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Dolphins Fan Gets Brutally Knocked Out In The Sun Life Stadium Parking Lot (Video) (Updated)
The sucker punch that dropped a Dolphins fan in the parking lot after Sunday's game vs. the Eagles is so brutal that the meathead who threw it should do some time. The sound of head hitting parking lot is chilling. The louder sound of the initial contact may be worse. Hearkens back to the near-dea...

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
So, for some inexplicable reason, tipster Nick L. was researching how best to draw a cat. Who knows. What he found was this tutorial. It led him to assert, "I always knew cats were dicks." He's right. Cats are dicks. Total dicks. Every last one of them. Even the lady cats....

Watch An Argentinian Goalie Make A Save, Bite A Face
This is video from the Recreativo Estrellas/Deportivo Motokart semifinal match of the Liga Roca de Córdoba club tournament in Argentina a few days back. They're rivals, as you well know. In it, Recreativo goalkeeper Gabriel Orozco punches a relatively harmless shot over the crossbar. In it, Orozco...

Football Hero Craig James And His "God-Given Talents" Will Apparently Run For U.S. Senate
"The Dallas Morning News is reporting that the onetime sports hero - a college standout at SMU and a pro running back with the New England Patriots - will officially announce his candidacy by Thursday. As the founder of Texans for a Better America, James has been subtly positioning himself for the ...

Bro Charged With DWI After Crashing Muscle Car Into "Booze It And Lose It" Police Command Center
"A Hickory (NC) man is facing multiple charges, including DWI, after slamming into a DWI mobile command center Sunday morning. Law enforcement officers were conducting a DWI checkpoint when a 1989 red Chevy Camaro rammed into the back of the 'Booze it and Lose it' mobile unit. People were inside th...

Kelly Shoppach Returns, Casey McGehee Departs, And Nickelback Wins Again
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall.) This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Mo Williams Wants Some Pictures And Contact Info For Some New Twitter Friend (UPDATE)
Tweets the Clippers guard, although it's since been deleted:...

The Ballad Of Dane Sanzenbacher And His Scrawny, White Friends
Pete Segall and our plucky friends at The Classical have a good story up today about Dane Sanzenbacher and the receiver's burden after one dropped pass in November: "It cannot be easy for Dane Sanzenbacher, and it's easy to imagine the hard thrumming pressure on him, the sensation of letting down th...

Hey Look, Someone Actually Bet That The First Score In Giants/Cowboys Would Be A Safety
"ACCVentures" over in the Covers.com forums put down $22 at 50-1 that the first score in Sunday Night Football would be a safety. Seems kind of low, and he had to play each team separately, but he's got $1100 and you don't....
![Dan Shaughnessy's Son Arrested For Assaulting Cops, Being Breathtakingly Drunk At Noon On A Friday [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1864bphzvh5s5jpg.jpg)
Dan Shaughnessy's Son Arrested For Assaulting Cops, Being Breathtakingly Drunk At Noon On A Friday [UPDATE]
Sam Shaughnessy, who as a star outfielder in high school was the subject of father Dan's book Senior Year, then played a year of college ball at BC, was arrested last Friday in Brookline, Mass. The charges: disorderly conduct, assault and battery on a police officer, and resisting arrest....

Kendrick Perkins Lost A Bunch Of Weight During The Lockout
So what if Perk was miserable about getting traded to OKC? So what if his team got bounced from the playoffs while he played a minor role? So what if he got arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct in August?...

Jerry Sandusky Apparently Still Coached At A Small College Last Year Even Though He Failed The Background Check
We've already told you about Jerry Sandusky's attempt last year to become a volunteer assistant coach at D-III Juniata College in central Pennsylvania. His effort was thwarted when a background check revealed the inconvenient detail that he was under investigation for something. And even though the...

On A Frosty Pennsylvania Morning, Jerry Sandusky Is Punxsutawney Phil
BELLEFONTE, Pa.—Jack-all of substance happened in the Centre County courthouse today, as you already know. Jerry Sandusky waived his preliminary hearing. No witnesses testified; no new information came out....

Bernie Fine's First Two Accusers Have Retained Gloria Allred, Are Suing Syracuse And Jim Boeheim For Defamation
Former ball boy Bobby Davis and his stepbrother Mike Lang have filed suit in New York's State Supreme Court, but the man who allegedly molested them as teenagers isn't named. Instead, Davis and Fine have enlisted the services of Gloria Allred to represent them in a defamation suit against the univer...

Xavier President Father Michael Graham Allegedly Threw Holy Water On Rowdy Fans As The Crosstown Brawl Raged
This is too weird to believe if we hadn't received multiple tips about it, and here's WLW 700 host Bill Cunningham on yesterday's program relating that he, too, had heard about Xavier president Fr. Michael Graham's bizarre behavior during the brawl that broke out in the Crosstown Shootout....

Death Is Stalking The 1994 Chargers
It is the plot of the least likely Final Destination sequel ever: members of the 1994 AFC Champion Chargers have been dying premature deaths. Even more premature than the average CTE-doomed football player: with Lew Bush's death last week, seven eight players from that Super Bowl team have passed aw...

How To Get Robbed In D.C.: Amir Khan Vs. Lamont Peterson
WASHINGTON—A black guy in dark shades and a pimp-style chinchilla coat strode through the D.C. convention center, headed toward the entrance to the fight. Ten feet behind him, a white guy in a button-up shirt surreptitiously snapped photos of him on his cell phone. "Look, a real live pimp, at the fi...

Here's An Adorably Vicious Hockey Brawl With 9-Year-Olds
Making the rounds today is this pro-quality brawl between two Kazakhstani U10 teams. If the biased YouTube uploader is to be believed, it began after the winning Astana team (in white) kept trash talking during the handshake line. What's Kazakh for "I can't believe I shook this guy's frigging hand...

John Rocker Admits Steroid Use, File Under "Who Gives A Shit?"
John Rocker wants you to give a shit, because he's got a book coming out. It makes a perfect Christmas present for someone you hate, but is not appropriate as a gift for Eid or Diwali because John Rocker doesn't want brown people currency. To drum up interest for the book, Rocker's doing the intervi...

Women's Professional Soccer Escapes Extinction
For the past few months, we've been following the sad saga of one of the most destructive owners in professional sports, Dan Borislow, and his ongoing legal (and email) fight against one of the most beleaguered professional sports organizations in the world, Women's Professional Soccer....