ufc Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Incompetent Old People Hilariously Debate Merits Of MMA Fights
The State of New York will close for business next week unless its comically inept legislature can pass a balanced budget. (It was due April 1.) Instead, they decided to spend the day arguing about MMA....with predictably zany results....
"It Looked Like A Butterflied Shrimp": A Cutman's Tour Of 12 Terrible Fight Wounds
We've already posted an ode to boxing's bleeders. Let us now look at the blood itself. We ask Jacob "Stitch" Duran, an elite cutman who's worked many thousands of bouts, to share a few memories of the foulest gashes he's ever plugged....
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
MMA Fight Scrapped Due To A (Yikes) "Brain Irregularity"
Thiago Alves has been scratched from his UFC fight this weekend, after a brain scan revealed two words you never want to hear from your doctor. I'm not a medical (or MMA) expert....but he might need that brain later. [Yahoo/ESPN]...
I Went To A UFC Match, And A Fight Broke Out
As Mark Coleman transitioned into forced retirement, Tito Ortiz cursed him out from cageside, while girlfriend Jenna Jameson gave the finger. That's probably not a first for Jenna, if "Where The Boys Aren't 17" is any indication. [cagewriter]...
Also Not A Fan Of Socialized Medicine: Brock Lesnar
The UFC Champ just got over a nasty case of diverticulitis, no thanks to Canada. In a move sure to upset half our nation and all of theirs, Lesnar trashed universal health care and called Canada "a Third World country."...
UFC Fight Night 20: Suburban Hell, Blood Loogies, And The Glorious Return Of The Hipster Warrior
The UFC slunk into the Patriot Center in Fairfax last night. Fairfax isn't so much a town as a county. To be more specific, it's a naturally occurring asbestos pit home to spies, Civil War fanatics and lax-obsessed Caucasian moneylovers....
UFC 104: Zombies, Blind Men And The False Triumph Of The Piss-Drinker
Three years have passed since the UFC put on a show in Los Angeles, and maybe this is why. The California State Athletic Commission this weekend jobbed Shogun Rua out of a light heavyweight title....
UFC 104: Urine For A Good Fight
In advance of tomorrow's UFC 104, let us pause for a moment to consider the merits of drinking your own piss....
Kimbo Says: "If You Can't Beat 'Em, Shoot 'Em"
TUF Castmate Justin Wren: "He got arm-barred and Kimbo really doesn't like to tap. He didn't tap and the guy hurt his arm so he came back in there with a gun. Cops were called and everyone went nuts." [Cagewiter]...
UFC President Pretty Excited To See Herschel Walker Fight
Dana White: "Who the f**k are they going to find to fight Herschel Walker? A guy in a wheelchair?..The geniuses over at Showtime are the most arrogant, cocky, pompous jackasses I've ever met." [FanHouse]...
Rampage Jackson Quits UFC To Focus On Mr. T Impersonation
After blowing off his last fight to star in the upcoming A-Team movie, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson blogs that he's retiring. Special thanks to "the dumb ass fans that don't pay my bills or put my kids though college." [IFight365]...
Kimbo Slice Faces Reality
He lost his last fight in 14 seconds to a pink-haired nobody, and ever since Kimbo Slice's career has been on life support. "I got six shorties at the crib," he says. "They gotta eat, you know what I'm saying?"...
Rampage Jackson Ditches Upcoming Bout to Star in A-Team Movie
I wonder which character he'll play?...
UFC 101: Beating Pipes, Disgusting Bloggers And Gerard Butler's Furiously Shaken Pud
By now you know that Mola Ram Anderson Silva ripped out Forrest Griffin's heart and flambéed it before 17,500 fans in Philadelphia. What you (hopefully) do not know is this: Gerard Butler plays with his haggis at the urinal....
It's Always Surly In Philadelphia
To the shock of precisely no one, the real action in last night's UFC 101 was in the crowd, as every Philadelphian tried to fight every other Philadelphian. Winner: you!...
UFC 101: Hipster Warriors, Chest Hair And The Return Of Sanctioned Violence To Philly
The UFC descends on Philadelphia this weekend. Which means that hordes of Tapout-clad drunks from the East Coast will fill the Wachovia Center and howl like gibbons as they work themselves into the Blood Frenzy. Well, bully for them....
Dana White Promises Scary Russian Man Will Be Next To Fight Brock Lesnar
Messy contractual things have to be finalized but White is determined to have Fedor Emelianenko step in the cage with the angry ex-professional wrestler and controversial UFC heavyweight champion. Emelianenko has disposed of much bigger men before. [Cage Writer]...
Was That A Great UFC 100 Or What? (No, Really, Tell Me)
Not to break wind on the parade of the 18-35 male demographic, but it seemed from this comfy couch that everyone was watching UFC 100 because everyone else was....
UFC 100 Will Be The Biggest Event Ever!!!
I'm not an MMA guy. I haven't ordered anything on pay-per-view since Wrestlemania VI. But even I know that tonight is something special....