tweet Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ShortCenter: Someone Will Pay Albert Pujols A Shitload Of Money, Buster Olney Reports From Sad Hotel Lobby
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Foolproof Way To Find Out How Many Women Wear Thongs
Your morning roundup for Dec. 7, the day we learned the alien search is back on. Photo via Fox DC. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Electroshock Gimmick Makes Boring Norwegian Soccer Match Oddly Entertaining
"Shocking scenes unraveled before the eyes of Norwegian television viewers last week during a football match between rival television stations. An already tense atmosphere was given an extra charge on TV2's Golden Goal when the show's two presenters were armed with remote control electric shock ki...

Let's Watch A Guy Lose Four Teeth To A Cricket Ball
Meet Keegan Meth, who was just named "South African Airways Bowler of the Year" this week. Back in August, he was bowling for Zimbabwe in its cricket match versus Bangladesh when batsman Nasir Hossain's ball hit him square in the face....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Let's start this week off with a vignette that Nick shares from a recent visit to Famous Dave's BBQ in Omaha, Neb.: "So I was sitting there with the fellas, waiting for our lunch to arrive from the kitchen. As our waiter comes over to hand me my plate, he chuckles and lays this down in front of me....

This Pretty Remarkable Goal Allowed Marseille To Advance To The UEFA Knock-Out Stage
"Mathieu Valbuena's late winner sealed a stunning comeback from Marseille in a 3-2 win against Borussia Dortmund to book the French side's place in the last 16 of the Champions League. ... Jakub Blaszczykowski and Mats Hummels put Dortmund in front at the break but Loic Remy and Andre Ayew drew Ma...

Nebraska's Star Volleyball Player Gets Off Easy For Hitting A Motorcyclist While Driving Suspended
Considering that I've chronicled 2,119 hit-and-runs across the country since last January, the stories — to a certain extent — have stopped shocking me. That whole numbing-effect thing....

This Video Ensures That Nobody On The Face Of The Earth Will Ever Mess With Tiffany Again (NSFW)
The description of this here "Pimp gets bitchslapped by his Slut whore" video reads as follows:...

Jay Bilas Brings It Straight From The Hood
ESPN basketball analyst and Duke graduate Jay Bilas sought assistance from "urban philosopher" Young Jeezy while breaking down Missouri's ability to score on Villanova during tonight's Jimmy V Classic game at Madison Square Garden. He's just keeping it real. [ESPN]...

Weatherman Vowed To Wear Wife's Colts Panties If They Lost To The Patriots
Jim Kosek, an eager piece of on-air talent for AccuWeather in central Pennsylvania, apparently likes to start sentences with "Anyhoo." Which is especially rich when the sentence goes on to describe his wife's fandom for the Indianapolis Colts and how he'll wear her panties to work if they lost the...

Jared Allen Told Ray Edwards, "I'm Going To Punch You Square In Your Wiener, Dude" Before Punching Him Square In The Wiener
Maybe you've seen the video circulating this week that shows Minnesota's Jared Allen punching Atlanta's Ray Edwards directly in the crotch during the Falcons' 24-14 win in Week 12. If not, here it is, and here's Allen's frank explanation of the incident from today's episode of PFT Live:...

Beating Victim Identified LeGarrette Blount As "The Leader" In September Attack, But Didn't Press Charges
What's known is this: On Sept. 11, just after the Tampa Bay Buccaneers opened the season with a loss at home to the Detroit Lions, a 34-year-old man named Gary Holmer was severely beaten by two men after a minor car accident in which his vehicle knocked the mirror off another vehicle outside an apa...

Barry Zito Ties The Knot, Looks Ridiculous In Wedding Photo
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

The Big East Apparently Plans To Save Itself By Having Members In All 50 States
In 2013, Boise State and San Diego State are joining for football only, while Houston, Southern Methodist, and Central Florida are coming for all sports. CBS Sports, which broke the story, has provided the handy map you see above to display the conference's electoral chances in 2012 clusterfuck of ...

NFL Owners Exist To Be Hated
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Now A 19-Year-Old Says Jerry Sandusky Abused Him At A Penn State Football Building In 2004
That would be two years after Sandusky was to have had his keys to the facility taken away by Penn State officials, according to the grand jury summary, though Sandusky himself has acknowledged his access was never restricted. The boy, who is not one of the eight victims cited by the grand jury, sa...

The Hockey Jersey Dress Is The Perfect Holiday Gift For A Future Ex-Girlfriend
Third String Goalie checks back in with Lise, a Hamilton lass who's made a cottage industry out of turning old NHL jerseys into dresses. You should totally buy this for your non-sports fan girlfriend, and maybe we'll run a gallery of disgusted faces and possessions thrown out onto the lawn. [Third S...

Former Players Sue NFL Over Painkiller Use
A group of 12 former players brought the latest concussion-related lawsuit against the NFL this week, this one concerning the league's administration of the painkiller Toradol. As with the other half-dozen or so suits that former players have filed against the league in recent months, the players al...

Are You Ready For This Mustache?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Would Brett Favre Take A Phone Call From The Ice Capades? "I Don't Want To Go Into Hypotheticals," Agent Says
We put in another call to Brett Favre's agent, Bus Cook, this morning. Upon hearing that I was calling from Deadspin, he let out a long sigh, but was gracious enough to stay on the phone. In an effort to expand on ESPN's report from Monday—in which ESPN established via anonymous source that Brett Fa...