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![Trump Claims Tom Brady Endorsement; Recites Glowing Letter He Says Bill Belichick Sent Him [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/tc8wflg4ejukktxfhvre.jpg)
Trump Claims Tom Brady Endorsement; Recites Glowing Letter He Says Bill Belichick Sent Him [Updates]
At a rally in Manchester, New Hampshire this evening, empty gas station salami wrapper Donald Trump revealed the endorsements of a pair of New England Patriots heroes. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick purportedly told the future former candidate for president that they’d vote for him, and Trump even rea...
Found That Photo For You, Laura
Last year, former Deal Or No Deal model Laura Shields tweeted “I need to find that one pic I have of pinching Trump’s bottom.” We’ve got your photo, Laura—and a few others from the night in 2007 the GOP candidate celebrated his birthday with models in Atlantic City in, we’re told, the absence of his...
Wall Street Is Giving Trump A One In Three Chance
In financial markets, the outcome of a presidential election is most important in the sense of “What should I invest in if Trump fucking wins?” And the wizards of Wall Street are not ruling that possibility out! ...
All The Questions The 2016 Campaigns Were Afraid To Answer
As anyone in media will be quick to tell you, this has been one long, grueling election. We’ve seen pope feuds, rigged podiums, and Ted Cruz’s innards. But for all its scandal and intrigue, this election has been largely devoid of one thing in particular: Motherfucking answers....
Has Donald Trump Ever Actually Met A Dog?
At a rally last night in Pennsylvania, Donald Trump claimed his opponent Hillary Clinton “cheated like a dog” at their last debate. It’s just the latest in a long string of canny canine similes used Trump, and one that makes us wonder if the GOP presidential candidate has ever, actually, met a dog....
Where Is Jared Goff?
Los Angeles fans waited a long time for a football team, but they can’t wait any longer for a competent quarterback. As early as the second quarter, and multiple times in the Rams’ 13-10 loss to the Panthers, the Coliseum crowd struck up the chant: “We want Goff!”...
Trump Surrogate Criticizes Hillary Backer Jay Z For Video Featuring "Mazel Tov Cocktail"
Scottie Nell Hughes is still promoting Donald Trump on CNN despite her having been verbally assassinated on-air by Ana Navarro last month. Tonight, she stood up for her candidate after Trump attacked Beyoncé and Jay Z, who appeared with Clinton at a rally this weekend—but got one slight detail wrong...
They Finally Took Away Donald Trump's Twitter Account
With just two days left in our collective national hell, the Trump campaign is in its final push to do... something. After all, Trump doesn’t have any pollsters since the campaign refused to pay them. And he barely has the support of his own favorite daughter. Now, though, Trump’s lost perhaps the o...
Donald Trump Is Going To Get His Ass Kicked On Tuesday
I tweeted about this yesterday, but I’m gonna put the take here because maybe you’re already freaking out about Tuesday and starting to drink heavily. Here’s the deal: Donald Trump is going to get his ass kicked. Anyone who says otherwise is either a) afraid of jinxing it and/or making Hillary Clint...
Donald Trump Rushed Off Stage After Disturbance In Reno [Updating]
Donald Trump’s rally tonight in Reno came to a halt after a disturbance in the crowd led Secret Service to rush him off the stage....
Texas Tech Increases Lead On Texas With 100-Yard Fumble Return Touchdown
Texas running back D’Onta Foreman was a profile in courage as he dragged half a dozen Texas Tech defenders to the goal line. Then, tragically, he fumbled—and the Red Raiders’ Douglas Coleman picked up the ball for a 100-yard fumble return touchdown, turning the Longhorns’ go-ahead score into a TTU l...
Did Donald Trump Watch The Same Obama Speech We All Did?
Yesterday a Trump protester interrupted the president’s appearance at a Hillary Clinton rally in North Carolina, prompting Obama to quiet down a rowdy crowd and urge it to respect the man’s right to free speech. That’s a radical difference from the Trump approach already, but the GOP nominee saw thi...
Did You Hear The Latest Big Election Scoop?
This past weekend, I caught some evolved form of plague from my two-year-old, disease-carrying nephew. Though I’m past the worst of the illness at this point, some residual sinus pressure remains. So I stopped by the drugstore on my way into the office. It was here that I learned that Huma Abedin an...
Here's Some Wholly Believable Donald Trump Jr. Gossip<em></em>
Earlier today, Miami-based DJ Scott Melker posted a story on Facebook from his time at the University of Pennsylvania—time that he shared with none other than First Son-hopeful Donald J. Trump Jr. And according to Melker, Don Jr. (and his father, for that matter) behaves pretty much exactly like you...
Wizards And Caps Owner: I Suck Because D.C. Won't Pay My Bills For Me
This motherfucker. Here’s Ted Leonsis, majority owner of the Washington Capitals, the Washington Wizards, and the arena in which both those teams play their home games, D.C.’s Verizon Center, mewling to the Washington Post because he has to pay his own mortgage and building costs instead of passing ...
Minor League Baseball Team's New Logo Is A Musclebound, Horny Shrimp
If you woke up one day to discover that you were suddenly a millionaire named Ken Babby, what’s one of the first things you’d do? Would you use your wealth to humiliate a group of grown men by forcing them to wear uniforms featuring a cartoon shrimp humping the state of Florida? Why, yes—yes you wou...
I'm The Big Boy
In 2011, The Metropolitan Golf Writer’s Association awarded the Trump family the honor of Golf Family of the Year. Also in 2011, Donald J. Trump Jr. was a big, fancy booster chair boy....
Hunter Pence's Dance Moves Are Somehow Less Awkward Than His Batting Stance<em></em>
San Francisco Giants outfielder Hunter Pence transformed into an eerily accurate Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween, with his fiancée Alexis Cozombolidis dressing up as his sidekick, Pedro. Pence’s costume was one of the better athlete costumes this year, up there with Paul Pierce sitting on the bench ...
White Sox Didn't Want Giant Downward Arrow On Their Stadium; Corporate Sponsor Said "Too Bad"
When the White Sox announced a new, 13-year naming rights deal for their stadium (which you can continue to call whatever you’d like), the jokes were plentiful and justified: The name is awkward and bland, and could they really not do better than a medium-sized mortgage lender? But judgment was larg...