ugh Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rex Ryan Retroactively Guarantees Super Bowl Rings For Team He Never Coached
It has been a watershed week for coach fights in the NFL. First, of course, there was the Great Handshake Showdown Of Oh-Eleven at Ford Field on Sunday evening, when two grown men disagreed about the proper way to deliver post-game handshakes and resorted to standing around grimacing at each other a...

Mr. Congeniality Bill Belichick Has Some Thoughts On The Postgame Coach Handshake
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Bill says it's all the media's fault....

The Dumbest Thing About the NFL's Dumb Handshake Controversy
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Hey, Mike Florio, Chuck Noll Was Not Above Confronting Another Coach During A Postgame Handshake, Either
Here's Florio, on Schwartz-Harbaugh: "Not that long ago, all coaches exuded a sense of dignity toward the game and respect toward each other. From Tom Landry to Chuck Noll to Bud Grant to John Madden to Don Shula, coaches didn't treat each other like opponents in the main event of the next pro wre...

Jim Harbaugh Was Still Fired Up After His Skirmish With Jim Schwartz Yesterday
Yesterday, 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh untucked his shirt, chest-bumped a lineman, and then shook hands with losing coach Jim Schwartz. Then he (allegedly) yelled "Fuck you!" or "Fuck yeah!" at Schwartz as he ran away and towards the tunnel, which is (allegedly) what set off the Lions coach and ...

Watch Jim Harbaugh And Jim Schwartz Almost Fight
This pretty much speaks for itself. Harbaugh pulled the ol' Lift Up My Shirt In Exultant Victory And Exuberantly Slap Five With My Opponent. Schwartz wasn't feeling it....

Good Luck Charm? Cardinals Play-By-Play Broadcaster Might Have Wet Himself During His DWI Arrest
Two Sundays ago, Fox Sports Midwest's Dan McLaughlin was arrested for driving drunk after he crashed into a stop sign in Chesterfield, a suburb of St. Louis. He was suspended from work, even though FSM doesn't carry postseason games so his year was effectively over. That mugshot, on the left, is the...

Dan Shaughnessy, At Approximately 10 P.M. Wednesday: "The Red Sox Season Is Not Going To End Tonight"
Here's Dan Shaughnessy, during last night's rain delay, with the Sox leading the Orioles 3-2 and the Yankees leading the Rays 7-0: "I think the Rays are not going to win tonight. I think that's the one thing that we've eliminated tonight is that the Red Sox season is not going to end tonight. They...

More Overwrought Fantasy Emails: Joe's Going To Carve You Up, Drink Your Blood, Rape Your Sister, And Beat Your Mother
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at...

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Dan Shaughnessy Wants The Red Sox Barred From The Playoffs Even If They Qualify
Here's the CHB: "How about banishing the 2011 Red Sox from postseason play on the grounds of horsebleep play for the entire month of September?...

If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...

It's Only The Second Week Of NFL Preseason Games, And Todd Haley Is Already Pissed Off
The Baltimore Ravens defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 31-13 last night. That final score was seasoned with two Ravens touchdowns in the final two minutes....

Dead Comedian Of The Week: Vaughn Meader, Assassination Victim
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, Alexander Woo, a writer and co-executive producer for HBO's True Blood, eulogizes Vaughn Meader, the wildly popular JFK impersonator whose star plummeted after the assassination of his sub...

Cubs Consider Getting Rid Of Wrigley's Most Iconic Feature
The ivy is safe. The troughs are endangered. ...

Not Even Playboy Playmates Can Bring Loaded Guns Onto Airplanes, Apparently
You remember Shanna Marie McLaughlin. Central Florida grad. Playboy Playmate of the Month for July 2010. Filmed a little video in the UCF locker room last year that got some people more bothered than hot, a silly ordeal that left her "dumbfounded" and resulted in a formal apology from the school — ...

Chris Kluwe Conditionally Surrenders No. 5 To New Vikings QB Donovan McNabb
Your morning roundup for July 30, the day we're provided with living proof that 32-year-old women are, in fact, into 83-year-old men. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The One Where Some Guy Tries To Sell Us Proof That Bernie Kosar's Daughter Is Doing Porno
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Concussed Cyclist Doesn't Remember Finishing Yesterday's Stage Of The Tour De France
Your morning roundup for July 9, the day Detroit teaches us to respect the crackheads who walk among us....

A Year Ago, Diamondbacks 3B Sean Burroughs Was Drinking 8 Slurpees Daily, Eating Cheeseburgers Out Of A Trash Can
Sean Burroughs, if you'll recall, was once the fraught golden boy of early 2000s NL baseball—the smooth-swinging Padres third baseman who could only hit singles. (His career isolated slugging percentage, .078, is only a fuzz better than Juan Pierre's.) But Burroughs has since resuscitated his pro ca...