ugh Page 64 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

C. Ronaldo’s Latest Attempt And 9 Great Football Adverts!
Listening to the various ad execs taking him through their latest idea must have caused something of a tightening in the Cristiano Ronaldo trousers....

Jim Harbaugh Knows What The Kids Like
First of all, I'm shocked to find out that they only split two years ago, instead of ten. Jim, you could probably hire them to cut the grass at Stanford Stadium before they play their set. [Twitter]...

Reuben Droughns Goes Up In Smoke
The former running back is under investigation for running a marijuana operation out of his spare bedrooms. More like Reuben Growns, am I right? Ugh, that was awful. More like Groans....

Falcons Player Lawyers-Up Against Websites That Claim He Used To Boink A Dude
Ovie Mughelli of the Atlanta Falcons hired an attorney to cease-and-desist websites that linked to an interview MissJia.com had with a man who claimed to have had an intense sexual relationship with the fullback over many years....

A Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
The Sun-Sentinel has put online a database of more than 374,000 emergency room visits. We present some highlights from the worlds of sports, sex and...other....

The Alleged Homosexuality Of An Atlanta Falcons Player And Other Related Matters (UPDATE)
So most of today was spent talking on the phone to homosexuals or about homosexual activities. This is not a new Wednesday feature. However, when the sports world sashays in this direction, it's our duty to accompany it....

The Best <i>Best American Sports Writing</i> Of The Decade
Before the regrettable bulk of sports writing became sportswriting and the Internet emerged as the medium to document the worst of it, one book, every year, nobly set out to chronicle sports writing's best....

Brendan Witt Is Probable (Car Accident)
The Islanders defenseman was hit by a truck while walking in Philadelphia today, but refused medical treatment and will be in the lineup tonight. He also visited the zoo and beat up a gorilla that looked at him funny. [Newsday/TSN]...

Friendly Texas-Nebraska "Discussion" Leads To Accidental Death
Two Marines got in a "friendly scuffle" while talking about the outcome of Big 12 Championship Game. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to put down his gun and now the other one is dead. [Sun Journal]...

Gay Lip-Readers All Over America Are Upset With Jim Harbaugh
I don't know. I think he may have said "Fucking Asshole Fungus." [TowleRoad]...

Another Roughrider Goes Home Disappointed
The Saskatchewan Roughriders are not sticking the Grey Cup anywhere after last night's last-second defeat in the CFL championship. It's going to be a long winter up there....

Alouettes! Roughriders! It's the 97th Grey Cup!
The battle for the CFL championship kicks off in a few minutes (I think they have kickoffs), and we'll soon know once and for all which is the greatest football city on earth: Montreal or Regina. [CFL]...

Someone Actually Tried To Blackmail Tom Coughlin?
A 30-year-old Philadelphia man, who lawyers say is mentally disabled, has pleaded guilty to sending threatening email messages to Tom Coughlin. Or are they just naturally assuming that any blackmailer who would choose Coughlin as his target must be deranged?...

Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick....

The Greatest Thing You'll Watch All Day: Tyler Hansbrough's Acting Class
The incomparable J.E. Skeets, Esq. provides us with a glimpse into how Psycho T honed his acting chops before his car wow-filled commercial debut. [BasketballJones]...

Phillies Female Fan Offers Sexual Favors In Exchange For WS Tickets
These stories seem to pop up every year, most of them on Craig's List ads. It figures a Phillies fan would be the one who actually gets busted for it. Come on, Mom! [PhillyBurbs, MyFoxPhilly]...

So, About This 'Hugh Johnson Project' Bit...(UPDATED)
As a newcomer to weekend duties, I am unfamiliar with the Hugh Johnson Project. My esteemed colleague Gourmet Spud resurrected it and I would like to do the same. Let me know in the comments how to go about it....

Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....

Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....