ugh Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Smith Was Nearly Perfect Last Night, So Jim Harbaugh Said Some More Crazy Shit
You'll excuse us for not watching Niners-Cardinals last night. Our city was flooding. But we checked the various recaps today and saw this:...

Hugh Douglas Is Transitioning Nicely Into His Life As A Sports Pundit
You probably remember Hugh Douglas from his playing days with the Philadelphia Eagles and that one time he tried to beat up Terrell Owens. Now retired, Douglas is working as one of ESPN's many NFL analysts, and last night he went through one of the most sacred rites of passage in sports media: He a...

Canada's Best Hockey Broadcaster Is Building A Lake Cabin With His Bare Hands, Just Waiting For A Call
There's no hockey, as you may have heard. This means NBC's Doc Emrick, one of our favorites, is calling figure skating for the peacock network. But what about Jim Hughson of the CBC? Hughson—whose best Roberto-Luongo-specific calls you can hear above—is another one of our favorites. Unlike Emrick,...

A Big Huge Ball Of Crazy. <em>Cloud Atlas</em>, Reviewed.
1. I've never read the book Cloud Atlas, but I bet it's good. Judging from the film, the book must be insanely ambitious—narratively and stylistically—clearly vying to be no less than some sort of grand binding theory of everything, throughout history, forever. That sort of ambition can work on the ...

"Shaken Up On The Play": The Semantic Loopholes That Allow The NFL To Survive Its Concussion Crisis
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Jim Harbaugh Is A Crazy Person
On Thursday, Giants offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride expressed some moderate displeasure with the technique of Niners defensive end Justin Smith. Smith is one big part of the Niners' stellar front seven—he clears space for the run-stopping linebackers, Patrick Willis and NaVorro Bowman, and gets...

Are You A <em>Boston Globe</em> Columnist Starved For Attention? Try Some Boilerplate Blogger Trolling
If you're writing a column with an inarguable premise—e.g. fans shouldn't cheer after injuries—you might find yourself wanting for a little more reaction. How about an unprovoked shot at bloggers?...

Watch Your Favorite Actors Humiliate Themselves In <em>The Paperboy</em>, The Worst Movie Of The Year
In 2003, Matthew McConaughey starred in a film called Tiptoes that went straight to video. It might seem odd that this film would go straight to video, considering its cast included McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, Gary Oldman, Patricia Arquette, and Peter Dinklage. But then you see what the film was a...

A's Pitcher Pat Neshek's Newborn Son Has Died
On Monday, the Oakland Athletics clinched a playoff spot, and just a few hours later pitcher Pat Neshek's wife went into labor. Neshek flew to Florida and was with his wife when she gave birth to a baby boy....

Canadian Junior-Hockey Players Break Into Teammate's House With Fake Guns And Ski Masks, Get Busted By The Mounties
Players from the Peterborough Petes, an Ontario Hockey League team, thought it would be a good idea to sneak into a teammate's house at night while wearing masks and holding fake guns. You know, just as a harmless prank. They didn't consider what their practical joke might look like to the rest of t...

Manchester United Fans Chanted "Murderers" At Liverpool In The First Match At Anfield After The Hillsborough Report
Yesterday's match, a controversial 2-1 loss to United, was Liverpool's first time back at Anfield since the release of the Hillsborough Independent Panel's findings. The report absolved Reds supporters of any blame in the 1989 stampede that killed 96 fans, and the day was sure to be an emotional o...

Old Dominion QB Taylor Heinicke Threw For 730 Yards Today, A D-I Record
Today in Norfolk, Va., a freakin' sophomore quarterback named Taylor Heinicke threw a football 79 times to lead Old Dominion past New Hampshire 64-61. His receivers caught 55 of those passes. Between Heinicke and those receivers, they moved the ball 730 yards via the air. That ridiculous number is a...

Why Jump A Kneeldown? Because It Worked Two Years Ago
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Tom Coughlin Yells At Greg Schiano Because Tom Coughlin Yells At People
At the end of the game, Eli Manning took a knee to run out the clock and end the game. The Tampa Bay defense pushed hard and knocked Eli over. Manning thought it was a cheap shot....

Source: Brandon Phillips Thought Jared Hughes Called Him "Boy"
We told you earlier about the dustup last night that caused Brandon Phillips to tweet that a Pirates player had said something racist to him. According to a source who spoke to someone who was on the field at the time, Phillips thought Pirates reliever Jared Hughes had called him "boy." This after H...

Former QB Matt Kupec Is Dating Tyler Hansbrough's Mom, And They Took Personal Trips On UNC's Dime
It's the story that has everything! A former star quarterback. Questionable fundraising activities. Corruption. UNC shadiness. And, yeah, Tyler Hansbrough's mom....

Brandon Phillips Says A Pirates Player Said Something Racist To Him
And all anyone knows about it comes from something Phillips tweeted in the wee hours, just after the Reds outlasted the Pirates in 14 innings:...

Russian Powerlifter Drops 400 Pounds On His Chest, Reportedly Dies
Be warned: What happened to poor Igor Golushkin in the video above is not for the squeamish. These details are unconfirmed, but according to this report by Red Hot Russia, Golushkin was trying to bench press 185 kg (approximately 408 pounds) when the bar fell on his chest, tearing his diaphragm an...

An All-Time Great "Lance Armstrong Being A Dick" Story
Lance Armstrong's renowned temperament should probably be remembered as more than incidental to his story. It's unlikely things would have played out the way they have if not for how much of a jerk he was, by nearly all accounts. USADA wouldn't have so doggedly investigated him. His former teammates...