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ShortCenter: Merril Hoge Explains Aaron Rodgers's Very Bad Day
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Joe Paterno Wants Us To Believe He Has Never Heard Of "Rape And A Man." Joe Paterno Is Full Of Shit.
Sally Jenkins of the Washington Post scored a precious exclusive interview with Joe Paterno last week and summarily pissed away the opportunity by deploying every tired Paterno cliche that gives Joe Posnanski an erection. He's lived in the same house for dickety-two years! He turned down the Pats be...

There's A Hidden Message In The Names Of These Ole Miss Basketball Players
Your morning roundup for Jan. 16, the day we learned Rice Krispies can be dangerous. Photo via @tonyagolini. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Why, Oh Why, Did The Packers Have To Lose?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Washington State Head Coach Ken Bone Eats It On The Court
Halfway through the second half of the hotly contested battle for the state of Washington, Wazoo head coach Ken Bone is just a tad too exuberant with his request for a timeout. I hope, for his sake, he was able to pick up the spare. [FSN] ...

The Job Of Sumo Referee Is A Dangerous One
Things got scarier than usual Wednesday at the New Year Grand Sumo tournament when gyoji Shozaburo Kimura found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. The referee was knocked unconscious and removed from the auditorium on a stretcher. [Kyodo]...

Hakeem Nicks Hauled In A Halftime Hail Mary
The Green Bay Packers' circumstances for the second half of their playoff game against New York changed enormously when Hakeem Nicks brought down this heave by Eli Manning, turning a three-point Packers deficit into a 20-10 doubling-up. [Fox]...

Play-By-Play Man Loses His Mind On Three-Quarter-Court Buzzer Beater
Everyone loves a good game-winning buzzer beater, especially when it travels almost the entirety of the court and catches nothing but net. Here then, is Lindsey Wilson College senior guard Chase Spreen putting a fork in Georgetown (not that Georgetown) College as the Lindsey Wilson Sports Network ...

Your NFL Playoffs Divisional Round Open Thread: New York Giants At Green Bay Packers
And so marks the beginning of the end of a great weekend of football. Gather below....
![NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
NSFW: An Alabama Fan Teabagged A Passed-Out LSU Fan At The Bourbon Street Krystal [UPDATE]
Those of us un/fortunate enough to have visited the Krystal restaurant at the mouth of Bourbon Street in New Orleans know it's a place where the occasionally odd, bizarre, or criminal events take place. We don't know which of these this incident is, if not all three. That's especially given that so...

Bernie Fine Accuser Admits To Fabricating Sexual Abuse Claims
In letters (provided below) obtained by the Post-Standard, Floyd VanHooser, the prison inmate who accused Bernie Fine of sexually abusing him since 1969, has admitted to fabricating his story. ...

Darius Morris Hit A 50-Foot Contested Buzzer-Beater
Darius Morris hasn't seen much action for the Lakers this season—the rookie guard has tallied all of 55 minutes thus far—but you might be seeing more of him after this buzzer-beater in last night's 102-94 loss to the Clippers. That or it was just a fluke. (It was just a fluke.) [NBA TV]...

It May Be Professional Lacrosse's Season-Opener, But Teams' Fighting Skills Are In Midseason Form
I'll admit professional lacrosse is a sport beyond my professional purview, so I didn't even know they had hockey-style fights. Last night's season-opener between Rochester and Philadelphia ended with a real rumbler, though, even bringing the goalies out for fisticuffs. In the end, the fight laste...

Your NFL Playoffs Divisional Round Open Thread: Houston Texans at Baltimore Ravens
Welcome back for day two of the divisional round. As always, make yourselves comfortable down below in the comments....

Edson Barboza's <em>Roadhouse</em>-Style Face-Kick Knockout Is Even Better When Slowed Down 500%
We didn't have time to give this nasty wheel kick KO the proper treatment last night, but here's Edson Barboza's heel applied to Terry Etim's face in extreme slow motion, from Saturday's UFC 142 lightweight event....

Man Agrees To Drink An Entire Bottle Of Tabasco If Tebow Loses To The Patriots, Pukes
Amateur cinematography aside, this is an oddly compelling watch. Textbook storytelling, actually. The tension slowly builds—A hero's quest, will he actually do it? I don't think he's going to do it—rising action—he's getting ready, he may actually do it— climax—oh my god he did it!—and then, denou...

Dwarf Tossing Is All Fun And Games Until Someone Loses The Ability To Walk Unassisted
Martin Henderson, a 37 year-old British man who suffers from dwarfism, was out celebrating his birthday and watching the Rugby World Cup when he was suddenly, and violently tossed by a "hooded thug" while trying to enjoy a smoke outside of the White Horse Pub in Wincanton, Somerset....

Tim Tebow Losing Is Why We Love Sports
Your morning roundup for Jan. 15, the day we learned old drawings of space are actually pretty awesome. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Jose Aldo Retained His UFC Title With A Knee To Chad Mendes's Face, Then Leapt Into The Crowd To Celebrate
In the UFC 142 main event, featherweight Jose Aldo held onto the belt with a nasty knee-then-punch combo that knocked out Chad Mendes and sparked a roar from the approving Brazilian audience—into which Aldo leapt and out of which he was eventually carried, Rocky-style....

Tom Brady's Punt Finally Brought Some Life To The Broncos Defense, If By Life You Mean Punches
Blame Von Miller for this dirty hit that is an unfortunate coda to his otherwise spectacular season. But quick kicks always tend to result in some kind of craziness; like turnovers, they put players outside their comfort zone. In this case, it was reason for Miller to go on an assault mission, th...