Frequency
"The girlfriend of German-Ghanaian footballer Kevin Prince Boateng has offered Italian media an unusual explanation for his recent thigh strain: the 24-year-old AC Milan midfielder loves sex too much. 'He's always [injured and unable to play] because we have sex seven to ten times a week,' model a...
Here's What Happened To That Batshit Crazy Benedictine University Recruiting Video (UPDATE)
UPDATE: The video is back!...
Tampa Bay Lightning Fire Mascot Who Was Tackled By Boston Fan
This is no laughing matter. You know it's a big story when the "10 News Investigators" are on the case. And there's a Facebook page in support of the cause. Free ThunderBug! [WTSP, via Puck Daddy]...
Not Even The Greek League Wants Matt Howard
Via David Woods: "Former Butler forward Matt Howard has been released by his Greek team, Olympiakos." Rest in peace, grit. We'll miss you....
Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...
A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...
Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...
This Is Encouraging, Wizards Fans: Andray Blatche Says Randy Wittman Is "The Same Coach As Flip"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the rudderless Wizards drift closer to the rocks....
Ravens Defensive Coordinator Chuck Pagano Is The New Colts Head Coach
So report Pro Football Talk and Bob Kravitz. He's the fourth Ravens DC to run a team in recent years. With forebears like Mike Nolan, Marvin Lewis, and Rex Ryan, Pagano's destined for 8-8!...
The New England Patriots Are Not Out For Revenge
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
This College Hockey Announcer Pauses, Ostensibly To Choose The Perfect Words, And Then Says "Dick Around With The Puck" (UPDATE)
Wisconsin played University of Minnesota-Duluth in December. The game, broadcast on the Big Ten Network, was a 3-3 tie. Somehow we only got this video now, courtesy of reader Daniel. Hey, beats Joe Micheletti....
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
Ray Lewis's Postgame Speech Might Actually Make You Feel Sorry For The Ravens
You know what's boring? The scene in a winning locker room. The real holy grail is seeing a team after they've just been kicked in the balls, like Baltimore after their heartbreaking loss at Foxboro on Sunday. The Ravens uploaded video of Ray Lewis's speech to his teammates, in which he praises Fl...
Madonna's Halftime Act Will Reportedly Be "Bringing Gay To The Super Bowl"
At least that's what the New York Daily News' gossip moles overheard one of her dancers say at a party the other night. But before James Dobson can shift uncomfortably in his chair to craft a press release, somebody really ought to tell him Madonna's 20 years behind the times....
Clint Dempsey Is Better At Soccer Than You, And Every Other American Ever
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...
A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...
Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...