tweet Page 91 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Rays' New Rape Problem
The Tampa Bay Rays just traded for Mariners reliever Josh Lueke, a righty who's undervalued because he dodged a rape charge a few years back. Our resident Rays fan, Mobutu Sese Seko, is not pleased. TB brass is advised to read his debunking of the various pro-Lueke factions sooner rather than later....

A Counterfactual History Of Tim Tebow As A Jacksonville Jaguar
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Spoof Indy Super Bowl Shuffle Video That Will Scare You Off Indianapolis Forever
Congratulations, Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Association. Super Bowl or no, you have guaranteed that I will never intentionally visit your city. I will never spend a dime outside your airport. I will work to prevent everyone I know from having anything to do with Indianapolis. This I prom...

The Birdman Is Sticking Up For Animals Because No One Else Will
If this is your thing, Chris "Birdman" Andersen has loaned his defiled corpus to PETA for their "Ink Not Mink" anti-fur campaign. Today, per the Denver Post, he'll be handing out donated fur coats to the homeless for winter. Something tells me J.R. Smith wants one....

New Accuser Sues Jerry Sandusky, Claiming Over 100 Incidents Of Sex Abuse
Yet another alleged Jerry Sandusky victim has come forward. The man is not one of the eight alleged victims in the grand jury presentment that led to Sandusky's arrest. He's a new one. And he's suing Sandusky, Penn State, and The Second Mile charity in Philadelphia court. ...

Naked Dude Fights With NYC Bouncer, Runs Into Traffic, Falls Off A Car (NSFW)
A reader sends in this video taken on 6th Avenue in Manhattan at 2:30 a.m. Saturday night. Very few good things happen at 2:30 a.m. on 6th Avenue, which is why it's always a good idea to have your phone camera at the ready....

Rugby Star's Dad Rushes Onto Pitch To Protect Him During Fight, Singlehandedly Ruins Hard-Fought Reputation For Ruggers Worldwide
Even rugby stars can have helicopter parents, as French number 8 Imanol Harinordoquy learned when shit went down between his Biarritz club and rival Bayonne in France's top division....

ShortCenter: Bobby Valentine Brings Accountability, Fake Mustache To The Red Sox
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

The Greatest Frisbee Catch In The History Of Frisbee Catches
Your morning roundup for Nov. 30, the day we learned assault has no age minimum. Video via The PostGame. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Alexis Sanchez Scored A Nifty Little Goal For Barcelona Today
Didn't take long for the reigning Best Club Team In The World to bounce back from an unexpected loss to Getafe over the weekend. Three days, actually. Against patsy Rayo Valllecano....

If You Like Watching Dolled-Up Lovelies Brawl In Atlantic City, This One's For You (NSFW)
Barefoot gal in hiked-up pink, thong-revealing getup or heels-sporting jean lady in loose tanktop. Contestant who got kicked in the grill vs. a virtual human centipede of flailing femarms....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions Involving Hand Gestures On Wheel Of Fortune
Not only was Andrew P. of Lenexa, Kansas watching Wheel of Fortune this evening, but he was watching at the precise moment that contestant Lorimar made a hand gesture made all the more unfortunate when not accompanied by volume. 'Twas also an unfortunate gesture that host Pat Sajak caught himself ...

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions
Let's start this week's batch off with one of them Magic Eye Picture jawns in which if you stare long enough, you see something different than what you thought you saw. In this case, you're likely to stare at that field dong long enough to eventually see a band at halftime of the Boise State/SDSU g...

Salty Clemson Fan Calls The Gamecocks The "Short Bus Of The SEC East," Admits He'd Eat Squirrel
According to tipster Matthew W., "This guy 'Clemson Tom' has been making videos for a few weeks now. The Clemson nation has been all over this guy. His latest video he prank calls, Connor Shaw, starting QB for South Carolina. This guys also in past videos prank calls head coaches, Frat houses, GT ...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Knox City Greyhounds Season Coda
And so it ended, on the blackest of Black Fridays, with the Knox City Greyhounds unable to muster the strength to vanquish an undefeated foe which had already bested them on the field of six-man Texas-football war....

This Portrait Of Atlanta Falcon Ray Edwards And LaStarya Thompson Better Be Called "Handful Of Ass"
Tipster Mike S. was kind enough to ferret out this glorious piece of artwork on artist Gabe Richesson's website. In proper form, the Edwards/LaStarya study is five-feet wide and four-feet tall. In proper form, it owns the room, as if a vice squeezing your attention tight and showing it who's boss....

It Took All Of 16 Seconds For Sean Avery To Get Into A Fight With The Penguins
Calling it a "fight" is a bit misleading—the participants were only assessed two minute roughing minors—but the efficiency by which it was commenced is worth noting, especially since Sean Avery didn't appear to actually start this fight with the Penguins' Tyler Kennedy. (He took a more active part...

Today In Cliche-Riddled Ledes About Bowling, Gunplay And Morality
"Whatever way you frame it, a group of men with their morals in the gutter did not spare any regard for human life when they opened fire in a bowling alley early yesterday, striking one man down, according to police." [Philadelphia Daily News]...

Penn State's Student Newspaper Has Put Its Sex Column On Hold
Called "Mounting Nittany," it typically ran with headlines like "Let's talk sex, hugs, and handjobs." The column last ran on Nov. 3, two days before Jerry Sandusky turned himself in. Its author decided it would "not be 'respectful to those who have been affected by sexual assault' to write the colu...

You've Always Wanted To See Mike Tyson Sing "Girl From Ipanema" On Brazilian TV, Right?
When exactly did Mike Tyson become this cultural palimpsest? His layers are manifold, his depths eternal. He is all things at once. I half expect him to show up in Kente cloth, having been elected mayor of some downtrodden mid-Atlantic burg. Or to spot him racing along the Bonneville Salt Flats in...