ugh Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....

Arizona Is Prettier Than Tennessee, And Knows It
Last night — in ESPN programming we were not watching — the Arizona Wildcats softball team beat Tennessee 5-0 to win the NCAA Championship. One of the fun aspects of NCAA softball is that, if you have one good pitcher, she can just pitch every game. Tarnye Mowatt pitched all 60 innings for the Wildc...

Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

Tony Blair Prepares To Subject Eli Manning To Relentless Heckling
When we first heard that the NFL would stage a regular season game in London, we could hardly contain our glee. Are you kidding? The world's finest on-field violence, coupled with the world's premeire hooliganism? It's the perfect storm. European fans evidently agree, as 40,000 tickets for the game ...

Michael Jordan Ready To Bag Champaign Coeds
Beware, Alpha Phis gallivanting around at Kam's or C.O.'s: Michael Jordan's gonna hit your campus soon, and he doesn't care for your "no cigar smoking inside" rules....

Jim Harbaugh Has Some Breaking News, Dammit!
In case you didn't hear him the first time, new Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh insists that it's not just wishful thinking on his part that Pete Carroll is about to begin his final season with USC. Harbaugh said it to CBS Sportsline earlier this week, then repeated it to the Los Angeles Times ...

Ironically, Goebbels Actually Liked The Jets
Not a good sign for the New York Giants: Tom Coughlin is beginning to crack under the pressure, and it's not even April. Get those season tickets now, fans! From the New York Daily News:...

Go Heels! MIMI! MIMI!
This is from a North Carolina fanboard — and from Matt Viser's upcoming North Carolina Sweet 16 preview — but we absolutely cannot stop laughing at it. Tyler Hansbrough ... MIMI!!...

NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....

Just Call Him Twinkletoes
More proof that Tyler Hansbrough seems more like a Duke guy than a North Carolina guy: He gets pedicures!...

Enjoy The Televised Gang Activity On CBS Today
I seek not to ruffle any political feathers, as today should be a day of shared football love, but at the same time, I have an obligation to bring you the best and the brightest football analysis out there. And when you're looking for football analysis, you look to one man (especially if you're ESPN...

RAD: Greatest. Movie. Ever.
When Will asked if I was interested in being a guest editor for a day, I said, yes, but only on one condition: I was allowed to do a post about RAD ... the Greatest. Movie. Ever. Unfortunately, for some of you at least, Will told me to go crazy and write whatever the hell I wanted too. Woops!...

One Small Step For A Harbaugh, One Giant Leap For Mankind
Not 24 hours after Jim Harbaugh was introduced as the new head football coach at Stanford on Tuesday, there was a fairly large earthquake centered in Berkeley, home of rival Cal. A sign from the football gods? The answers are unclear; although personally we think that if God were going to punish t...

Jim Harbaugh Is Back In Town
Collegiate sports in the San Francisco Bay Area are — how shall we phrase it? — a little less intense than in other localities. For instance, if Auburn ever goes 1-11, expect that coach to show up at the next tailgate as the guest of honor, i.e., revolving slowly on a spit. But in Palo Alto, there w...

The Matsuzaka Has Landed
Well, the world of Red Sox fans can breathe a sliver easier this morning; Daisuke Matsuzaka has signed his (reasonable, really) deal and is now officially a target of the Boston faithful. We find it amusing that one of the first things he had to do when his plane landed was undergo a physical; tur...

Come Celebrate Mo Vaughn's Birthday!
If you're hanging around the Meatpacking District of Manhattan tomorrow evening, we encourage you to drop by the 39th birthday extravaganza for former Red Sox and (gasp!) Met first baseman Mo Vaughn. (Oh, and the Angels: Don't forget, he ate up their clubhouse spread plenty too, and probably hit an ...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Overheard in the newsroom (I work at a TV station) from someone watching the Dr. Pepper ACC Tournament: "Somewhere, Mr. Pibb is laughing his ass off." - RodeoQueen...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
"Georgia Tech's offense has one Ball and two Johnson's." - Rowan 2 FSU...