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A Chronicle Of Doing It: Nike And Destruction
Republished with permission from The Classical....

A Slapshot To The Ear Can Do Some Serious Damage (NSFW)
On Saturday, during an off-day practice in Pittsburgh, Alex Ovechkin took a shot on net. It went high, caromed around off the glass, and struck Matt Hendricks directly in the ear. Above is the "after" picture. The graphic photo below shows the damage: an inch-long gash in the cartilage....

Oregon High School Basketball Player Is Really, Really Excited About The League Game He Just Won
The Springfield (Ore.) Times is where you should go for this news:...

It Sounds Like The Bruins Are Ready To Say Goodbye To Tim Thomas, Free Citizen
When Tim Thomas declined to accompany the Bruins to the White House, he was quick to assure everyone that "this was not about politics." Well, guess what Tim, now it's about something even more important: hockey. ...

Novak Djokovic Gives Appropriately Stupid Answer To Jim Courier's Incredibly Stupid Question
The television networks employ former athletes as analysts because of the uncommon insight they can offer from having been there. Those ex-athletes will, on occasion, uphold their end of the bargain by informing us of something we might not have known or understood without the benefit of their per...

This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Whatever You're Doing With Your Life, It's Not As Awesome As The Athletes In This Recruiting Video
I don't care where you matriculated, what you studied, or what honors you graduated with. If you didn't go to Benedictine University, your degree is now useless. ...

Larry Nance Jr.'s Jumpman Slam Was The Spitting Image Of Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan's the name most people associate with the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, but few remember it was Larry Nance who won the 1984 inaugural edition of the competition. Nance's son (who had plenty of opportunities as a youth to watch Jordan style over his dad's Cavaliers) now plays for Wyoming a...

The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
This week's dong-submission cavalcade starts with Kent B.'s folks's Irish Wolfhound. His name is Presley. He's a good pooch....

Report: Wisconsin's Former Associate AD Resigned Because He Allegedly Groped A Male Subordinate
John Chadima resigned as the associate athletic director at the University of Wisconsin just after returning from the Rose Bowl earlier this month. Turns out he is accused of groping a male subordinate while at a party on that trip, according to what a source told WKOW, a television station in Madi...

Science! Proves That People Really Don't Like Going To Work The Morning After The Super Bowl
It's the rare SportsNation poll with a nearly perfect geographical split, somewhere around the Central and Mountain time zones. A question we had never pondered before—Which day would you prefer to watch the Super Bowl?—tears a nation asunder....

Pennsylvania's Governor Is Officially Sad Joe Paterno Is Dead, After He Officially Helped Fire Him
Gov. Tom Corbett declared yesterday that all flags on state facilities be at half-staff until Joe Paterno is buried. It's a decision that's generating plenty of opinions pro and con, given Paterno's complex legacy in relation to his towering stature in Pennsylvania. But it's curious that Corbett sa...

What It's Like To Be Inside A Hockey Rink When The Roof Collapses
Puck Daddy has the story and the complete video, but these few moments tell us all we need to know about a Slovakian rink's roof giving way under the weight of snow. Though native Richard Zednik was putting on a youth clinic, he and the kids got off the ice with seconds to spare, and no one was in...

Which Will Prince Fielder And Miguel Cabrera Reach First: 600 Combined Homers Or 600 Combined Pounds?
The balance of power in the American League shifted toward Detroit today with the Tigers' surprise signing of Prince Fielder. So did the center of mass....

Bernard Pollard Hopes The Giants "Put A Thrashing" On The Patriots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Patriot-killer wants New York to finish the job....

The Mystery Team Wins: Prince Fielder Signs With The Tigers
Just five days ago, GM Dave Dombrowski said Prince Fielder was "probably not a good fit" in Detroit. That was after C/DH Victor Martinez went down for the year, but with 1B/3B/DH Miguel Cabrera still under contract through 2015. That's a logjam of immovable objects, though the Tigers have indicated ...

"I Want Barry Melrose To Shoot On Me," And Other Highlights From Linda Cohn's Stint As A Goaltender
Hey, look! It's hockey on SportsCenter!...

This Is What Happens When You Accuse Steven Tyler Of Butchering The National Anthem
Our post Sunday asking whether Steven Tyler's pre-AFC championship performance of the national anthem was the worst ever drew a flood of reader feedback, both in the form of poll responses and in writing. Here's an update on the poll results, as well as a sampling of your reaction to Tyler's perf...

How To Lose Weight Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
I was at the gym this morning and some old British dude started talking to me in the locker room, which is a huge breach of gym locker room protocol and totally freaked me out. Anyway, he's like, "You should watch your feet." And I looked down at my bare feet on the tile floor, and he was like, "Thi...