um Page 198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's Some Extremely White Shit
If you can think of something whiter than a college lacrosse team entering the field to an EDM track remixed with a Donald Trump speech in which the soundbite poorly aligns with the beat, spill it. Until then, this is the reigning champion....

The Sabres Will "Host" The Rangers In The NYC Winter Classic For A Specific Tax Purpose
The NHL announced Tuesday that the Sabres and Rangers will play the 2018 NHL Winter Classic at the Mets’ stadium in Queens. Despite the fact that the Sabres reside hundreds of miles away in Buffalo while the Rangers are only a borough away, the Sabres will be the “home team.” The NHL said that the d...

Do You Think The Cavs Are Worried About The Celtics Or Wizards?
Let’s check in....

The FBI Was Never Going To Save The Republic You Dolt<em></em>
A few minutes ago, this blog post was very long. I’d been working on it all day! It was like 1,200 words long and I wasn’t half finished. Then I deleted all that shit, because actually, what’s true and worth saying about Donald Trump’s surprise firing of FBI director James Comey is pretty simple....

Vladimir Putin, In Full Hockey Gear, Comments On Trump's Firing Of James Comey
Russian President Vladimir Putin sometimes entertains himself by getting decked out in hockey gear and forcing other people to skate around him and pretend to play defense while he scores a bunch of goals. He did that in Sochi today, but before taking the ice he was confronted by a CBS reporter who ...

Jim McElwain Elaborates On How He's Not The Nude Man Humping A Shark
The University of Florida told Deadspin Monday that head football coach Jim McElwain was not the nude man humping a shark in a photo that made its way around the internet over the weekend. The coach was asked again about it Tuesday at a speaking engagement....

Rockies Serve Cheap Swill To Appease Cubs Fans
Whenever the Cubs travel to Denver to play the Rockies, the stadium is full of Cubs fans. This is just a part of life—Cubs fans are everywhere at all times, and especially in Colorado, where fans were forced to turn to WGN for shitty Cubs baseball in the days before they had their own team—and nothi...

Jimmy John's Says That's Not Jimmy John Nude And Humping A Shark
On Monday, Florida football coach Jim McElwain said he was not the naked man photographed straddling a shark on a boat. Today, the Jimmy John’s sandwich chain told Deadspin that the nude shark humper also isn’t owner Jimmy John Liautaud....

Mark Trumbo Cranks A Homer Off A Shoulder-High Pitch
Orioles right fielder and 2016 home run champ Mark Trumbo has had a slow start this season, but he’s still big and strong, which is why he can do this to a 91-mph Gio Gonzalez pitch up around his collarbone:...

Jim McElwain Says That's Not Him Nude And Humping A Shark<em></em>
Over the weekend, a photo of a grinning, completely naked man hugging a shark on a boat made the rounds. U.K.-based wildlife TV presenter Anneka Svenska was one of the more notable people who shared the photo:...

Nonsensical Ejection Caps Off Red Sox-Orioles Beef In Dumbest Way Possible
The Red Sox and Orioles have engaged in quite the skirmish over the past week and change, repeatedly throwing baseballs at each other and glowering just enough to get Rob Manfred to step in and tell them to cool it. By the time the commissioner gets involved in a confrontation like this, it’s usuall...

Look At All These Crazy Stats From This NBA Season
Join me on a short journey through some neat NBA stats from the 2016-17 regular season....

Vikings' New Stadium Struggling With Leaky Walls, Loose Panels
Less than a year after it opened, the Vikings’ new stadium has leaky walls and loose panels with no clear plan for scheduling or funding repairs, according to reporting by the Minneapolis Star Tribune. ...

Who's Tired Of All The Winning?
Wednesday evening, after a round of the familiar, incoherent “Do this or I’ll shoot my own dick off” bluster and 10-miles-from-the-brinkmanship, the White House quietly signaled it would continue making insurance subsidy payments under the Affordable Care Act, to avoid a government shutdown. ...

NFL Insists On Having Draft In Front Of Museum, Obscures Museum With Foam Facade
The NFL insisted on the holding the draft at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. During talks with the league, Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney suggested the sports complex or Center City’s convention center. “They just weren’t interested,” he told the Inquirer. “They wanted the iconic steps, and I think i...

Get A Load Of The<i> Washington Post</i> Toting Water For Dan Snyder's Upcoming Stadium Scam
Nothing in this fawning Washington Post profile of Bruce Allen, team president of D.C.’s NFL franchise, would seem so much as a hair out of place in a glossy gameday program handed out by team employees inside the home stadium. To the extent it contains a thesis more complex than Bruce Allen is good...

Madison Bumgarner Placed On The DL After Presumably Bitchin' Dirt Bike Accident
The Giants placed Madison Bumgarner on the disabled list with a sprained left shoulder and bruised ribs. According to Ken Rosenthal, ...

The Patriots Want You To Know That Photos Didn't Capture Their Players' Snub Of The White House
On Wednesday the New York Times sports desk tweeted out two group photos of the New England Patriots at the White House, one from their post-championship visit with then-President Barack Obama in 2015, the other from yesterday’s visit with President Donald Trump. Lots of people, including us, jumped...

Wearable Tech Won't Fix What Is Broken Inside Of You<em></em>
Once upon a time, inspired by the good works of Kinja Deals, I bought something called a Lumo Lift. It’s a wearable tech. As far as I know, FitBit is both a unique wearable tech and also a genericized trademark for this sort of thing (fit bit). As far as I’m concerned, when I am wearing the Lumo Lif...

So Much For The Blue Jackets
This is one of those weird situations where it’s hard to avoid talking about a single call like it swung things, even though the entire series—a five-game Penguins win—was pretty one-sided. But the Blue Jackets are out, after the best regular season in franchise history, and there’s plenty of time t...